How can I tell him?
By Madona1
@Madona1 (2096)
Gibraltar
April 15, 2012 4:17pm CST
Two months ago, one of my new colleagues asked me if I was single or married. I lied to him that I was married (indeed I have separated for 6 months.). The reason was simple as I was not ready to publish my separation yet. Obviously I didn't have confident to start a new relationship either.
After two months working with him, I find him very attractive. He is a down to earth person and a very funny guy. I don't know how to let him know the true of me. Since I am a traditional woman, I don't feel right I am the one to ask him out.
So how can I let him know I have separated? And idea? Many thanks in advance.
3 people like this
13 responses
@sinnedsejatnom (1311)
• Philippines
15 Apr 12
Just insert it in your normal conversation or try to swing your conversation to your relationship status. Then, you should be telling him that time so as not to confuse him. I don't know what this separation means (if marriage separation or non-marriage separation) but if this actual marriage separation, then you better get a divorce with your husband so that legally, you can be with that man, hopefully in the future.
2 people like this
@Madona1 (2096)
• Gibraltar
16 Apr 12
Hello there, unfortunately it is marriage separation and I have to wait for 2 years to request the divorce. But I have got legal separation, so it shouldn't be a problem. The issue is I am not 100% ready to start a new relationship, but on the other hand, I worry to miss this chance.......
1 person likes this
@sinnedsejatnom (1311)
• Philippines
17 Apr 12
I think it would be better not to rush things if you are not ready yet. And maybe you could tell it to him so that both of you are on the same page.
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
16 Apr 12
Hi Modona, order yourself some flowers to be delivered
to you at your job...when asked what they are for just
smile and say to make my life a lot better today and days
to come...asked him if he wants to contribute to your
"fell better life{,,,by going out with you.......then be very honest
with him.....
1 person likes this
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
16 Apr 12
Thanks for the compliment, but you have already created drama
when you lied in the beginning, Funny you came up with name "drama queen"
thats why honesty is the best policy from th beginning...because one never know what tomorrow might bring....like interest that was not initital there!!!!!!
1 person likes this
@r0ck_r0ck (1952)
• India
16 Apr 12
I believe you should let go off the traditionalism and ask him out, i mean you are working already that is a huge step for a traditional woman if you ask me. So if you really love him and want to be with him ask him out there is nothing wrong in you making the first move, Don't wait things to happen on their own, make em happen!
1 person likes this
@Madona1 (2096)
• Gibraltar
16 Apr 12
Hello both, thanks for your kind advice. Following the separation, I have lost my confidence and cannot believe so soon already has someone fancy me. Your advice makes my day and regain my confidence. I just feel like going ahead and telling him the true.
1 person likes this
@tashh23 (115)
•
16 Apr 12
I also agree with @r0ck_r0ck as well, as my first comment, about being traditional! I understand not wanting to make the first move, but if you really think you guys would get along good and develope a good friendship or even a relationship, it's worth going for. Don't let that opportunity pass you by. It could be something really good! Just be open and honest with him and he'll appreciate that. If you tell him that you just weren't sure if you were ready to let people know about your seperation until he got you thinking that you want a chance to get to know each other. Show him that you can be a confident woman that knows what she wants. Remember, confidence is sexy in a woman. You should deffinitly go for it!! Good luck, wish you all the best!
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
16 Apr 12
The next time you have an opportunity to converse with him, ask him if he's in any relationship. Then you could take it from there and be honest. You don't have to ask him out first. He could take a hint if he's interested in you too.
1 person likes this
@polilablowe (21)
• Singapore
16 Apr 12
You should tell him the truth if you are interested in furthering the relationship with him. That would be the foundation of your relationship if he still feels the same way as 2mos ago. You should also be ready to accept it if he has moved on and dated other ladies.
1 person likes this
@Madona1 (2096)
• Gibraltar
16 Apr 12
Well, I know many people will move on their life quick and find love easily. That is why now I want to tell him the true in order not to let the 'destiny' slip through my net.......Thanks for preparing me, if he has found someone else, I will accept it and won't regret much. Because I believe that destiny, if the destiny is mine will be mine.
1 person likes this
@superbadx (484)
• Malaysia
16 Apr 12
Well, this is a very simple situation, and very simple to be solve too. All you have to do is tell him that you're actually single but you lie at the first time and maybe say sorry, but don't ask him out yet. Since if you tell him that you are single now and not before makes him think that you are also interested and if he's man enough, he will make his move. And when that time comes, you will have to tell him about why you lied in the first place and why you decide to tell him now.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
15 Apr 12
Just tell him the truth. Tell him that you are separated now, and that you just separated. Or you can also tell him that you wanted to wait to get into a relationship with him till you got to know him better, and so you did not make your separation public to ANYONE outside of your immediate family, and that the answer you gave to him was the answer you'd have given to anyone.
1 person likes this
@Madona1 (2096)
• Gibraltar
16 Apr 12
Thanks for sharing your view. After the fully consideration, I want to get into a relationship with him to know him better. There is no guarantee for anything, which means who knows how long my new relationship with him will last. But at least, I give myself and him a chance.
As you said, I don't want to make my separation public. The only reason is I don't want this becomes a gossip in my company. I rather date someone outside the work. But destiny doesn't work like this. Now I fall into someone at work......
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Apr 12
h Madona I h ave always found the truth to be the best way to go if you really like y our new colleague as other mylotters have said.so tell him why and that I are now separated and finding yourself
ready to meet someone new.I think he will understand and who knows maybe this guy is Mr right for you;just tell him and explain why you said you were married. g reat guys will understand.
@alberello (4752)
• Italy
16 Apr 12
Well my dear friend, you know my preferences male, so maybe I'm not sure I can give you a right advice on what to do. However, I think that this person, see in you, a woman very attractive and charming. Perhaps you are afraid that he take this the wrong that you're divorced? Well this varies from person to person.
@boboskull (49)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
16 Apr 12
well, if he really is a down to earth person, you can explain everything to him and be honest and I think he will understand...
I`m from Croatia (South Europe) and here it is normal if a girl asks a boy out...
In fact, my ex-girlfriend asked me out first.. :)
1 person likes this
@shekinahmia (233)
• Philippines
16 Apr 12
If I were you, I'd be honest with him especially regarding your current relationship status. Being traditional is good, but sometimes, you have to go out of your comfort zone. Gather up all your confidence and tell him about it. Good luck!
1 person likes this
