Just a need to vent

hi justme0k, unfortunately this situtation happens more often than people are aware. Its really a sad thing and very hard on you I am sure... I am sure that your children will surely remember where their bread and butter came about once they grow up..but in the mean time you are stuck dealing with a real " $@&%... Hang in there its not going to always be this way...

Hopefully your kids will learn the value of a dollar from you. Till then, there are lots of fun things you can do with your kids for free or very cheap. The biggest is to take them to a park and have a nice picnic. Do you have a soccer ball you could bring a long with you to have a fun game? Take them to the local public pool for a fun day swimming. Just because you don't have money, does not mean that you can't have fun! :)

I hear you! Same here! Mine are older now - 17 and 19 and they still compare our family to their friends families - they have money, they have nicer things, they have 2 parents. It is discouraging. I thought it would end by now!

Don't care about that. Even see it as a way not to spend money yourself on these extra's. Your kids will find out sooner or later who is doing all the work and who is paying them to keep them silent. There is nothing wrong with saying no. Your kids do get what they need and need to know too that it needs hard working to earn, it needs saving to buy what you like and you can not buy everything you see. If you have a dollar left over spend it on a cookie for yourself, your kids get plenty of their dad. Pamper yourself so your kids will see too (sooner or later) that expensive stuff etc have nothing to do with real happiness.

I'm sorry to hear about your state right now. Everything else will fall into place. I hope that the father of your children will also help in making them understand the current situation. The best thing you can do right now is connect with them, they easily would see your efforts if you somehow take things more lightly. If we are under stress, we usually get so emotional and starts to express our frustrations more often than not. This may have a negative effect on your children. They might perceived you differently, don't try compare yourself with their father. This might make the situation more undesirable.

Believe me children are smarter than what we give them credi for. You are setting an excellent example for your children. I am sure the kids will be grateful to you.

I think this is an age old problem. You will have the advantage of having spent time with them and that will need to be both your priority and consolation. Four kids is a lot, do you ever get any time for yourself, or any special things for you?. Hopefully working and relaxing online will give you a little bit of extra cash to do the occasional special thing. I know you love them and you do have fun. Eventually kids see that the person who makes such a big deal of gifts is usually compensating for lack of attention or time.

Yeah- it is just up to you to understand your mom, since they usually now what's best... It is not easy being a single mm-especially with 4 kids. When the kids become parents themselves, they'd understand.. Just be patient or you can tell your mom how you feel and maybe she'll make more time for you.