rude or not rude that is the question...again!

That is bizarre. To have the same house rule in her home and not to abide by it in someone's elses home. That shows a lack of respect. How rude! I wouldn't want her back in the house. And she can act any way she wants. I think it is really weird that she has this very rule about her home and yet laughs when she is asked to do the same thing. I sure don't need someone like that in my home.

I agree with everyone here! Your house is your home and 'your territory' and a guest (relative or not) has to respect that! If a guest doesn't, than they should stay away! However, you should talk to her and see how she reacts to it. If she still isn't willed to come back to your house and to take her shoes off accept that and visit her in the future if you still want to keep contact with her. My ex-partners sister was the same, she came into our house and refused to take her shoes off (I kept everything spotless clean in that house and our carpet had never seen the sole of a shoe). But she refused and her high heels left a few marks on the carpet by ripping slightly into the material. I had a discussion with her that I don't won't her to come back into our house unless she would take her shoes off. She still refused and we agreed that she would never come to our place again but started to visit her home instead. After a year or so she came to me and asked if he and husband could come back to our place sometime as she has realised that she was in the wrong (after she had a new carpet herself). She did took her shoes of from then on...

You aren't wrong at all. And I understand the situation quite well. I love my sister too but we have had similar tiffs. It's a lot better now since both of us have learnt to handle it without too much aggression. But a couple of years ago, I had to ask her to leave our home because she disrespected something we said. She has changed a lot since then and I've learnt to ignore her irritations especially when we are visiting our parents together.

Nope, you aren't out of line at all. She's in the wrong.

You said you love your sister. I don't know if she feels the same but I would assume she does, like other sisters. She might not be sensitive or considerate when she did the way she liked even if she had been advised. When she did it differently when in her own house, it was double standard and she gives me an impression that she is rather selfish. But, still, those are just trivial stuff and it is not worthy of a spat which may make your relationship with her to become worse. I treasure all my siblings and relatives but for some who I am not really close with, I will always keep a distance respectively. I will only meet them on special occasions when it is the family gathering time. So we will still be able to remain in good terms as we don't really have the time to find our differences.

No you are definitely not out of line. If you respect her house rules and take your shoes of when you go to her then she should do the same. You are in the right and she should really apologize because that was quite rude of her.

I've never has such quarrells with anyone who came to our flat as a guest, but I think it's evident that if you visit someone as a guest, you respect their traditions, their rules and their requests... especially if you expect the same things. It's so bad that your sister doesn't see it. I hope she doesn't play the offended for long ans comes to her right mind.

You are on the right side. Respect should always be there, even though how much close we are with the people around us, whether they are our best friend, husband or wife, sisters or even with our parents. With your situation, your sister should have followed with your house rule of taking their shoes off before entering the house. Our homes are our own private place, so we have the right to impose our own rules. You can have a talk with her in a nice, warm and calm manner regarding this issue so that she would be aware of what she did.

Your sister was not following the house rules and that was disrespectful.If this continues than i suggest having a private talk with her just you and her and explain to her why you want your carpets to be nice and clean and what the house rules are for your home.Tell her that you would follow her rules when you come to her house and that she should do the same for your home.You weren't being out of line at all she was being disrespectful.