What is the limitation of a joke? How would you know if it is getting offensive?

A joke told once about someone's behaviour, character, or something related to them wont be much offense and it also depends on how the person is describing and the words used. If the same is told again and again it would offend them for sure.

About jokes in general, I hardly ever find them offensive. Even if they're about race, gender, etc., I choose to believe the joker is just being playful with stereotypes so that they're less powerful, not meaning anything by it. And I think that's the heart of it: the joker's intent. Now, when you start joking about one specific person, it gets tricky. Because more often than not, you do mean something specific about them, and often something negative. I think that for a personal joke to be non-offensive, you have to know the person very well and have an understanding that little jabs aren't to be taken literally. It's difficult, though.

"Familiarity breeds contempt" We are always put in a spot where we would feel uncomfortable. Most don't realize that the person being teased is no longer comfortable until the person him/herself bursts fits of anger. Way back in my primary years, I was teased with a certain classmate as a 'couple', it wasn't because one of us had a crush to the other, it was merely because our names fitted a song made by our classmate. The teasing lasted till our last year in high school. We (the guy and I) were never close, we wouldn't even talk to each other, it was awkward for both of us because we had no idea why they were teasing us in the first place. The teasing went on and on because we both didn't react - but it tainted the possibility of friends between us - because we were often teased when we're standing close together. Another incident of teasing (this time not me) was also that of our grade school years, the girl was teased as "shotgun" because her nose-holes looked like barrels of the shotgun (so they say), and another was called "robot" because she moved stiffly like that of a robot, and so many others. The teasing finally stopped when the teachers intervened because it had often caused a scene of mass quarrels. In short, it's never good to tease. Though it's always meant for fun, it's never funny to that person who is the butt of the jokes. Any good-mannered person would soon burst if the teasing or jokes go as much as half a day or the whole day (or worst a week). Which is why, I never participate in them most especially at work. Though we may feel we're "closely knit" group, we still don't know the person totally. In most cases, teasing is often related to bullying. But I guess we should always remember that if we are in this person's place - we wouldn't like it if the teasing doesn't stop immediately. As for your question 'how would you know if you are offending them?' well, it is always an offense or insult if it's something about the person's look (physique) or manner. It's okay if it's only once, but if it's brought about regularly and is spread out to the whole office, that's a different thing. It could even go as far as a harassment case. So be careful. Have a great MyLot experience ahead!

I think jokes are somewhat true- and i really hate those jokesters who make people laugh by humiliating others. I have met some of those and as the years go by i began to fight back. I have always been teased about my big forehead. I just ignore them, then they stop,they are not worth my time.

I think the scenario above isn't below the belt since the tease doesn't concern about his appearance thus his habits only. Well it is normal to have this kind of antics in an office environment since every second can be stressful. Just don't repeat it that much, to the point that it is below the belt. Limitations, as long it doesn't hit the guy's family or is racist enough to begin with. Stop and Apologize when you saw the guy in serious face or said these kind of lines, "Stop it, that's not funny anymore" or some like that.

we as ourselves should know if the joke that we said/stated cause hurt to others, because like others we feel pain and hurt in every unnecessary joke.

I agree with several view the others posted. I personally don't care what other people think about me, jokes don't change much. Like the others said jokes are mainly for if you know the person on a more personal level. Me and my best friend makes jokes toward each other that if others heard our conversations might think we where fighting. Never make a harsh joke (talking about family, race, weight, sexuality, or way the person looks)! Some people just can't take jokes, the cause of this could be anything from low self-esteem, bullying in school, or even down to abusive parents. This is why you should be careful when joking till you know the person. There will be those people that can take what people throw at them and there are those that can't. Always treat all new and even people you have met (till you know what they can handle) as having low self esteem towards jokes. Always keep it to a minimum, too much can be bullying. The way you talked it seems that he was bullied upon (not in the since of being hit but of everyone against him, not saying that you did it but how he saw it). What you might try and do is be nice to him and try and get him to help you with small things, but remember to not go too far start off small. Also remember that too much can lead him to think you like him more than what you do.

Hi, I'm sorry for this but I kind of smirked a little when I read 'janitor fish'. It is funny I guess if you are not the one being joked about. In our office, we also do this type of teasing. Personally, I receive jokes about being 'a weird girl' because I am not their definition of normal. It is fine for me because all of us seem to get along very well. They just don't get some of my antics. But anyway, what I am trying to say here is that jokes are fun if you know each other. If jokes are coming from people you barely know, that is the time it would matter. Another thing, if jokes are about you, it is still fine but if it goes beyond yourself to the point that they start joking about your family, then that is a super no-no!

It is most important to choose whom you will have fun or joke with. You will know if its offensive if that person starts to be mad or simply dont respond with your joke.