Could you Ever forgive them?

Hello there. Bad or good they are still your blood-relative and to them you will seek help in dire time. Whatever they say about you, it is still their perception and you can change that. Why they have that perspective? Maybe it is because you aren't trying to hard enough to make them notice your true self. Maybe they aren't trying to know you better before making any perception. Maybe you aren't going through the life path they thought you would and made them make that assumption. Whatever the cause is, you can still change that! And you need to change that. You can't just barely do like they perceive you. Cause that will make your reputation worsen. Why? Because if you justified their perception, they may spread their perception of you to others such as your other relatives and the cycle will continue on and on. If you (at least try to) change their perspective, they will surely change their perception towards you and try harder to know you better. In the long run, you won't ever have to face the same problem. So yeah, I will forgive my family members for their wrong perception towards me cause people can't read my and people can't satisfied all. Best regards. :) Happy myLotting !

I'm also vindictive. If a relative called me a bad name, then I think I would be that to them too. And I wouldn't forgive them. But if it was my close family. Like my kids, then I would never stay mad at them. As I am stuck with them, whatever my reputation is, they would also be stuck with me. For better or worse.

I went through this with my older sister......she called me a loser...this is when my third book came out?????? Anyway I found that the biggest problem with her was that she hated herself....I blasted her after waiting 50 years to finally do so....and now things are good between us....she is on depression meds...mostly because her life is in the sh*tter due to her constant money problems. Did I forgive her..absolutely....

No I don't think I can. People got think before try and destroy my reputation, they want to do that it's just fine, people tried already but they are into a hell of a war cause once I get in, once I know I'm right, I don't hold back ever.

I'd forgive them if they ask for apologies. On the other hand, if they keep the offense, I'd try to defend me and of course I'd avoid any contact with them. I think, any will find in life people who could offend us and we must deal the best way with that.

humbly speaking, i am gifted with good looks. so most people would turn their eyes on me whenever i walk passed them. i have lots of girl cousin. some of them are good looking too. i can feel that one of them doesn't really like me. most of the time they wouldn't upload photos on if i'm not it. i kept quiet about it for years, until one time i couldn't take it anymore, i told her i know she doesn't like me. she was shocked. she looked really guilty. but i'm over it now. it's her lose. she gets out-of-place everytime theirs a family gatherings

I have relatives like that. And I grew up listening to that and being mad at my mom too for taking out her frustrations on me.And all I did was be a normal teenager. Now I find that the kids of my relatives are really out creating a 'reputation'. I don't point a finger or gossip about them. I'm sure my relatives are embarrassed but they haven't come straight out and apologized to me or my mom for all that they said or did years ago. In 2 instances, I've even helped them with their problems and they showed their appreciation by returning it in kind. I don't hold a grudge against them but sometimes the hurt returns....but it passes off soon enough. Looks like I haven't forgotten but I have forgiven.

A family member in the first place would not, I think, make you bad in the public, as much as possible, they would protect you from that situation, but how come they did so? That's a question in my mind now... and upon thinking about it for the second time, I guess we have two choices, if I were in your shoes, I would forgive them if there was a misunderstanding between me and one of my family members, sometimes that will build a gap and drop the protection we should have in favor of each other. Sometimes they were also brainwashed by some ill-minded folks, if such situation happened in the presence of those factors, I should learn to accept that it's not their free will, and they were only driven by something that controlled them. It's forgivable...

When my husband and I became engaged, the game was on where my parents were concerned. While we were dating, they had already expressed their concerns to us directly regarding the relationship, but we respectfully declined their advice. They didn't handle it well. We couldn't even "agree to disagree," but I thought we left things on good terms with them. Instead of dropping it, they decided to take things into their own hands (behind my back, of course). They spread rumors that my fiance abused me (emotionally and even physically) and said that's why I was so thin, and they lied that I was sick all the time. I didn't know these things were being said until I had friends and acquaintances coming to me asking if I was ok and advising me against marrying this guy. The thing that kills me is that things weren't going their way, so they spread lies about my man and me to get everyone on their side. That's very childish! Of course these people didn't want us to get married because of this horrible monster my parents had made my fiance out to be! What my parents did was absolute insanity, but we got married anyway. My parents didn't attend our wedding. That was a relief at the time, but I know they regret it now. I'm sad they couldn't be there, but it was for the best. If they had that mentality going into it, that the marriage was a complete joke, then I didn't want them there anyway. We did forgive my parents. People tell me all the time that what they did was inexcusable, and I get it. We chose to forgive them anyway. Not because they asked us to forgive them or because they deserve it, but because that's what we wanted to do. They probably don't deserve to have communication with us anymore, and I know a lot of people would've cut them off, but that's not how we chose to deal with it. The rumors my parents started weren't justified, but people found out the truth anyway. Some people came to us directly for answers, and they got the truth. Others found out that my hubby wasn't the man they'd made him out to be just by observation. It's still hard for me, to be honest. I can handle what my parents did to me because I can stand up for myself, but what they did to him and what he had to deal with makes me crazy to think about all over again. The pain is still there, but I chose to forgive them anyway. The sad part is that I don't know if they'll ever apologize. Probably not in this lifetime...

I God forgives, why can't you? What is important i think is the fact that you know they have issues on their behavior and being realized that, then an option would be to make them reflect on themselves of what they are doing is wrong. The issue here is having the truth on your side and making them aware of it.

Hi behen I agree that this is harsh but it depends on who is telling this. If my immediate family, I have to get things clarified and I have to make the efforts to set things right. If I fail then, the question of leaving or continuing comes. Not before I have given it my effort. The blood relation is always important and Indians are strongly attached with these blood relatives. And again being the eldest in the family, there are many responsibilities that you always have to shoulder... like it or not but you have to live up to them... (That is the normal thought) - For me, I will but again... I have to remain un-hurt, If there is something which is hurting, it is My responsibility to get the airs cleared or at least try once to get them cleared - if I fail... then it depends for how long I am not forgiving.

It depends on the person (no matter if it's family or not) if I would forgive. To me it's not important how others think about me but how I think about myself. I have to live with me with not with my family. Nobody can give you a bad reputation you can only do that by yourself if you feel it that way. I also don't think it matters if you forgive your family or anyone else. It won't make you feel better if you say you do so but are or feel angry. That angryness will eat you. So the only thing you can do is give it a place, go on with your life, believe in yourself and delete negative people out of your life.

I've had a family member call me a B before. I don't take it to hard when they say bad names to me because most of the time its out of anger and they blowing something up more then should. I wouldn't act that way just to show them that I am what they are talking about. To me that is childish and I don't get down to that level of there games when they are acting like a child or saying names. I just ignore them and don't talk to them or see them. Which is easy for me since we all live so far away.

It's sad when your family member thought like that about you. They are family, they should be the one supporting you and care more about you. Well sometimes that is life. If that happens to me I will get really mad and sad. But i can still forgive them, I know it will take long to forgive them because it's not easy. I will just pray to God and give me a forgiving heart. sarahruthbeth22 just rely on God and everything will be fine:)

I don't know since I have not experienced this yet. Besides, I am not sure whether I will be so generous to forgive others. Even if I do, it still needs a long time to persuade myself to do so. I love China

I have a hard time getting past it when anyone that is close to me does something to hurt me. Family even more. I guess I have a somewhat unrealistic vision of the way that people should treat people and if they don't, I space myself far far away.

it is very hard when your family member did something bad to you. of all the people, why they will do that to you right? if i were the same me before (not a mother i mean), i will definitely got fire up and deal with them the way they do it with me. but being a mother now, i gain so much patient. i will rather do what is good for us rather than think of what other people will say. i am living here for myseld, my husband, and for my son, not for them. they can say whatever they want and for as long as i know the truth and i am not stepping on another person's foot, i know i will be fine. grudge will not help me in any way so i just let it go and leave them to God.