am i too sensitive?

Philippines
April 11, 2012 3:43am CST
a wile ago, i texted my husband. i said that he acts strange these days. (actually its kinda true but i understand he's just too tired of work) I just want to see how he reacts. i said he doesn't whisper "i love you" anymore before going to bed or kiss goodnight. well he used to do that everyday since we had not started working both. and then he replied "i love you kiss muaaaah" like that. and then i said. "youre too pretentious. "i just told you that's why you said that". and then he replied "arte mo" that term means like i'm too sensitive. something like that. and then i explained very well that he always does that when we are still stuck at home both. and then he replied "im sorry, it's just that you are in deep sleep and i don't want you to wake up totally" and then i realized that the moment he came home from work, he will kiss me and his son for us to know that he arrived. sometimes he brings me food and try to wake me up to it. and i did feel a bit guilty on why did i opened it up to him anyway. am i too sensitive?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
11 Apr 12
not really. we women are often like that...lol i am that way before, when i was not working yet and he was the one working, he would come home tired and just going to sleep right away and i would feel deprived of his attention lol and i would then text him the next day saying he does not say i love you anymore and things like that and he would say what is wrong with me..lol and he would say i am too sensitive sometimes..but i guess men are really like that ann, they are not that specific.. unlike us women, we love to hear those from our husband, we want them to hug us, to kiss us and they do not know that they need to do it lol. they need to be reminded.
• Philippines
11 Apr 12
your'e right. they are not that "showee" when it comes to their feelings. some sort of they have their own way of showing their love for us. but you know it's really sweet if we hear our man says things that pamper us right! but anyway i might accept the fact that he do not show some sweet things like that but i know he is focused in working rather than he says sweet things all the time but he's doing some monkey business right? i know you know what i mean. lol
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
11 Apr 12
that also creeps into my mind ann, sometimes when he does not show it or say it i would think he might be with somebody else!
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
you know my friend, somebody told me that there is some sort of a "reverse psychology in it". (the fact that my friend is a man). That when a man, is not that sweet from the very beginning of your relationship then suddenly one day or week he tends to be sweet all the time, then there's something wrong with him. or he might have done wrong. haha. i do not know if it's true.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
12 Apr 12
I think you are too sensitive. Your husband love you a lot, just sometime he is too tired of work so that he might forget something or did something not as you want. Woman is so sensitive with man's action, that why there is a bit misunderstanding between you and your husband. However, it was ok, finally both you guys are happy again...^^
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
yeah maybe i just have to be considerate. i know how hard he works for us. he sacrifices his time to work for us. it's just that i missed some of the usual acts. anyway we catch things up now. thank God.
• Philippines
13 Apr 12
thank you offkey. i don't use to nag my husband regarding this matter. i always say it in a nice way. so he would not be that upset.
@offkey (313)
• United States
12 Apr 12
She has a right, she misses him, she misses the little things he did to make her feel love, she wasn't getting what she needed so she told him how she felt. How is that too sensitive. @annrielym_03, You don't seem like your nagging him, you brought up concerns, that's all.
@shylade (3132)
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
women are like that so it is just normal. BUT don't push your husband too much or you will regret it at the end. we should sometimes forgive our husband for being insensitive because that's the way they are, haha.. just stay happy.
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
Of course i won't. i just gave him a reminder that still he has to be sensitive of what i feel. if i don't do that, i might freak out haha.. lol!
@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
I guess somewhat yes. Just to share with you. Before when we are still bf/gf with my wife, I used to said that also before our phone conversation ends. I even sang one of our theme song. We got married, I kissed her and said "I love you" before going to sleep. But now, I seldom do that anymore. Sometimes, my wife told me that before I used to do that. I know, saying those words and acting such will be a big thing to her. But sometimes doing that daily makes me feel bored (for nine years together) and think that just doing that because I used to. Nothing to blame on you, I guess you just missed those things. However, the love of your husband can be expressed in different ways. Just what you said, your husband tried to wake you up for the food he brings home.
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
hi friend. well know I know that men tends to get bored too of doing those things. well i guess i just have to deal with the fact that it's not that he doesn't love me that's why he does not do that. it's just that he's just taking a rest with doing it. thank you my friend.
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
You're welcome friend. He can still show that he loves you not only by saying it or doing the things he used to. There will be changes as time flies.
@offkey (313)
• United States
12 Apr 12
I too say this to my husband when he is acting strange, or I don't feel a connection with him. (I hate the too tired excuse) I tell him how I feel, if he told me I was or am acting too sensitive I would cry, of course I'm sensitive about this, I feel your not connecting with me, and it hurts. Don't feel guilty, you didn't do anything wrong you were trying to have an open conversation with your husband, you're supposed to be able to do that. You felt something was off and you need to get it off of your chest, he is your partner you should be able to go to him at any time. Its sweet that he has brought you food and woke you up for that. No you are not too sensitive, all you wanted was reassurance, and to bond.
• Philippines
13 Apr 12
thank you offkey. as of now, I'm happy that we are catching things up. i think my words last time affected him much that's why i can see that he's trying to make me feel comfortable. last night he brought me food again we had a little chance to talk and chat a bit while eating. and we had an agreement that at the end of my son's birthday, he would resign to his work and find new one that suites our both schedules. and then a while a go this morning, he drove me and his son to his grandma's house since he's in day off today. he asked me what do i want for dinner later and he'll cook some. and he will be doing household chores like washing our clothes, and cleaning our room. i just hope things will work out for us this time. thank you for sharing have a nice day ahead.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
2 May 12
I think you have a balance. You just want to know that your husband loves and cares for you by his expressions. You are letting him know the things that you need from him in order to be happy, even though you may not realize that you are doing that. Let him know that you care for him and that you are glad that he is in your life.
• Philippines
2 May 12
thank you dominique. there are lots of things that should be adjusted in our relationship and as of the moment, after saying this things to my husband, our relationship is okay. we had find ourselves enough time to spend. we adjusted our family time in order to make our relationship work.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 12
I'm glad that your husband has made the effort to adjust things. It's a good thing when they work with us to see things change. Today is going well for us and our relationship. I try and take things only a day at a time. Today I told my husband that he needed to spend a whole hour with our daughter while I got things done around the house and did some work. He did really good with her. Trying to keep her occupied so I could get a lot done. I will have to write this down as it doesn't happen very often and I would like to remember it.
@elmiko (6630)
• United States
11 Apr 12
yeah i think your too sensitive.
@offkey (313)
• United States
12 Apr 12
I think an explaination is in order, it's rude to be so vague.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
11 Apr 12
Well,as they say, women, wife are too demanding. I don't think it's demanding but only telling the truth. Little things means a lot to us (wives) and we are very keen observer when it comes to changes. On the other hand,try to understand the situation, instead why not kiss him first and hug him too rather than asking him to do it first. :)
• Philippines
11 Apr 12
yeah we might be too demanding for them but that's how we tell them that their little actions matter to us woman. and if i'm awake when he gets home from work, i make sure i do that. and also before going to work, since he's sleeping, i make sure i kiss him goodbye as well as the baby and whisper i love you before going out of the house.
@cloud31 (5809)
11 Apr 12
I think its normal to women like us, maybe we were used to it so sometimes when they miss even a just a while we are seeking for it. Women sometimes sensitive on what our love ones showing us.And I find not only women demand that way, most man do. And he demand more than I so maybe when you really love someone you will be sensitive in every way.
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
it's quite good that your'e husband tends to demand more than you do. i think your husband is sweet and caring. mine's way too sweet and way too odd. hehehe well in a way, i know how much we love each other. i just hope he's focused in work only hehehe.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
11 Apr 12
Hi, Your husband is more responsible and caring as he didn't want you to get disturbed in your sleep after a hard day's work. At the same time, sometimes we women want them to be more expressive and romantic which they can't just do so... LOL. have a nice time.
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
yeah he's quite caring. he knows i need to wake up early and get ready for work. i just cannot understand why he's sometimes sweet and sometimes not. i do not know if he has mood swings like me. LOL!
@haopee (493)
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
Aren't most women? I'm had my fair share of those too. I've been with my partner for five years now and it's a good thing he still kisses me whenever he arrives home. However, whenever he's too stressed or too tired from work, I also do my best to cook for him, make him a pitcher of juice or leave my laptop for him to play his online games. He no longer says I love you to me as often than he used to, but that's perfectly fine with me because I don't need to hear it anymore. Whenever he comes from work, I feel his love. Whenever he gets up to help in the house chores, I feel it too. Whenever we catch each others' eyes, I see it. This said, I hope you could also take the time to notice those little things. Hugs!
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
Well my friend. as of now i do not have the chance too see those things. it's because we work in different shifts. he works from 4:30pm-2:30am and i work from 8:30am-5:30pm so that explains that i go to work, he's asleep, he comes home from work, we are asleep. we do not have the chance to talk much. he just notify me when he gets home by kissing me on my cheeks as well as our son. and then i notify him that were going by kissing him also and that's it. everyday were like that. we also have different day offs. it's so hard to manage our relationship like that way. that's why i may way too demanding for those little things much because i missed him a lot.
@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
11 Apr 12
You may be but from my experience women tend to act like that. If a guy does something and then stops whatever the reason they kind of get suspicious. Me and my gf have discussions about these things. It's a good thing you noticed but as I tell her maybe you could try to think things through before you tell him. In your case for example after he told you you felt bad because he didn't do does things out of love and consideration. That's what I'm talking about. It's not bad to be sensitive, we are humans, we have emotions but even if you discuss these things be careful with the way you say it because you can hurt other's feelings without meaning to. I'm glad everything turned out to be ok for you.
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
hi! well i did think through those things before i told him. well, it's just that we women feel odd if something new is happening. like what i said, when he used to do this, and then stops, then maybe there's something wrong hehehe. don't think that i think suspicious about him with that hehehe. have a nice day!
• Philippines
11 Apr 12
most of the girls are really sensitive, and men should accept that. me myself, i admit that i get too sensitive to the point that me and my boyfriend would argue about little things. however, what is most important is that you get to understand each other at the end of the day. have a nice day!
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
yes i agree with you. what's important is that in every argument, or miss understanding in a day, it's essential that before you sleep together, it's fixed and your both okay. have a nice day too!