I wish I could talk to my mother about my personal problems
By jureathome
@jureathome (5361)
Philippines
April 28, 2012 3:55am CST
While most daughters find it easy to confide with their moms about any problems they have in life, I have never talked to my mother about my more serious personal problems. I stopped being open to her about my woes when I got in to college. That was the time when our family faced our worst issue about my father having an affair with another woman. I learned to deal with my own problems without getting help from her and neither from my siblings (coz they were younger than me). I became a tough woman and responsible as well.
Even, until now (10 years has passed), I don't think my mother can even tell when I'm going through something. They always talk about their problems with me, but never asked about me. Sometimes, I get pissed that they don't seem to care about how I feel, but I just let it go. I'm just lucky that I've found a bestfriend, a confidante and a loving partner in the person of my husband.
3 people like this
6 responses
@allknowing (138314)
• India
28 Apr 12
I can understand exactly what you are going through. People are put in grooves and you are in a groove where there are people who solve other people's problems and it never occurs to them that those who help others also need help. As long as you do not ask they will not offer.
And confiding in a parent is not as common as you believe. There are close friends for that. I too have gone through that stage where I never could say anything to my mother but would merrily open up to a close friend of mine and get solace.
Cheer up because now you know you are not alone!
1 person likes this
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
28 Apr 12
Generally, I'm a private person, I also choose people I confide with. I only have 1 or 2 friend whom I can openly share my worries with. And, my best pal is my husband. I just think it would be good to have your mother listen to you and give you comfort when you need it the most. As they say, mothers know best. 
@allknowing (138314)
• India
28 Apr 12
Since you say you have stopped confiding in your mother for years now it is better that you open up to whoever you are comfortable with rather than bottling it up. In life there is no hard and fast rule particularly when the so called rule does not work.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
28 Apr 12
Thanks for that. Yes, I should just be happy that I have my husband who listens to me. And, i'll just continue to be the listener when it comes to my mother and siblings.
@befrindwithme26 (5805)
• Philippines
28 Apr 12
Best friend but become your loving partner.Good.That's great despite of things you face in the real life, but you learn and how to handle your personal problems and with out telling family.
Me also, l earn to solve my personal problems,and never shared to them.I know that individual problems is not others problems to solve it but it's ours.
We just need to overcome it,grow up,accept it all.
1 person likes this
@befrindwithme26 (5805)
• Philippines
7 May 12
Hi,People are different so we don't know about their problems ,and we just care our and we ca do solve ours if we get a strength from God.If they expect to help them, i wish they also think that its their problem so let them solve and if they seek advise i can give.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
29 Apr 12
I do hope everyone hast he same thoughts about solving their problems. That's what pisses me off, because if I have troubles in life, they never hear a thing from me. And, they expect me to help them with theirs.
@Soniasony (1827)
• India
29 Apr 12
I think life is not complete unless you have a healthy conversation with your mom..I recommend call her immediately and tell her what you feel you wanna tell her and see the relief you get in life..
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
29 Apr 12
Oh, I hope it's that easy. Just the thought of it makes me feel awkward.
@marguicha (224032)
• Chile
11 May 12
Maybe there´s still time to tell your mother that you need her. Why don´t you give her the responsability to shoo away too many visitors from your room at the hospital? Don´t ask her, tell her to do it.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
11 May 12
I'm actually trying to be fully independent from her, since I got married. Well, at the early stage of our marriage, I was still more comfortable asking favors from her, just simple ones, but recently, I don't want to bother her as much. I don't want her to think, that just because I'm providing for her monthly financial needs, that I find it easy to ask her to do things for me. For example, if there's something I lost, and I think I left it at her place - I wouldn't like to ask her to find it for me, despite my inability to travel easily to her place, but I'd send my nanny there to find it.
But, I did ask her to stay with my daughter here in our house, while I'm in the hospital. Kids below 10 years old are not allowed to visit in the hospital, so I need her to supervise at home, although there's a nanny to attend to my daughter's direct needs.
@esor50 (115)
•
28 Apr 12
hi jureathome!when i was still young,at age 18,i also had those feelings like yours.i did't discussed romantic things with my mother for the fear that she might get mad.one thing more.my mother was also experiencing at that time like your mother.we had in common,siblngs are younger and i became independent too,financially,socially and emotionally..just a piece of advice,try to communicate with your mother especially with romantic relationship.she will guide you.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
28 Apr 12
You know what, after what happened in our family, and my parents' separation, I'm even more hesitant to talk to my mother about petty marital issues that I also have. I'm afraid she might freak out and give my husband a hard time. I mean, marital issues come and go, but she might be too assuming that its going to end up like theirs.
@jewelsam (38)
• Philippines
29 Apr 12
Me too, I find it really, really hard to tell or share my problems or personal issues with my mom. I just don't take it seriously now and put it in my mind that I can deal with my issues on my own and become a better, stronger person. We just have to thank God for all these.
