Easy but not that easy

It's hard to forgive and we can never really forget... We can easily say we've forgiven someone but we can't simply do that with our memory. It would just echo in oir head every now and then, it's a grace that we'd be able to forgive because it's very unhuman to forgive. It's our instict to avenge but with grace we can forgive. :) My expeeience for forgiveness is for that someone who bullied me in highschool. He irritates me during highschool, and he seems to be the only one who has got the nerve to say unpleasant things to me, and he really humiliated me for several times during highschool. I didm't retaliate for fear for gerting my named stained with a silly fight. I have to protect my name (lol). Until I went to college I hated that man! I even thought of hiring an assassin haha to kill him. Then the idea of forgiveness came to me. I said yeah, I'll just forgive him and forget about what that man did years ago, but when we had a reunion for highschool batch, wow! I seem to be so aloft, and everything was just refreshed in my mind. And just when I thought I've get over the bully issue, I was caughht off guard. I haven't really forgiven him, that time, I could easily pick a fight with him, because i don't need any scholarship anymore, no ranking in school whatsoever, but then again Ai refrained.... And the thought of unforgiveness is still in me. Until, i decided to really forgive. By His grace, I was able to do it. I knew I was able to forgive, when I saw him, and I greeted him. I just smiled and I don't know what happened coz there's no pain anymore. No angst. I said to myself, now that's forgiveness, I no longer hate that man, and there's really no ill feeling every time I see him when I get back home. As to a spouse, I am nit yet married. But as I've always told my siblings and friends, one thing I couldn't accept or can't imagine to accept is "cheating"...I said, I might kill the guy (my wife's paramour) and I'll have a separation or if possble, Annulment...hehe in other words, I don't think I can forgive her... Just can't...

Well, it is hard especially if the fear of being hurt again is there.. when it comes to cheating, it all depends on what kind that person is, sometimes it is hard to tell if he will cheat again or not.. but one way or another i guess we do have to forgive and forget for us to be able to move on.

Hi toni Forgiving and forgetting are two completely different things. And in such cases, forgiving is quite easy but forgetting is nearly impossible. No depth of wounds can heal permanently as these are inner wounds and not something on the outside. As in medical world, inner wounds do not heal so do the wounds of the heart. You or anyone might forgive once twice or maybe thrice but then isnt there a limit to bear! To me, betrayal of trust and faith is the most gruesome crime anyone can do against me... and there will no no forgetting of this one. I might forgive for once.

I will forgive but will never forget it. How could we forget such thing? We should not forget as it can be a good lesson for us in the future. The forgiveness is there but forget it or no way if they want me to forget it~(^^)

I exprienced once in my life and I am trying to trust him. So far it goes well and I can feel he is really changing to care me more.I do believe if both take it seriously and try to cherish each other, it will be easier to recover.

hi if its something as serious as cheating ,i think it would be hard to forget, even though you forgave the person,i think once a person betrays you in this way i dont think you will ever trust them again .u may say that with your mouth ,but the reality of things is that you cant its something to difficult to accept.with me it will always be running through my mind.maybe after a long number of years its possible i a have no idea

hi, yes,its easy to tell that we already forgive them but deep inside of our heart its really difficult to forgive them on what they have done to us,my ex boyfriend cheated me when we were still partner,i cant really forgive him on what he did to me,until i decided that we need a cool off,after a year he came back and tried his best to forgive him,yes i said i forgive him but not 100 percent,i just gave hima 50 percent only.

Yes I agree with you. When someone cheating on us and beg for us to forgive then we must look on why all of this could happened and what cause it, overall I think it will be really hard for me to forgive and forget. I always rely on my feelings about something like this, and luckily my husband had never cheated on me, I hope never. I might have to forgive but I'll never forget.

Yeah, we can forgive but it is not easy to forget. Fore sure when our trust is broken, we will always remember it and make doubt after that. It is the way just we try to avoid hurting. However, when I said i forgive about somethings, I never remind about that things in my talk more even though i still remember it.

if someone tells me a wee lie to protect my feelings.. and it's just between me and them, and no 3rd party.. tahts fine. if they start lying to protect themselves, while they like go off with a 3rd party. thats not ok. for example, if you said to your partner, oh how did you get to the store. and they said oh i got a bus, but they had really got a taxi, and they lied because a taxi costs more and they know you are worried about money. thats fine. they are trying to protect your feelings and stop you worrying! but if you said, well, what'd you do today, did you go to the store, and your partner said oh just watched tv, nothing else. and then you find out they were at the shop but had been speaking to someone. THATS wrong. thats them lying to protect themselves!

I think a lot of people end up saying they forgiven someone, even when they totally haven't yet. Personally, in my religion you must forgive everyone before you die...kind of weird...yes. It is a hard thing for me to deal with as I have been hurt deeply by some people...I try to say that yes I do forgive them, but in reality, some days I am still as mad as when the event happened and wonder why I would forgive such an act!? It is difficult, and you will always have doubts...but eventually...you may accept the fact that it happened and there is nothing you could do about it...that is when I believe you have truly forgiven a person.

A broken trust is hard to manipulate, you will always have a doubt in your heart. By forgiving someone, forgetting what happened should come in hand. It is always hard, but keeping yourself in that negative vibe will only allow yourself and the relationship to dig deeper on the mud. Try to think of the happy times and the love that you are holding on.