would you marry down?
By dream_ozn
@dream_ozn (1754)
Singapore
April 14, 2012 10:12pm CST
I was reading through the newspaper just this morning and the headlines today was "would you marry down".
The girl comes from a rich family and is a graduate. She has however chosen to marry a man who sells chicken rice at a hawker center. Currently she is helping him out in his stall and have some plans to open more branches.
She is one very lucky girl because her parents are supportive of her decision. But this girl mentioned that their road would not be an easy one as it is difficult to explain to relatives and her friends and many people won't understand her decision.
i can really empathize with her because i am in somewhat of the same position as she is. I am currently an undergrad and i have a boyfriend of 6 years who is an optician. i'm from Singapore, he's from Malaysia and he stopped schooling at his SPM, equivalent to our Secondary 4. My parents are extremely against our relationship and he dosen't come to my house and i don't talk about him at home as nobody is happy that i'm with my boyfriend.
What do you think about marrying down and i would be very happy to hear if you have any view on my relationship and how i should handle it!
6 responses
@Mashnn (4501)
•
15 Apr 12
Love is not about richness or where you come from. If you are in love and the person that you have fallen in love respect you and treat you right, you can always help him or her to get to where you want him to be. There is nothing wrong with falling in love with someone of a lower status than you are.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
18 Apr 12
Definitely, love is not about richness and it should never be.
There is nothing wrong with falling in love with someone of a lower status than me. sadly, my parents do not think of it this way. I understand that they only want me to lead a better life and hope that i find some rich husband.
But i don't really agree with them. i don't think that a better life equate to richness.
and this has been causing me and my family quite some conflicts.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
27 Apr 12
i really hope that will happen. It has been slightly more than 5 years not but it's still the same with my parents
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
23 Apr 12
Well I really married down. My family has more money then my husbands family not by much. I'm more upper middle class and my husband is more like middle middle class here in the US. I've always had more money then my husband and more things that I could have then he has had. But when it comes to love money really doesn't matter and it isn't really a big deal.
Yeah we might be kind of poor with a 1 year old and another baby on the way but I rather it that way then be hand things so easily. My husband works really hard for my family and what we have. We went from my husband working at fast food place to my husband having an office job he got laid off in between then but hey we are better off now then we where before. We went from dirty poor not having our own place to having our own place. We don't own it just rent it but its better then nothing at all.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
27 Apr 12
Hi Shybear, i really admire your spirit and yes. With love, i believe you guys can overcome any odds.
How did your parents feel about your relationship? Did they give any comments?
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
27 Apr 12
I didn't ask them because it doesn't matter what they feel or think of my relationship with my husband. They like him and they don't care if me and my brothers marry someone that has more or less money then us because its about our happiness not about the money.
If they have anything to say I'm not going to listen of course because I'm not them and they are not me.
@TheCatLady (4691)
• Israel
15 Apr 12
Marry a hard working man and you will always eat. Money can be made and lost, but hard work will prevail.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
18 Apr 12
@ the cat lady,
You are real right. marry a hard working man and i don't have to worry about eating for he is hard-working and will be one who is able to take hardships. So what if the man is rich, most probably at my age, 90% of it comes from their parents, will they be able to take hardships together with me in the future? or will they run away at the first sign of trouble?
Hard work will prevail and there's nothing to worry about marrying someone who's not so rich, but one who is driven and hardworking!
@dazzledlady,
Totally agree with you , best to marry someone who is hardworking. i don't think those born with a golden spoon at birth will be as hardworking.
@dazzledlady (1618)
• Philippines
15 Apr 12
I also think that it is best to marry someone who knows hardwork that to a person with a golden spoon at birth. Like you said, money can be made and lost and for someone who was not born rich, he/she will alway be resourceful on how to make money. He/she can easily adapt to the changes compare to the rich one. Generally the rich do not know what it was like to always think of the next job to take to earn money to put food on the table.
@tkonlinevn (6438)
• Vietnam
19 May 12
I got married down, my friend. My parents didn't agree with my decision, of course. But then, they must accept because my explanations. In my situation, I love my husband because he was not the same his family members. I must says that my family and his family have many big different things. The most important is love and the man. You must be sure that your man is ready for both relationship.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
15 Apr 12
I don't think it is marrying down per say. Who says success is measured by how much money we have? I think success is having love, being a good person, and doing the right things in life.
I do not think love has any prejudice. Whether rich or poor, black or white, pretty or ugly. Love captures us with absolutely no prejudice.
My family when I met my husband was pretty well off and my husbands family was very poor. That made no difference to me. I was in love with him and did not care who.liked it and who did not.
If you are old enough to make your own decisions you should choose who you love and be happy with YOUR choice. My family tried setting me up with others and they just were not my choice. I have never loved any man the way I love my husband. We might not have loads of money but we have loads of success in love and to me that is what REALLY matters in life. Money will come and go, our love will always be there...
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
18 Apr 12
Definitely, who says success is measure by the amount of money we have. for me, i think it's how happy we are in life. It's really no use if we spend the whole day in the office and have no leisure time. What's the point.
Whether rich or poor, there is no difference when it comes to love.
I really am envious of you, also really happy for you that you persisted and choose to marry your husband. you are right, it's mine choice and it is important that i know what is the most important thing to me. Money is really not the most important thing.
However, my parents really think otherwise. Although your parents tried setting you up with other, do they accept your boyfriend during the early years? mine is a very extreme case, Even until now, 5 years into our relationship, my parents are still very against my boyfriend and they dont' talk about him, neither can he come to my house. I'm getting tired of all these.
really would like to know more about how you dealt with your parents :)
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
18 Apr 12
The problem is how can you be sure that he loves you.
Actually sometimes i get a little worried because i'm afriad that i'll make the wrong choice. But the problem is i'll never know and cannot be sure taht i'll definitely make the correct choice.
Life is all about gambling.
