How did we end up like this

Yeah that's the best thing you should do. Talking to him personally will end up all the whys and the worries. I hope he'll open up. Communication is really the best key for a successful relationship. Goodluck!

If he really loves me, he ought to share his problems with me right? Much as he doesn't want me to worry about him, but his sudden change in behavior is worrying me more. My answers lie in tomorrow when i finally get a proper chance to talk to him..

what happen to me and my bf? well after so many trials and so many problems that comes our way, we still end up marrying each other! He's my husband now!

ckyera I was like you before. I usually push my bf to other girls just to see what his reaction maybe or how he would handle such situations. It can be a trial for him on how he would hold on to our relationship. It's like testing him if he would give in to the idea of having relationship with others. Yes, couples sometimes need space for them both to breathe. sanitary I believe ckyera don't have have bf anymore. I mean, the one she's referring to with her story is just an ex now. She already have a husband for so may years now. People will come and go and you will know deep in your heart if he is the right person for you to live with the rest of your life...

If he needs space to breathe, he ought to tell me directly, and i would have given it to him.. But to gain breathing space via this method is too hurting.. Why would you do that that to your bf back then.. HAve you spare a thought for his feelings? What happened to you and your bf now? I'm waiting for the chance to talk to my bf, much as i love him, but i'm very disappointed and hurt...

I think scolding you is uncalled for specially when you love him so much. Your disappointment with his attitude is understandable. Let him come back and then you could talk to him face to face.

It hurts me because he doesn't appreciate what i'm doing for him, what hurts me most is he actually almost scolded me because of them.. I feel bad, disappointed.. I want to talk to him but there's no chance as long as he's still overseas. I still love him, i just want to know why is he doing all these to me..

He's back, we will have a proper talk tomorrow..

But why he has to do all that.. He has always been sweet to me and how can he use such a cruel way to break away from me. If he thinks it's the best for me, it's definitely not.. I don't dare to think if he's aware of what's he's doing.. With every apology he said to me, he meant it and i can feel his sincerity. But now this is way too much.. I still love him but why would he push me to another man....

@Lance, we have known each other about 10 years from being friends to couplehood. We know everything about each other and that's why we end up together.

Just wanna ask, how long you've been together? does he always vocal towards his feelings for you? You know your boyfriend more than us and it is very hard for us to judge him base on how you describe your current relationship. Pushing you to another man doesn't always follow he fell out of love already although out of the possible reasons I am thinking right now that could be the main thing. Then again, better to talk to him heart to heart.

It's just something to consider. You know how when someone tries to draw pity on them by saying degrading things about themselves and how incompetent they are, how they wouldn't be able to do anything right, or how people should just leave them etc? That would be one reason why he might be insecure. After all, I'd much rather choose him to be insecure than when he has actually found someone else. But what I'm saying is, if your bf is very, very, very insecure then that's why he would probably tell you that. If you think that he is not like tht, then it might be true that he no longer wants to be in the relationship and wants you to do the breaking up. I know it's hard. But if you feel like you can't confront him that easily for the time being, then you best put it out of your mind for now. I suggest you try because it can't hurt to try asking. You owe yourself to know the truth if he's having an affair, or just wants to enjoy singlehood. Especially since he's working abroad, it's not hard to be in the company of others that might distract him from what's going on between you right now. If you want to find out the truth, you must be very ready for his answer. You may like it, or you might not. It might not be what you expected. It might hurt you, it might cause you very much grief. Be sure that you are ready to face the possible truth.

I want the truth, but i'm scared to face the truth. Whatever he's going to say, i won't listen.. All i want is for him to come back, see him and hugs him tight. My heart is confused and i'm really scared of losing him.. By then, would he really take me for granted after all that he's done to me? He's not one to degrade himself, he's confident and he has that certain quality inside him. He can be a magnet for girls out there but he knows his responsibilities to me. Unless... he met his match out there....

Why would he feel insecure of himself when we are years into the relationship and have plans of marrying next year? from the moment i know him as a friend, he's always a responsible man, who's not afraid of expressing himself. Much as i want to confront him, i can't do that, he's overseas for work. I admit both of us had unhappy moments but it's just that few compared to happy moments. I want to have proper chat with him but i just can't wait. I feel so miserable now, guessing his actions against his words..

He's not in singapore right now. Everything is fine before he left and he has never left my side till his recent trip. Has he found his freedom when i'm not around and he's enjoying to the extend of being able to forget me..

Oh! Sorry to hear that. Why don't just ask him through phone calls or email? Tell him what you feel right now.

I do agree with you chicgale. @ sanitary the best way to do is to talk to him and discuss everything why a sudden change as you deserve to know what is happening to him. It is really hard to say if he had already found a new girl and thinking that stuff would just prolong your agony. Go talk to him and prepare yourself for the possible whatever the outcome. It's better to deal now than to suffer for a long a time.

I don't dare to face the truth. It's too hurting and whatever his answers, i'm already hurt. At the same time, i'm still very much in love with him. With him not by my side, it's not possible to have a good talk with him.. How did it change so fast in a month when we have been together for years, happy with each other, being so sweet to each other...

@Lance, i really don't know.. I don't want to make any decision till i have a proper talk with him...

I know it's hard to let go of someone you really love but doing that thing would give both yourself a favor and your boyfriend. That is, if the perception of most of the posters here serve them right.

His real feelings for me is true love. I'm sure this is not the way he wants to that me, but i don't understand why he's doing these to me.. He has always been good but why now....

Yes, you should talk to him personally and explained to him that the way he treated you lately is tearing you apart. And if he really means what he had said before that he is not the right guy for you, then he should set you free rather than pretending that he still cares for you.

He's back, we will have a proper talk tomorrow.. I'm scared because i'm not prepared to accept whatever his explanations are..

I'm waiting for the right time to talk to him, i don't want to talk over the phone, over sms. I want to see his reactions, expressions when he's talking..

Maybe he just want time to think things through and figure things out. If he really loves you, time will tell if you are meant for each other. Sometimes we have to have space for us to breathe and learn to live a life without them. If we realized we still loved them, then go and talk things through. It's good to talk when you have clear visions. If you really love them, tell them what you really feel. If the other one is not happy anymore, don't push it cause it will not be a happy ending... It's better to set them free if they are not happy anymore than to hurt yourselves more when being together.

We just finished our talk and it left me more unsure than before.. Instead of answers, i get more questions in my head.. Somehow i feel happy when he told me how he felt but at the same time, i feel hurt too.. Whether it's a happy ending or not, it's still open.. I can't think anymore

He needs space and he also don't want me to go? The things he's doing are directing me to leave him. Actions and words from him are so discouraging that makes me feel like my efforts in maintaining this relationship is in vain. He's back now, we will have a good talk tomorrow..

I want to sit him down as well but he's not around. I want to get a clear picture of what's going on. Till he answers me properly, i can only keep guessing. My heart is breaking, i'm too scared to find out those answers, yet i want them badly...

Expect the worst? What is the worst or which is worst? Being told in the face that he doesn't love me anymore, or he carries on his nonchalant attitude which is so unlike of him? Or should i prepare for him to tell me that he still loves me and everything he does is a test for me? All above are equally hurting.. I only believe in one thing, once past is over, it should remain in the past. You should not bother about your ex anymore if you don't love her. Neither should you have to tell your children what their mother has done, when they can make the decision on their own when they grow up.

I know the feeling very well. I have been there and I know first hand it hurts. But guess what, it does go away. What I always done all my life was to always expect the worst, so when I do find out and it's not that bad, then I don't feel that bad. Look, if he actually said that you need to find someone else, that might just very well be the answer to all your questions. But I know the feeling of not knowing. To this day I am still finding things out about my evil ex. She was one sneaky evil bit@h. I no longer feel the same for her. And I never will. It's just my children I feel for. You do not have that problem. If this is the end of your relationship, think of it as a lucky strike. Imagine having children with him and going through this. Much more painful. But look, you are a beautiful girl and will find someone in no time. Like I said in the last post you wrote, he should be luck to have you and anyone else would.

I tried to be there when he needs me but he doesn't want me. He chose something else to cheer himself up over me.. I'm not pushing either, i just want answer and i'm waiting for his return, to have proper talk...

He's not like that in the past, it's only til recent month, he becomes like that. I wanted to know what happen to him and he's back. I will have a good talk with him tomorrow..

I want to talk to him, but he's not interested to talk, at least for now. It should be easier when we are talking face to face, or will it be more awkward... I'm hurting because his actions disagrees with his words.. IF he changes, should i really hold on since if he can do it once, he can do it again?

By telling him, if something doesn't change soon, i will leave him? Is that considered a form of threat or warning? I've told him once before and he's not happy. He said love is about trust and patience, willing to accept strengths and weakness. Love is not about trying to change the other person. Respect is to be gain, earned and not demanded. That's what he told me in the past.. If i were to tell him that again, he would certainly lose all respect for me and leave me.. I'm waiting for the day he return, so that we can have a proper talk.. Whether things work out from there, only he has the answer..

I rather hear him say, it's all over. At least that gives a break clean instead of leaving me guessing his words against his actions.. I want to talk to him but i can't.. He's not around by my side and with distance being a factor, that makes me wonder even more.. What's he doing to do next and what happens when he's back.. Will he turn for the better or worse... I want to know, i don't want to know....

Have you ever stop your boyfriend or has your boyfriend ever stopped you? This is the first time it's happening and i don't know what to do. It comes as a shock to me for i've never imagine him saying all these to me... How can it be possible for him to find someone new when he's always been so loving, sweet to me? Is it really possible for him to fall in love with two different people at the same time? If i'm important to him, he should not even have the thought of wanting me to leave in the first place...

I agree with what you mentioned above but my boyfriend is not such a person. From the day i known him as a friend, he's been a responsible guy. He doesn't take advantage of things and people for his desire in things.. We do have issues with each other at times and they are seldom solved, now you brought to my attention, if he really needs time alone to sort out his thinking.. Thanks for that, my heart feels much lighter now..

Problem is i don't know what causes the change in him. He's a vocal person with his love and if he doesn't like anything, he would tell me regardless of my reaction to it. I'm one who likes attention in relationship and he's always been showering me with lots of it. Has he grown tired of me and taking the chance to do his own stuff?

I'm happy with him because he never failed to make me laugh regardless i need laughter or not. Though our relationships has ups and lows, we are still happy together. It's only in this recent month that everything changes yet at the same time, we are still doing same stuffs. I'm sure it's not boredom that changes him, but i don't know what else.. I can't have proper conversation with him as he's not in singapore..