I can't communicate with my old friends any more..
By besweet
@besweet (9859)
Ireland
April 18, 2012 4:57am CST
I was away from my home studying for a few years. Now I came back to the city that I grew up, and I found my old best friends but they have changed a lot. We were talking and visiting each other regularly while I was away but now that I'm here everyday I feel that they are so different.
We don't have the same interests any more and although I feel close to them, sometimes I just can't follow them. They always talk about fashion, hair and shoes and most of the times I'm bored!
On the other hand, the girls and my family are the only ones that I know over here. Sometimes I think that maybe it's me that has changed and I should adapt to the new environment since I am planning to stay here permanently. What should I do?
6 responses
@ShadowSky (221)
• Bulgaria
22 Apr 12
I understand the feeling.I moved to a new city 5 years ago and at first we talked every day but with time we grew apart and it was a smooth transition.I didn't even notice how much my friends have changes until it was too late and our relationship has been destroyed completely.I still miss them and I just wanted to advise you to try and give your friendship a chance because friends are important and I'll always be sorry that I lost mine and I just don't want you to repeat my mistake.Still,don't ever change yourself because of other people and if you discover that you and your friends are too different just go your separate ways because being yourself is better than forcing yourself to change for other people.
1 person likes this
@soulist (2985)
• United States
22 Apr 12
The same thing basically happened with me. Not only did I move to a new city, but my best friend also got married and had a child. We just grew apart as our lives took different directions. I miss her dearly and wish things were different sometimes, but I have made wonderful friends in the city that don't want me to change for anything.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
22 Apr 12
Thank you so much for your advice Shadowsky. This is exactly how I feel and I'm afraid that I will regret it if I lose them. Moving back here was a big step for me and I am still trying to adapt with the different lifestyle, I hope that everything will be better with time.
Soulist, it's true when people have different priorities in life for example one is starting a family and the other is focused on the career it's more difficult to maintain friendship. Thank you for your response!
@ShadowSky (221)
• Bulgaria
26 Apr 12
Soulist,I feel the exact same way as you,and it's true that I regret it but I feel like losing the pressure of a friendship going wrong somehow set me free and besweet,I hope everything works out the best way possible! :)
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
7 May 12
People change with times and places. I have found that I am now different from what I used to be and so are my friends. Our interests may vary as well. So it seems that we need to make some adjustment to our environment. Thanks for your discussion, besweet.
1 person likes this
@soulist (2985)
• United States
22 Apr 12
I was thinking the same thing. I have many friends from my past that I would enjoy talking to again, but it is hard to start a conversation with them or even hold on to one as you said. I met up with an old friend a few months ago and while she said it was like old times, it wasn't. It felt awkward and strange.
Maybe you could hone on some of the things that you do have interests in and possibly make some friends within those interests. Or when they begin to talk fashion and things ask if they could change the subject to something other than fashion, shoes, and things like that.
1 person likes this
@KOSTAS499 (1624)
• Greece
25 Apr 12
Your studies brought you to a new level, that's why you are bored. You have seen and experienced a lot of new things since you met your friends. You should find new friends through your new interests. Also, a good friend is a friend that is there in bad times.
1 person likes this
@thuglove1722 (343)
• United States
18 Apr 12
you should try to meet in the middle with your friends if your both willing other then that then not too sure
@superbadx (484)
• Malaysia
18 Apr 12
That is pretty normal for me. Because i pretty much get a new friends to hang out with every year while i was in school. I have some friends who study in different and their school is far away from mine, and when they come back, they didn't even recognize me at all, what they just did was smile and walk pass. Maybe because of the changes we had since our last time seeing each other or something. As for your case, i think you should adapt to this kind of things. This is very normal and because you are going to stay there permanently.
1 person likes this
