Would you choose to adopt, or not?

Dear Ms Bingskee Great discussion as ever The idea of surrogate moms doesnt seem to be appealing to me as of the costs involved, and also the legal angles - we have read about many cases where the surrogate mom wanted extra perks and facilities (even immigration and visa) to the country whose baby she delivered. - So this is more messy. Earlier, adoption from a foster home was great but now that we have knowledge of DNA, genetics and also the fact that most of the children here are results of some mishaps - things are not so easy if one has to opt for this. I would prefer to go for a IVF thing if et all there are chances (as this too depends on biological factors). The advantage here, though is that we might find out some history of the donors. If it fails, then definitely the only place left is the local orphanage. But as you know it is a joint decision (between me and wife) this is only my view.

I am always pro to adoption. If you believe you could be a good parent then I suggest for adoption. There are a lot of children out there who do not have parents. And it is not their fault. They do not deserve to be in a situation where they hunger for that sense of belonging, of feeling wanted. I know some would still prefer having their own genes to raise but come on... do the world a favor. If you cant have a child, adopt someone that they may find a family in this cruel society. I pity those who are on an orphanage, they are young but they have to be an adult at an early stage to take care of themselves. But of course it is a personal choice. Why do you want to have a child in the first place? If you know the answer to that question then I guess you know what option will be good for you and your family. I also do not want parents to adopt a child and later regret it, it would be hurtful for both parties.

If i weren't blessed with a child maybe i would have to adopt. I would choose someone from my relatives. That's the only option i could think of.

Well, I do have two children of my own. But if it were that I could not have had kids with the ex, then I know for a fact that we would have considered adoption. After all, there are many children in this world that do not have a home or parents to love and care for them. So, adoption would be the best way to go.

Growing up in a developing country, I had this idea that if each financially capable family/couple could just adopt one child, then our country would eventually develop faster and more people would be less miserable. When I became a mother myself, I had more questions to myself now. What dynamics would there be between my blood children and adoptive children. It would be hard. I am sure there will be at some point some kind of favoritism if not with us as parents, but maybe with other family members -- grandparents, aunts and uncles etc. Anyway, answering your question about the best option for couples who are not capable of having their own children naturally -- I think this depends on two main factors -- finances and medical possibilities. I think financially it would be cheaper to go for adoption than go through IVF or even go for surrogacy as this involves medical intervention.

I would also say that one should go for adoption if couples can't have babies. If we can keep pets and treat them nice like our babies then why not for human kids for adoption?? Humans deserve more love and care when you compare pets if I see it that way. Go for adoption and get blessed because it is a good deed. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.

i absolutely would have no problem adopting a child. my hubby's sister and brother in law have adopted two little girls from China that were unwanted and placed in orphanages. if i could afford to do so, i would do the same.

I come to this discussion from a different angle of perspective, so I hope you don't mind that. My husband and I decided long ago not to have kids at all, but I'd like to put my opinion out there on the adoption aspect. I was adopted myself. My parents could have children, as emphasized by my older brother, but my mother had been friends with a girl who was unwed and pregnant in the 70s and chose to give her child up for adoption, and that experience caused my mom to want to adopt, if only to lessen the homeless child population by one. Adopting does have its cons, of course. The process was grueling for my parents, and they had originally tried to adopt from Honduras. After months of waiting, they were told the young mother wanted to keep the child, so they were put back on the list, and ended up getting me some time later. The other risky thing with adoption is that I don't know my medical history. At this point, I am 23 and have known my birth family for the past five years and we keep in touch, but it's just a case that my birth family is terrible at keeping records. For those who never are put into contact with their birth family for whatever reason, this is something you simply have to accept. You take health risks as they come, I suppose. Last but not least, anyone who thinks as the one woman in your group did about "there is no replacing your true child" should not adopt. People like that cannot possibly imagine what it is like to consider people who are not blood related family, and although it is a shame for them, it is a beautiful prospect for those who have seen it. My father, who is half Syrian and half Italian, looks nothing like me with my pale skin and red hair, but we couldn't have a stronger father/daughter connection. We're business partners, vacation buddies, and we go out often, which has been great for him since his biological "true child" is nearing thirty still without a job and a future, and he still has to live through that disappointment. If my father had thought the way that woman in your group had, there could be no strong connection like we have now. Children in foster care deserve to have parents who can accept them for who they are, health risks, physical appearance differences, and all; people who cannot accept a child fully should not consider adoption at all.

i must say that the children complete a home and they bring so much happiness to every parents. but not all can be blessed with children so if i will be in that situation i will choose to adopt a child but i want it from our distant relative. or if i can't adopt a child from our family, i will just help my sibling's child in their financial expenses like their education.

Thankly God give me a very nice son. And im happy with it. I think that would depend from the couple on what ways they will choose to adopt a child. They have to talk thoroughly and think several times. I know the feeling of being adopted coz i am one. The adopted parents are should be ready on what responsibilities and posibilities will happen in the future. They should be open minded and must treat it as their own.

I wonder how the laws in your country are and what you know about adoption. Adoption over here is hard. You have to be under a certain age, will be screened for a long time, you can not adopt a child from every country you like, you have to be rich, high educatated and by now you can NOT adopt a healthy child anymore. All kids are SN (special needs). So it will even cost you more money and a lot of energy, pain, sadness if you adopt. So the number of adopted children in my country is only increasing. It's seldom a couple is not capable, mostly it's only one of them so I would go for an other solution. And if it comes to adoption I would try a foster child first or see if I could adopt in an other way. I think I would order some sperm online from Scandanavia, seems they are the biggest delivery, go world wide and you can do it yourself. Since I have children of my own and also foster children I can tell you there is no difference between own and the kids of an other. The difference exist in your head. If you feel it that way it's good not to adopt at all. You won't make a great parent if you do.

In my opinion, every couple want to their real child who is born from theirs. If they have enough economical base, they would like to rear numbers what they want. As many as children, you will get as much as gain and enjoyment.In social society, family is your big power and support, we can find some interesting and happiness from there.And history continued come with new generation and then next generation keep go on.If one couple is incapable of producing their own baby,they first choise should select science and medicine way to help get a real baby.Because this is not charity and moral, it refer to their real feeling about proud and blood extension.So this is critical band between your relative and home honour.Above all action isnot work,you just to the alternative way.

If I couldn't have a child myself, I'd adopt one (of course if my future husband agrees with me :D), I guess I would adopt one from a foster home or somehow from the government. At least I could save a kid's life then. But if I could, I may be greedy, but I'd like to have my own.

If i can make one, I wouldn't, because God has given me the gift to procreate. If i can't, it is a choice between me and my partner. But i think adoption is a noble act. It is sharing your love, showing your care and providing shelter to less fortunate kids.:)

This is such an individual question. I am sure if you ask someone who was adopted about it - they would see it as a very viable option. My daddy adopted me as a matter of fact. It's interesting that I spent nearly half of my life mourning the "father" who abandoned me and then realized that I was accepted and loved - not by a person who kind of "got stuck" with whoever was born to him but chosen by someone who decided I was worth the jouney!