Long distance love part 2...

Philippines
April 12, 2012 12:10am CST
In my previous post,I have discuss about my long distance relationship with my boyfriend. And few days ago, meet a cousin of mine and she asked me how are we both doing,when I said fine & doing well,she gave me a hesitant look & told me,"believe me,you have to let it go,you're too far & you're a single mom,would you deny him a chance to meet a very single lady?"..I can understand her because she was engage once (also in long distance relationship)but when everything was ready for their wedding,she came to know her bf had an affair with a another lady & got that lady pregnant so they have to call off the wedding thus make her bitter with anything that can possibly have a happy ending. I told myself not to take it seriously but then I have thought of my boyfriend too.We are actually very honest with each other so I told him what I felt and even asked him that maybe we should give space to each other & told him to try to see & meet very single girls( well I am single but I have a child). At first he laughed at me,he even told me I'm crazy but he realized I am a bit serious about it and that's when he started to get upset. He told me not to say it again because I cannot do anything to push him away from me and that he loves me for me and he can't believe that I am giving it all up and told me to stop what I'm doing because he will never leave me.I told him,I am not giving up,it's just that I love him too & I just wanted what I thought to be the best thing for him. I know it's sounds so pathetic for me talking about my relationship here but I can't talk to my family about this,they will get mad at me because they all love my boyfriend And my fellow myLotters,you think I did the right thing telling him about what I thought?
1 person likes this
3 responses
jonnifc
@jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
14 Apr 12
Your cousin probably meant well because she had a bad experience. But what she had was different from what you have because you guys are different people. Your personalities are different. What I didn't like about what she said was that she thinks you're denying your bf a better relationship. What if he doesn't want another relationship and he wants just you? What if for your bf, you're the best already? I think it was right that you are open with your bf about what you thought and felt. Communication is important in a relationship. But is letting him go really what you want? You said what you wanted to say and he said he only wanted you. I think that's a sign that he really wants to make things work out for your relationship. You should be happy about that. You say that you love him very much. But if the tables were turned and he told you that, wouldn't you think that "hey, why are you telling me this? Don't you want "us" anymore?" If your answer is that you still want "us", then that's that. Don't be the reason why he should look at other women. You might regret it in the end. I'm just saying this because if I was in your situation, I wouldn't want my man looking at other women. He said I was the one, so I won't push him away. I want him to be loyal and faithful to me as I am loyal and faithful to him. I am also in an LDR so I feel for you. Also, don't sell yourself short. Just because you are a single mother doesn't mean that single women are better for your bf. You are special and your bf thinks that so own it. Believe it. And take care of the love and dedication he has decided to give to you. You deserve it. Cheers!
shenlynn7823
@shenlynn7823 (641)
• Philippines
15 Apr 12
hi jon, Actually I do understand my cousin in that way,I know what she feels and what she has gone through but then...I really shouls have thought her bf is different from mine.But it's fine now.He told me,he only wanted me...he loves me truly and that my daughter too like his own. Thank you jon...you made me feel special being a single mom and yes from now on...instead of listening to what others have to say about our relationship...if it's good,I would gladly accept it...but if not,i'll just ignore it.what matters is we do love each other and we are both willing to wait...trust and loyal to each other.
mobhomeir
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
13 Apr 12
Hello shenlynn, this is your love story that remains to be seen in the future. Well, there was nothing wrong in what you did. At least your heart is so open for your man to see. There's a saying that goes, if you really love someone let her/him go, set him free (as what you mean to be)because you want him to be happy.Assuming that he would grab your offer and then he comes back again to you then you are really meant for each other. if he doesn't come back at least you give him a chance;measuring his sincerity and love to you. But, since your man doesn't want to live you, then, obviously he means business. He really madly, deeply, religiously in love with you.In your situation being a single mom - you must be lucky to find such loving and understanding boyfriend. Keep your relation stronger forever and ever. Hope you both achieve a happy ending, I would be looking forward on that day... Nice and happy weekend. Mobhomeir here.041312
shenlynn7823
@shenlynn7823 (641)
• Philippines
15 Apr 12
hi mobhomeir, Well...I wish that he grabbed it but I was not successful...he doesn't want anyone but me( that's what he said).I did something though,I have tried not to talk to him in 3 days.I received around 100 messages from him,he tried to contact my mom & older sister and today I just gave in and started talking to him again...and he told me no matter how long,he will still wait for me. well,thank you for such nice encouraging words....means a lot.
asiacevillar
@asiacevillar (643)
• Philippines
12 Apr 12
you just did the right thing dear. But I think it's really a normal thing for women to be like that especially if you're on a long-distance affair.I've been into that instance many times before and last month I made up my mind to finally broke with her after just 7 months, I did that because I felt a little pity for her, she's too young and still has a bright future ahead of her and I felt to be a deterrent to that, I thought that since it's too early I should let her go to avoid any complications that may result when the time comes I'll be going back to my hometown because I might impregnate her, she's just too young for that to experience. I loved her but I think I just did the right thing. I really have to do that. Shenlynn, you should meet the guy in person and as possible, don't put all your trust to anyone. You think you know the guy and you love him but in your unconscious mind your defense mechanism is taking its action because it tries to deny what you outta do, In my case I turned off my defense mechanism functions.hehe to finally come up with a good decision- a decision I'll never regret. Good Luck To the both of you!
shenlynn7823
@shenlynn7823 (641)
• Philippines
15 Apr 12
hello asia, oh i'm sorry about your break up but since you think it is much better like that then I would say..God bless you...Thank you for the comment and yes you are right,not to put the trust on anyone but i'm willing to give it a chance.thank you..