Some people I will never understand
By jugsjugs
@jugsjugs (12967)
April 11, 2012 5:47pm CST
I have a friend that calls me up and asks if they can pop down to see me, I feel that I have to say yes you can pop to see me.Perhaps she is just a friendly person, but of late there is something that I am not comfortable with.She is happy to tell me all what has been said about me and another friends break up that she has been told by this friend, also other peoples lives and their problems.This I hate people discussing other people and their lives, also this is another reason why I have nothing todo with the friend who I so called broke up with, I do not care what others are doing, when will people get the hint.People bad mouthing others just makes me think when they leave her they will be bad mouthing me.
6 people like this
30 responses
@allknowing (136588)
• India
12 Apr 12
You can be sure that those who tell you bad things about others will talk about you behind your back pretending all the while they are your friends. I too abhor such
'friends'
2 people like this
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
12 Apr 12
I agree and feel the same way. If they will talk about others why not you?
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
15 Apr 12
You are right.I have had a few friends over the years that have done this and I will say that it got beyond a joke in the end and no longer have anything to do with any of them.I feel that some times with friends it is hard to realise who the true one are as well.
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
12 Apr 12
That sounds very high school to me. I can understand high school teens, especially teen girls doing that, but not adults.
Yes, there are times where a friend may have done something that they shouldn't have done, and yes, my friends and I are going to talk about because we just can't help it's hard not to say something if it's real big, but we won't talk about it to their face unless it's an intervention of some kind.
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (12967)
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15 Apr 12
Its when people add things to what have been said or done really gets to me.Plus if a friend wants to come to see me, i would rather talk about every day things, like children that we have, or places that we are going or have been to.I also think if a person is saying things about other people, then when they leave here they will be doing the same behind my back.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
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15 Apr 12
I think that is the best way, not to say anything to people that they can get to gossip about.I tend never to leave any paper work about, so that way no one knows what is going on in my life.I also tend to not tell people what groups, clubs, etc that I have joined, as that way they can not just turn up there.
2 people like this
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
14 Apr 12
there are people who really loves to talk with other peoples lives. they dont realize that what if other people talked about their lives too, then what would they feel? they talk at this peoples back but never help that person. it is okay if you talk about other peoples lives as long as you help them do the right thing, or if you are asking on how to help them. but if you talk just because of gossip... bad bad bad thing. just like you, i dont like people who are like that. it is a waste of time to talk with them.
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
16 Apr 12
yes i avoid people too who are like that. i also avoid people who thinks that they are the only intelligent people in the world. they think that all they do is the best. i hate people who are like that. i avoid them for i dont like to start a fight. life is simple and they complicate it. i dont like a complicated life. i can live my life with people who loves and appreciates me. that is life.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6955)
• United States
11 Apr 12
And you are probably right! I would start being "busy" when she calls. I hate gossip too! It's wrong to listen to and sometimes I can get pulled into it too. And before I know it, I am saying things I regret. I would avoid her if I could.
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
12 Apr 12
I am going to avoid the same as a few other people that are the same as her.I can not see why people are like that.I do not mind people saying how they are and their family etc, but when it is talking about other people I think it is sad if that is all they seem to do.I have quite a few friends that often come to see me and they are not people that discuss other people at all, as we talk about things like our children, repairs on the house, new things as well as sites that we are on.
2 people like this
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
14 May 12
That's true. When people told us on others so freely, we can always expect that they would tell others about us, too. I would try to steer the topic away from other people lives and try to talk about politics, economy, or astronomy... see if that will help them not badmouthing others...
At least they would think twice before hurrying to pop in our house to tell on others...
At least they would think twice before hurrying to pop in our house to tell on others...1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
28 Apr 12
I know how you feel. I feel the same way and am uncomfortable talking to people who badmouth other people. I do think they would be doing the same about me when they leave...and many times I have been proved right on that count.
Even when I fall out with a friend, I do not go around badmouthing the ex-friend and am not comfortable discussing the reason for the fall out. It is usually personal and I do not like justifying and complaining to others. I also do not like others trying to guess what happened or went wrong.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
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2 Aug 12
I would never bad mouth a friend that I was no longer friends with, but as for her, well, lets just say she hung herself on facebook, that is what made my day for all to see.I do feel that she has been yapping behind my back, telling her lies, but at least people will now think twice when she says things about other people.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
12 Apr 12
Why do you feel you have to say yes?
a) You may be busy, and may not have the time for her to pop in.
b) If I were in your shoes, I'd tell her that I just don't feel comfortable listening to her gossip, and I don't like her gossiping about me.
If you don't speak up, this uncomfortable situation is going to go on forever.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
2 Aug 12
I agree with the others that you should find a reason to be "busy" when she calls. I can't stand that stuff. I have a co-worker who gets on facebook and has to message me and anyone else everytime she hears something negative being said about me or them. I have gotten so I just don't even respond back. The only point in doing something like that would be to stir up trouble between people and/or hurt feelings. That's just the type of person that if you were to say anything at all about someone else to her, she would be running right back and tell that person.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
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2 Aug 12
I think that she thought that if she lied, then she would never get caught out, as I am stuck at home and can not really get out to see people and with it being school holidays my friend would not be seen by me to ask what I had been told.I inboxed my friend on face book and also put a status up and the friend saw all what was put and she was not happy.So facebook done me favor for once, by showing the liars true colours.This person is no longer part of my life and everyone say the lies what she really is in black and white.
@celticeagle (167071)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Apr 12
And you are probably right. If it were me I would tell the person I am busy or make it apparent I am not intersted. It may be that the other person asked this person to see whats up with you. Or your friend is curious. I wouldn't trust this person with anything personal.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (167071)
• Boise, Idaho
16 Apr 12
I wouldn't answer either. Avoiding them is probably best.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
15 Apr 12
I am going to keep rather quiet, as in not answer the phone, in the hope that they are the ones that are calling me, as I am unsure of their number, lol.I hate it, as I hate to have to lie to people, but I can see me exploding one of these times when they discuss other people and their lives.
2 people like this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
25 Apr 12
You can bet your bottom dollar they are too. I have learned that when people talk about others that are not there, when your not, they are talking about you too. I hate that. I might just ask her one day..instead of telling me what is going on with them..what has been going on with you? That way you are steering her away from that. I guess that isn't going to change the way she is with other people, but it might make your pop in visits a little more pleasant.
1 person likes this
@alicia812 (646)
• Australia
8 May 12
I ignore people like this. I believe that whatever a person does to others
behind their back, is also capable of doing the same thing behind your
back. That is why I am very observant on how people treat others
because that is how they are to me when I do not see them. I avoid
people like this. If I were in your place I would rather pretend that I
am busy at home and cannot be disturbed.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
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2 Aug 12
I have not got to worry about pretending I am busy anymore, as I have caught this person out telling lies, also told her to go away as shes a liar.I hate people trying to stir things up with other people, as it makes people upset as well as worry and that is what happened to the person that they had lied to.
@vandana7 (100300)
• India
12 Apr 12
Smart..something is eating her..she is desperate to find friend..so in all probability she does not have one. She is turning towards you thinking you dont have one so you should feel grateful to her for that. Turn the tables. Make her feel that way saying you are busy and what nots, and keep yourself busy. Let her get on her knees to be your friend. Then dictate your terms. They all come around. :)
1 person likes this
@honest_efforts100 (1607)
• India
25 Jul 12
It’s a good assumption because we do not expect them to keep quiet next time when they are not with you. These are the kind of people who get into trouble more often just because of their mouth. Believe me when I say that you do not want to be caught in the middle of a word exchange.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
2 Aug 12
This woman did not like me telling her that she was a liar and that she is a stirrer, as I did know for a fact that my friend had not seen me to say anything at all.I also made a comment on face book where the liar then made a comment and the friend that had been bad mouthed saw it, as I told her to look, lol.Now that is what I call caught out big time,lol.She is not welcome here anymore.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
15 Apr 12
I think you can rest assured that she is indeed badmouthing you when she leaves your place, so I'm unclear as to why you feel that you have to say yes. I would say no in a heartbeat. I would probably try to be somewhat polite about it, but it would be no just the same.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
20 Apr 12
Oh yes, certainly!! haha Imagine if they can badmouth another person in front of u, i'm very sure she will do the same thing behind your back to another person.. lol 
It's best not to share too much information to her, for u never know how she's gonna convey your words to your mutual friends Likewise, sooner or later, it's either u will break your friendship with her, or she's gonna cause u to lose even more friends, because of her badmouth ways/gossip, whatever it is :((
Imagine if they can badmouth another person in front of u, i'm very sure she will do the same thing behind your back to another person.. lol It's best not to share too much information to her, for u never know how she's gonna convey your words to your mutual friends Likewise, sooner or later, it's either u will break your friendship with her, or she's gonna cause u to lose even more friends, because of her badmouth ways/gossip, whatever it is :((@jugsjugs (12967)
•
2 Aug 12
She lied about one of my friends to me on the phone and I soon told her to go away and lie to some one else, as I did know for a fact what she said was a total lie.I wanted to catch her out, to get her out of my life and that is what I have done.She is no longer welcome here.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
15 Apr 12
I have been noticing more and more these days that there are people that will talk badly about other people and in a lot of situations, I can't help but ask those people how they talk about me when I am not around.
The reason that I say that is because if a person has the audacity to talk about someone when they aren't around that I do know, then I would assume that those people would also talk badly about me when I'm not around.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
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16 Apr 12
You are right there, it seems that it do not matter who they talk about or who to, but you can rest asure that they will be also talking about you when you are not around.In one way they should look closer to home, rather than looking at other peoples home lives.Shows how sad some people are to even bother to discuss others.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
17 Apr 12
I'm always wary about people who are prone to gossip. People who are more than willing to share stories about other people. And then they want to share their stories to me? I would also worry about what they do when they are not around my sight. I'm sure they also tell stories about me.
Best to stay away from those kind of people.
@jugsjugs (12967)
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1 Aug 12
You are right there, as I have proved to certain friends that all she do is come here to stir things up and then go some where else and lie about other people.I will say that this person has now been caught out big time and I will say that she will never be welcome here again.Its crazy why people are like this.
@triplejazzm51 (1373)
• Philippines
14 Apr 12
Hi jugsjugs, how are you? I think you have to avoid this kind of person. I also have a friend who is exactly like that. At first, i just listen to her but i am really not comfortable discussing others lives because i don't want other people to be discussing my life or interfering in my life too. There are times that i pretend to be busy so that she would not talk to me but she would come closer and start talking until i could not concentrate in my work anymore. One day i told her straight that what she is doing is a waste of both our time because we have nothing to do with that person. I also told her to focus more on her life rather than the life of others.
@jugsjugs (12967)
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16 Apr 12
I do wish that people would focus more on what they were doing, rather than what other people are doing.I am going to avoid this person and only speak to them when I have to.Shame that this person is a joint friend, as I am sure that what this person said once about them talking about me was true.
@joystick (1675)
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14 Apr 12
I know what you are saying, as this has also happened to me a lot of times.I tend to say, sorry I can not at the moment, as I have company, or that I am unwell, that usually sorts the problem out.lol.I hate these types of people as they are the two faced ones, no sooner have they left you, they are stabbing another person in the back.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
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16 Apr 12
I think that is a thing that I am going to have to do, as I get so mad, when people back stab others, then they turn round and get as far as they can up them like they have not said a thing about them.I have managed to stay away from one back stabber since December, now it looks like its another one to avoid.
