Miscommunication

Your friend should better wake up from sleeping for two years over that kind of attitude of her partner. If she would still live with a man like that, she will end up like a rag. She has to give him an ultimatum to reform lest she leaves him! But the question is, can she bear the separation, because the way i see it , she cannot.

I can't agree with you more. I don't like such kind of relationship at all. I think it is the most important to find a way to solve the problem.

hi, they said that a relationship is not healthy when they never fight,and most of the problem in a relationship is always misunderstanding or miscommunication to each other,i think i can stand for that because when you really love your partner you endure all of that.

I wouldn't. If I feel that my boyfriend is a chauvinist, and wants to dominate the relationship in a manner which was even outdated 100 years ago (that the man is the king, the woman has to shut up, she can't think because she must be stupid and her place is in the kitchen), I would tell him that I want to have a proper relationship, where I'm treated as an equal partner, not as a servant and I'd leave. I wouldn't bare this for too long.

I would have to agree with you about the fact that she has to be respected but at the same time, someone will only treat you how you let them treat you. If she wants respect then she needs to put her foot down and let him know, the way he treats and talks to her is not ok but she also has to stand her ground and give the same respect that she is asking for.

It is easy to respond "quit the relationship" if it is not healthy anymore but when you are on the situation,it's a little bit difficult. It is even harder if you really love the person even if he/she is making you so stupid. A good communication between the two is needed and let them decide what is best for their relationship. Better discuss misunderstood things than regretting your actions later without thinking it million times.

I think most probably your friend should have a talk with her boyfriend when he is in good mood. There is something, which I watched in a television comedy serial in which the family always says that we need a talk and most times the other person needs to keep quiet and listen and only to talk after 10 minutes. I think most probably when the feelings are given out the other people will understand it and also your friend need to ask what can be done to solve such kind of things be happening with your friend's boyfriend.

i don't think i'll e ale to handle this kind of relationship. my boyfriend and i argue too but it doesn't even last a long time, and then we just make up. he has never called me stupid or whatever or even yelled at me and the fact that we have been together for almost 8 years now, i haven't even heard him curse yet. if that happens to me, i would probably be shocked if my boyfriend calls me stupid for the first time. i mean we don't have a perfect relationship but fighting a lot like that and calling names would be too much for me to handle.

Hello toniganzon, I think your friend is not right in letting her boyfriend dominate her. She needs to stand for herself. She should not let him blame her for every little thing. I strongly feel that your friend should communicate with her boyfriend and let him know that she doesn't like being called stupid and being blamed for every fight. As about me, I certainly would not be able to stand this kind of relationship. I would either try to sought things between us or would simply part my way from him.

Might be your friend is stupid in the eyes of her boyfriend. Men and women are different. In the beginning you are blind, in love, you give in at everything. At a certain point you have to set the rules. What will you accept? What not? When will you give in? What is too important for you as a person/individual not to? Some set the rules by talking about it, others have to fight about it and show how strong they are (and also showing this is a way to get respect, if you give up, no respect at all). If it comes to this it's normal behaviour, animals do exactly the same. If your friend doesn't like it she can always leave. Since she doesn't and is only complaining with you, it's nothing to take serious. If she is not able to take the steps necessary to make her happy, she is not ready for it, not asking for respect at all. How can anyone respect her if she is not even respecting (taking herself serious) at all?

How to call someone that you love "stupid"? When the word is out, is there still any of the emotions that bring them together? I don't know. Maybe they have been used to such a way of communication, having been together for more than 2 years. Is it a case of "to love you is to to hurt you"? It is sad. They must sit down and talk. They must make sure that their togetherness is for a happy life. If it is not, it is better to find a way that at least no one will be unhappy.

Me and my boyfriend had a rough relationship in our first few years and we even broke up on our 7th year. We argued a lot but we managed to talk about it by the end of the day. We won't sleep until it's fixed. Although I'm the one dominating our relationship, he managed to be patient with me although there are times that he can't handle. He's the one who says sorry most of the time even if it's my fault coz I don't like to say sorry at all. I always make a big deal out of everything. I broke up with him on our 7th year, a month after our anniversary. He didn't want to but I insisted and he can't do anything about it. He moved away. It was the longest break-up we ever had. He was away for 4 months. I then realized that I still loved him and he constantly calls or texts me that he still love me too. He came back and we were together once again. I managed to change my bad habit, a habit of creating a big mess in our relationship not thru cheating but by making a big deal out of everything. My bf and your friend are exactly alike. Your friend's bf and I are unfortunately alike as well. I know it's hard for your friend to do what my bf did but she just have to be patient and be hopeful that he'll change for the better. As long as no one's cheating, I'm sure they can handle it. Indeed, patience is a virtue :) Now we are on our 9th year and we are no longer arguing over small things. He's happy as well since I have changed as what I have promised him before we were back together. I told him I won't let him down again. I'm just happy that he was able to stand all that. I just hope that your friend's bf will realize your friend's worth.

I agree with you that your friend needs to be respected. She has to practice her assertiveness towards her boyfriend and her rights as a woman. It's not all the time that the boyfriend is always right, I'm pretty much sure of that. I just hope and pray that your friend would have the confidence to confront her boyfriend about this. I'm sure she's getting hurt by the minute.