Single mothers

wow i miss everything lol i will try and text you this weekend so you can fill me in. i want to tell you this tho. dont think that its over and done and you can not do any thing about it now. sit down and think about it really really hard. if you want to change what happend may be give it a little time and then talk to him. may be you guys can work it out (like i said to IF you honestly and truely want to). even tho he left me i also thought i was never going to get him back. you know how hurt i was. i am sure it hurts because you had to do that and i hope that as times goes by you can get past it but i also know it is easier said than done. if you do decide to try it 1 more time just tell him you were mad and tell him what you told me about not thinking before you said it. i dont know if you guys can or not because i know you have had many problems here and there but then again you never know.... 1 other thing and ill leave you be til i get a chance to text you this weekend but it is something to think about.....sometimes the small things that upset people so bad and are the cause of the arguements and that the person doesnt change isnt as bad as losing them forever. the reason me and him gave it another try is that it wa hard to throw the few years we had together away without trying to make it work. it is all your choice and i dont know everything that is going on but IF you feel and want to give it a try think about that. there was a lot he wanted me to change and some of it i guess i did a little and a few things i did not and some he did not but we learned to live past that let it go and keep on going. it makes me mad and sometimes i complain about it a little to much but other times i just let it go...like i said YOU do what YOU feel is RIGHT for you and those kids! if you need to talk my cell is now charged up. I LOVE YOU and i hope that is works out for the best for you all. tell your kids that i love them and i hope to see them soon. may be 1 day we can all go to the park together and let them play you know they would enjoy that and it would give us both time to get out of the house and hang out :)

Thank you very much

Yeah alot has went on this past weekend girl. Alot of things that don't really need to be put across here we are going to have to talk some time. You need to text me or somethig. Cause it is very very crazy. You said he left you and you were heart broken but I kicked hi Out and I'm still heart broken that is 6 years that I just threw out the door and didn't think about a second time before I done it. Would I change it all if I could yeah I probalbly would but then again I really shouldt change it. It has all been a really really big mess and I should have thought about the things I said and told him before I did it. It's over and done now and there is nothing I can do about it. But yeah get up with me soon so I can fill you in on everything.

I agree with you I think that it is going to be difficult. It hearts very bad even though I am the one that kicked him out. My big thing is the time to come and how me and him will get along will he hate me forever will he get over it. It's so heart breaking. I love him with all my heart and don't like to see him like that. But then again that is why I have been unhappy for so long. Thank you for your post. I do have one question for you though did your children act out in any way when you guys split up? I now it's goig to take a little while before they do maybe like a week to really under stand that daddy is really not coming home this time but that is what I am scared of is that they will start not wanting to lisen to me at all. That's just like yesterday I took the kids to see their daddy cause I told him that I wouldn't ever think about keeping the kids from him. But he new that they hadn't eat supper yet and that we were going to be eatting soon and he gave them chocolate to eat. And I didn't hear him say it but I now he was talki g a little bit of crap about something that is going on because my son asked me about something when we were leaving and headed home. I would love to see me and him be friends but I can see already that it's not going to work out that way.

If you ever have any questions please feel free to ask, I have gone through this. Having people to talk to will help you overcome all of this and time does heal all wounds.I know it is really difficult and it is heart breaking, but it does get better. I was crushed when I left him, but after a week or so I knew that it was the best for myself and my kids.It took time for me to get over the hurt and pain. We are not friends now, but we can talk to each other and be friendly. We still argue and he does alot of things that irritate me but it is something you learn to deal with. For the first couple of weeks we just met so he could see the kids,but I noticed that the lack of communication was hurting the kids so I made the first attempt in getting to be friends. We agreed to at least be nice to each other especially if the kids were around. It took a long time but now we can talk. You two may nevr be friends again because of the things that have come between you guys, but have hope that you can at least talk without fighting. It will take time because your hurt, angry , and emotional but once you can accept what has happened it gets a lot easier. Now to answer your question about the kids. Yes they did act out. My older son especially. He would come home from school angry at the world and very angry with me. He told me daily he hated me and it was my fault daddy is not here. It hurts to hear that and it broke my heart that my kids felt this way. It took weeks before he realised that we were never going to get back together and when that finally happened he quit screaming at me as much. I knew he blamed me and I also knew their dad was telling them it was all my fault. I admitted to them that I left their dad, but they were to young to kno all the reason and that when they are older I would tell them more. This is when I told them that we could not get along and all we do is fight, and I did not want to fight anymore. I also told them everyday I love them and it isn't their fault why we are not together. I also took them to see a therapist. The best thing you can do for them is be there. Let them know you and daddy both love them and always will, make sure they know it is not their fault, and tell them you are always their if they want to talk. Be as open and honest with them as you can. They will act out and fight you as often as they can, but be firm. It will be hard but it helps. Whenever my son really got angry wanted to hit me I would just give him a big hug, kisses and tell him I love him ntil his energy faded. Every day I asked him if he wanted to talk and everyday i tell him I love him. It has been over 7 years and my son still tells me every once in a while he is still mad at me, but he also tells me he sees how daddy has hurt me. I hope this helps you and be strong and firm. If you enjoy reading, the book called "The Legacy of Divorce," also helped me out. It made me realise that a broken home is sometimes better hen a house in turmoil.

Thank you very much

Yes I agree with you if you can help it work it out. But there are some times that enough is enough. I kicked my husband out I now like three different times and I also left on like two or three different times over the same things over and over again and I was really done with it. He always told me the same thing every time baby things are going to change I am going to change but at first yes they did change for like the first week and then went right back to the way they were b4. Then it started getting worse as the times went by it went to a few days of change then it went to no change at all. And yes the reason I told him to was kinda the truth but also was just a reason to get him out because I am very kind hearted and the only way to help my children and my self is to put my self into this situation. It hurts really really bad. But I don't want my children growing up learning things that he does and thinks that they are doing the right thing. Thank you again for your post.

you are absolutely right

Thank you for your post I just hope that they all post what they went through. I hope that they can all kinda help me to understand and what to tell the kids and all of that.

Thank u for ur post. I was also thinking that it would be the hardest thing to explain to the kids. Did ur children act out in any way? That is what I am scared of is the children acting out. Ecause there dad is no longer there and he has been for the last 5 years. And to tell them the truth would really hurt them bad. I think that I can do it matter a fact I now I can do it. It's my fault that we are no longe together. I just hate to hurt anyone with everything that is going on right now.