Playing hard to get can be uncool if it is overdone

@Aja103654 (5644)
Philippines
April 15, 2012 11:07pm CST
It can be cool in some situations, but like everything else, it should be applied at a certain time. If one overdoes playing hard to get, then there's a big possibility that this will make you lose the game. My boyfriend and I have talked about things and this is one of the topics that we got into. He said that girls who play hard to get can be annoying. It can be exciting sometimes, but not all the time. For example. There's this guy who likes this girl. Then the girl notices that this guy likes her, but without real confirmation from the guy. Then she starts playing hard to get. It works on some guys. However, girls must remember that being open can be good too. If you want a guy to keep chasing you, you have to show him you are open(that is if you are interested in this guy too) If you keep running away from him, then he might never catch you. That is only good if you detest this guy, LOL. But if you like him too, show him that you are interested but be a little discreet. That makes things interesting for him. If you notice that he is getting tired, stop running and go back to him, give him hope, then when he is alright again, start running again. That will make him crazy. I'm not saying I'm an expert but this is only my opinion, you can agree or disagree with me. I don't mind, you formulate your own strategies or do whatever you want, don't hate me for it. Some boys... okay, maybe a lot of boys would hate me for this but it is one of the ways a girl can determine if this guy really likes her, like enough for her to know what he is worth. It is also important that the guy doesn't behave like a puppy, because that can mean he doesn't respect himself enough. A guy can chase a girl and still be cool. I think it's only natural for boys to chase girls. It shouldn't be the other way around. However, a girl can show her interest and keep herself open for a guy she likes, she doesn't really have to chase the guy desperately, that would make her seem easy. hehe
3 responses
@jemzchix (116)
• Philippines
16 Apr 12
i really think that it is a vital role for the girls to play hard to get sometimes. Because it's one way of knowing if the guy would really work hard to gain the trust he is asking for the girl. also, nowadays, getting a serious relationship can be really hard, with the kind of lifestyle almost everyone possess, trustworthiness and honesty is a very critical aspect that should be considered before entering into a relationship. it is a need for partners to constantly double check on each other just to know if everything's still the same and working well.
• United States
16 Apr 12
I really do not understand the logic behind playing games to gain trust and see whether or not the person is really interested in you. I would think that playing games with a guy would actually attract more guys that are also into playing games than it would attract sincere and honest guys. There are guys that like the games, because it is just that - a game. The harder he has to work the more interested he is ... right up until he gets what he wants, and then the game loses interest for him, because he has already "won". Then he moves on to the next "player". If you want honesty and sincerity, then I would think that is what you should give as well.
@babyEj (1522)
• Philippines
16 Apr 12
True! Making 'it' SOMETIMES adds spicy to the ongoing feeling you both have. And it doesn't apply only on boyfriends and girlfriends. In marriage, couple does it to increase the foundation of what they already have, it sometimes becomes a test on how they really know each other.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
17 Apr 12
You have a point there, purple. This is why I think that girls should know the kind of guy who is interested in them and should figure out ways to make that guy more interested in them. Purple, i don't think it is all just a game. Not a cruel game, but it's fun and interesting like a game. In this case, it's also important for the girl to make sure that no feelings are hurt in the process. If someone gets hurt, then that is surely a sign that it is overdone and it should be toned down or eliminated.
@reco13 (605)
• Philippines
16 Apr 12
Being hard to get is one of the typical characteristics a Filipina has. I agree that sometimes, we girls, have to do this to test a man's seriousness in courting. It should be, however, made in an appropriate manner.
@babyEj (1522)
• Philippines
16 Apr 12
Appropriate hmmmm..??? such as don't play hard to get if you don't have any interest to the guy...
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
17 Apr 12
yeah. it should be done in a way that would not let the guy feel discouraged to chase you, especially when you like him in the first place. XD
@babyEj (1522)
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Or not let him chase you anymore because she doesn't have any interest with the guy. So she should say it straight to the guy.
• United States
16 Apr 12
I do not think that a guy or girl should be "playing games" if they want a real and lasting relationship with someone. Of course, there are definitely guys and girls that like to play these games, and it can be fun while it lasts, but sometimes they do not understand why they never have any "real" relationships and yet they are not "real" themselves. I understand you said that you should also be "open", but when you switch from playing games to being "open", then I think that sends mixed messages - no wonder guys tend to be so confused by women. I think that if you are looking for someone that is honest and sincere, then you should be honest and sincere as well ... we get back what we put out. Of course, everything does not need to be all serious and down-to-earth, because that would just be boring. That being said, I think that there is a difference between "playing games" and "flirting". Flirting can have the same effect as "playing games", but it is a more honest and direct approach, in my opinion.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
17 Apr 12
Playing hard to get and flirting seem the same to me. at least when I apply them, they are almost similar. Each woman has her own style that she needs to develop. Only she would know how to find the perfect man for her... though having someone, a friend, a guardian, to help her is important too. Just that, one has to know the man you want to attract before doing anything else. one strategy may work to one man and won't work on another. So women really have to be adaptive, observant and sensitive in analysing the guy's feelings.