Has he taken me for granted?

@Sanitary (3968)
Singapore
April 27, 2012 7:59pm CST
Recently my boyfriend has been addicted to a new show ever since he got to know about it. As he's overseas, he's unable to watch it directly and i've been trying different ways to get it for him. When i eventually got it for him, he's very happy and he appreciate my efforts. However due to my busy schedule, i can't afford to spend much time in downloading, uploading the videos for him. A few days later, he became grumpy, asking me why i took so long. I scolded him and he became sarcastic saying, it's fine if you don't want to upload, i'm not interested anymore I was so hurt when i heard that.. Besides, he's more anxious about those videos than me and it's been days since i had a proper chat with him. Much as he said that he misses me, i wonder what is he really missing. Me or the videos.. I'm just so disappointed
4 people like this
11 responses
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
29 Apr 12
Well, it does seem that he is more addicted to those videos at the moment. But that still does not mean he does not care about you. Since he is over seas, he might need something to get through the time. Maybe he does not like to spend time thinking and missing you. That could have an effect on someone. Stress, you know. SO maybe these videos calm him down. But I do understand where you're coming from also. If you don't have the time to download these videos then he just has to understand. But fighting is not the answer.
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
30 Apr 12
He doesn't understand, all he wants is more. The moment we chat on the phone, first thing he's asking is where are the new uploads.. Once or twice is alright but when he ignores me whenever i say not for the moment, is really hurting. He's a vocal person in expressing his love for me so that's not the main reason for the need of those videos.. I'm waiting for his return from his overseas trip, i just want a good talk with him...
1 person likes this
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
8 May 12
He's back, we will have a proper talk tomorrow.. Whichever way it goes, i don't dare to think about it.. Whether he meant is as a test or not, it has hurt me deeply even though i'm still loving him.. Am i really there for the taking and is he exploiting my love for him....
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
9 May 12
Well I do hope the talk goes well. And I would let him know that is he is testing you that he should not be doing that. You cannot play with peoples feelings. Either way it goes I believe you will end up on top. You are a smart attractive girl. You should have no worries.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
9 May 12
Wow, what show is that which makes him so anxious about it, to the extendo f almost ignoring u? He should be thankful when u are making efforts in finding those videos for him and he ought to understand u are working as well right? His actions seems to suggest that he's demanding for those videos instead of waiting patiently. Did u managed to talk to him properly? It's not right of him to do so to u, considering the fact u are doing it for his own interest at your expense
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
9 May 12
We just finished our talk.. All the answers i got left me more unsure than before..
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
29 Apr 12
Hi Sanitary! Maybe you're showing him too much care and attention that's why he became over confident about your love towards him thus challenging your patience...
1 person likes this
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
30 Apr 12
Too much love can kill? What did i kill? I'm not a patient person compared to him. He's always there for me while i'm the one unreasonable one at times. He has never done these to me and now when i'm in his shoes, i feel miserable and i miss him lots.. He's not one to treat others in the way he's being treated..
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
29 Apr 12
Get over it. This has nothing to do with taking you for granted. And if he is grumpy and says it's fine he doesn't need that serie anymore do NOT invest time in laying your hands on it at all. I think he just needs something to take his mind of and this way him being addicted to it will be over soon.
1 person likes this
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
30 Apr 12
I just can't accept it, what is that so important and addictive that he can cast me aside.. It hurts me so much when he doesn't appreciate my efforts in getting what he wants.. He isn't like this in the past..
@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
28 Apr 12
Chances are he misses you more but he also likes that video and he doesn't express himself very well. You know him better than any of us. Talk to him, take him slow, I you scold him he'll just crawl back into is shell may it be sarcasm or another thing and you won't get to he what he thinks or feels.
1 person likes this
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
30 Apr 12
He's a vocal person when it comes to expressing his feelings and i never have to guess. Right now, he's behaving so differently and i don't know why.. I won't scold him, we are adults, communication in a proper way is the best way to solve things..
• South Africa
29 Apr 12
So, if he had his laptop and he is able to download the show on his own, don't you think he would ignore you even more? I'm sorry, but I don't have time for someone that doesn't make time for me. I definitely do not stick around when my so-called boyfriend puts a TV show above me. I think it's time for you to re-evaluate the relationship. My advise is to date a man, not a boy.
1 person likes this
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
30 Apr 12
He's only like that when he's overseas now. When he's around with me, he's not like that at all. What causes the change in him is my main concern.. I won't date a boy either, but now has he gone back to his boyish days after being tired of being a man?
• Philippines
28 Apr 12
I definitely understand your situation because it also happened to me. My girlfriend now is also addicted to this online game in Facebook called Age of Titans and it hurts because I always give time for her but whenever I asked for her time she just completely ignore me, my text, my calls, and so on. When we text she just send me few replies then she's gone without informing me. It is really hard and as for your experience I think your boyfriend is much more in to that video compare to you. Sometimes if we show too much love to someone, they tend to ignore us including the love and effort we showed to them. They'll just realize how important we are when we are gone. So just be patient and observe, if he keeps on ignoring you then tell him frankly.
1 person likes this
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
28 Apr 12
Yes, it's just like that. I'm facing the exact same situation. When he's on the show, he would ignore all calls, text and when he finally remembers me, he would say why, how come i didn't tell him this or that. When i said check his inbox, missed calls, he starts to act sarcastic again. Right now, i'm only his option, dropped many ranks down from his priority..
@yanzalong (18987)
• Indonesia
28 Apr 12
I am a man but I have never said something like that to my girlfriend. I hope he will change back to normal. I know how you feel about it.
1 person likes this
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
28 Apr 12
Your girlfriend is very lucky or perhaps you have not found something that can have your full attention yet. If u already found one and yet you don't find yourself telling that to your girlfriend, you are one of the few good man around.
@tiffnkeat (1673)
• Singapore
28 Apr 12
Hi San, Is it on the free-to-air channels like 5, 8, U or Okto? Have you tried the catch up on TV on mediacorp's website? why not invest in a HD recorder with a scheduled timer in-built into it so that recording will start even when you are not at home? What show is it? I am curious. Trust me, guys can be quite unreasonable it our demands on gf/wife sometimes. I guess there are ways he tolerate you as well, so it is a matter of compromise. Don't be disappointed and don't let the sun go down on your anger. Smile more. To facilitate chatting something you want, why not chat about the show and slowly distract him into your main discussion topic and see if it works? Take care, fellow citizen!!!
1 person likes this
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
28 Apr 12
It's not a free to air show, it's a show from taiwan. His laptop is down and he can't get direct access. That's how i have to download it for him and upload to his account in dailymotion. He told him he's busy, has not time to search for the show and that's where i offered to help him. In the end, he gets busier with the show. It's not that i don't want to chat about the show, i've not been watching right the start and it's only natural for me to ask when it comes to confusing parts. However, he told me not to ask him so much questions, he's trying to concentrate on the show..
@jinky2012 (438)
• Philippines
28 Apr 12
try to understand him.He is just really want to take or get special attention to you.anyway you told there that you are so busy with your work maybe he is just telling that because the really reason is misses you. Men don t really tell that can you give time for me? They don't tell that, instead they are making some ways to do that.
1 person likes this
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
30 Apr 12
I've tried my best in understanding him but he refuses to open up. WHen he's around, he's always sweet, loving and caring to me, but everything changes during the past month. I've always given him top priority regardless of my busy schedule. He's a vocal person when he professes his feelings for me, how much he misses me. ONly thing he doesn't share are his problems..
@TheHorse (220068)
• Walnut Creek, California
26 Feb 16
He sounds pretty young if videos are that important to him. Hopefully, the "argument" will pass.