I'm considering a proposal..A marriage proposal but.....

I think it is just because you have seen so many failing marriages that you just do not want to be a victim. Take your time and get married when you are ready. Do not be in a hurry and if you decide to get married, do it because you feel you are ready to face all challenges and to commit yourself.

Helo cloud, Marriage is something not to be rushed, it takes a lot of maturity and stability (financially included). this is a ascended level of your relationship that is in it for a life time.besides, there's more time for courtship, make sure that when you two are ready, it should be the decision of two. fears are normal but if you overcome it, then it's going to be great

Those are valid fears for couples that wanted to settle down. I think those jitters if left unresolved could really stop you from what you want to do with your life. I think do not allow your fears get you away from what you want. In marriage, there is always risk of encountering some problems but I know with love everything can be resolved and work on by the both of you. Marriage is indeed a team that needs cooperation from the both of you. You are both responsible from everything you do to your marriage and those fears can happen if both of you are not yet prepared to face it. Now ask yourself what do you want for yourself. Do you feel the need to settle down or not? If it is fear that only hinders you from what you want then what do you want to do with your life? Live in fear or with what you want?

How long have you been together? do you really know each other? i'm with my husband for 4 years and still we are not married. i mean we have a kid and we live in the same house that's why we consider ourselves husband and wife even if we are not legally married. and as of now we are considering some points like financial capabilities before we get married. and, we are considering our age, we were also in late 20's and many things might happen. as a woman like you i cannot say that your fears doesn't mean you are not ready for a marriage. it's normal. even i, (considering i have a kid with him) still fears many things. the only thing that i hold in our relationship is our love for each other. there's no assurance for anything even if you get married. good luck to you. and i envy you my friend. i wish we could get married too.

I believe that fear, when facing a serious decision, that can change our lifes, is something perfectly normal, and a marriage proposal is quite a decision to make. First, you need to understand that there is no warranties in life, specially when two people are involved, but if you really love him, and he loves you too, there is no reason for this not to work well, in the end, regardless the bad times ahead. If you are still unsure about getting along well with him, maybe you should keeping as boyfriend for a little longer, trying t get deeper into his heart, mind and feelings, there´s no need for hurry, and, if you decided that he is the man for you, go ahead, and don´t let fear to interfere in your life. Wish you blessings and happiness.

Which dominates your heart, love or fear? If fear does, delay it. If love dominates, meaning you have to take consequences what ever happens. Your fear will disappear later on I think. What is important is that you love him. If you don't you can postpone it.

To be honest you seem unsure so I think it's time for you to wait. You need to let your partner know that you think a long engagement is needed, that you do want to marry him but for now you need to be sure you're ready. This way when the time comes you will know it or sense it. Never rush into these things, I have and it's not worth it. Just take your time and keep saving, keep having fun.

I think your fears are normal, and do not mean you should't marry. Having said that, if you really love each other, you should be able to survive just about anything. Do you feel like you are ready to commit to him and him only? There seems to be no perfect age, it depends on your maturity and his of course. I was in my early 30's and he was a few years older, I thought that was a good age, because wre had matured. It turned out we were both kind of set in our ways, and both of us were kind of stubborn and didn't compromise on some things and it ended up in divorce. You never really know if it is going to work or not, if you feel the time and person are right, you just take the chance. You must be able and willing to work on it though, that is VERY important. If you do decide to marry, good luck.

Hi Cloud31, First of all congratulations on your nuptials. Now as I read what you wrote here for personally I think it normal what you are feeling right now. We all want the perfect answer... something to tell this is the one person... but there are no signals, light bulbs etc... If you feel 90 percent this guy is for you then go for it. If it does not work out then you will have no regrets etc... I think all us ladies who got married for the first time have these questions in the back of our mind up to to the time we get married at the altar, or the justice of the peace... and in any country. There is no way to understand this and you know in the your hearts of hearts if this is right for you. Let us know how it goes. When is the big day? Also you may want to talk your mom and your dad how they felt before they got married? What they say may help ease your mind too!Good Luck and God Bless your marriage. Thanks Unique16

Only settle down when you are sure you are ready for it. Although there is no marriage that you won't be arguing, or sharing insights, or not speaking to each other for a whole day. It's part of the process of accepting your life partner. You know what it's like to be in a relationship: only a marriage is when you can't turn back on the person you choose because you are willing to take everything on.

Hi miss cloud31! Wow, you’re getting married. That would be the most special event that can happen to 2 people in love. A lot of questions will really come on your mind, and I guess that’s just normal. Think back on the time when you didn’t know each other yet, when he was still courting you. You were also been unsure but you decided to answer him. Marriage is similar but of course in highest level. And since your relationship was already in years now, at least you may already have an idea on how and what kind of lover that guy is. And since you have reached the level of planning a marriage, it simply means that your relationship is serious and it already built a foundation. You might have already seen positive and negative traits of each other and if you can still love each other despite of seeing differences and weaknesses, that would also be a big factor. Couples normally have differences since they have been raised from different set of people and surroundings but willingness to accept and adjust to your partner is simply a sign of true love. Marriage is the entrance to the world of loving hearts and all faithfully in love couples should enter. We won’t be able to know what’s in there unless we go inside. But if you are deeply in love and you trust each other, then there’s no need to worry because whatever life is waiting there, you will face it together. Once you get married, you two become one. And don't worry, I can see that you are one special girl and your soon to be husband will do his best to be the best husband that he can be. Well, I’m wishing you best of luck and may you come up with the right decision. Take care always and may God always be the center of your relationship. Have a great day!

In my choices in life there is no room for doubts. When there is doubt I will never pursue it. I just think that it's something I would regret someday if I'm going to push it. When I chose to be with the one I love, there was no distractions, no questions and no doubts. It was then that I released that this is for me. I am like this because I know myself. It could be different in your case. Time is what you need and maybe a great sign.

-sigh- Of course, everyone can tell you are not fully ready to be married. But I think this is completely normal for anyone who would consider a proposal for marriage. You might be over thinking in this case. However, it is good that you think over things thoroughly first before deciding. Marry when you are completely ready or as ready as you can be. Never force yourself to marry when you have inner doubts. Better to talk about this with your partner. He should understand. If he doesn't understand that, then I'm afraid you shouldn't marry. At least wait until all things are cleared up. I hope this advice will help you.

Marriage is a big scary decision because it effects the rest of our lives. Too many nowadays end in divorce. You are right to take some time to decide. If you love him with all your heart and you think you'll be alright financially and your families support you then you have a very good chance to have a successful happy marriage, I think. The fear you have is natural because we all fear the unknown and if something will last but there are no guarantees in life, so we have to take chances sometimes in life.

Hi there! You are nurturing unfounded fears and apprehensions, which you should not. If you are physically and financial sound and so is your would be hubby, there is nothing to worry. When you get married, then only your married life will start and you will have to play the role of a wife (which you have not played earlier). We all face this situation and gradually we settle in our new role(s). Marriage means you need to accommodate your partner and he also needs to 'adjust' with you. However, it takes some time to 'understand' each other and when you attain the 'understanding level', things start running smoothly. Remember no one is perfect and we need to accommodate our partner with all his/her positive and negative points. All the best to you! I am sure you would prove to be a good wife. My best wishes are with you.

Having alot of questions and some anxiety doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't ready for marriage. I think you need to weigh the pros and cons of getting married. Talk to people who are married. Hang out with married people. The financial part of it, no free time to yourself, answering to someoneelse, not looking at other men as possible marriage material anymore, being open and available mentally, physically, and sexually to this person. If you have qualms about any of these things then you should wait until you have talked to your partner about them and feel at ease. Its a huge step.

I guess you are not in love with this person other wise you would not have so many doubts Am I right? if your career is doing well and you are happy the way you are why hurry? just take some time to think and don't rush into a marriage you are not sure of.

Your going to get married soon? You can make decisions later if you have these fears.Try to know him well and prepare yourself to accept things about him. Not every marriage is successful but if you let fear intervene to your decisions then maybe you may not know how it works for you, maybe that will bring you a satisfactory outcome then you've miss it.I know your smart enough to understand and manage this situation you are undergoing. I wish you happiness my cloud.Sure enough that you will be a good wife and perfect partner of your husband in the future.

I think it is better to avoid marriage if one isn't almost prepared for it. Certainly there will reach a time that you almost prepared to enter a married life, as you are in late 20s. See almost is an important factor here.

You still have time to think over your mental preparedness before you reach a decision to get married.I have a question for you and a suggestion as well.Why are you so apprehensive about your marriage? I mean,what's your fear? My suggestion is,never think that your marriage would be a failed marriage.In fact,we invite everything that we think about.If you continue fearing your marriage may be failed,then it will certainly fail.Risks are always there in life.You have to take risks if you want to enjoy life. Ponder over everything objectively,and then decide whether you should get married or not.But never let yourself get driven by baseless fears. My best wishes.