My 86 year old Momma fell down alone at home this morning.
@chrystaltears (3392)
United States
April 30, 2012 6:17pm CST
At 5:00 this morning or very shortly after, my 86 year old mom fell in the floor and couldn't get up. She had to call my brother who lives 3 miles and a half away.
I stay with her from Thursday through Sunday, and I had gone back to my home at 8 or so last night. I live about 45 minutes from her.
I had a 'life alert' installed in her home Friday and had it tested and all. Just before I left her house, I hung it around her neck AGAIN and said 'okay, if something happens, what will you do?' She said 's*hit, I don't know'. I said, Mom you push the button when they call out on the speaker tell them you've fallen or whatever, and they will ask your code which is your birthday. I kissed her goodbye and went home.
When my brother got there, she was in bedroom floor where she crawled to get to phone. She walked without her walker and didn't have her button on. So... what can I do now?
3 people like this
7 responses
@allknowing (142869)
• India
1 May 12
You are indeed a thoughtful daughter. But you can do only so much and the rest your Mom should. But it seems her faculties are not helping her. She should not be left alone and as a matter of fact no senior should be left alone. I do not know how you can manage not keeping her alone and I hope some idea will occur to you.
1 person likes this
@chrystaltears (3392)
• United States
1 May 12
Her grandson Jake who is 26 stays with her, but he comes in from work, takes a shower and leaves. He does his own laundry, and that is it! It would help so much if he could hang out an evening or two, but he won't hear of it. He just sleeps here more or less. But she can see no wrong in him, so I keep my mouth shut most of the time. I know it would break her heart if he got upset and left soooooo, that makes it that much harder too.
@allknowing (142869)
• India
1 May 12
It looks like her grandson is the apple of her eye. With that there is little you can do to either keep her in a home or have this grandson to be more responsible. Leave it to destiny chrystal... What can't be cured has to be endured.
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
1 May 12
hi,
hope she's fine by now and you all are relaxed too. In old age one really need a support and they need to be treated as a child.
My mom aged 76 was wtih me for a month during last year and she fell in our room but didn't got hurt. She never had the history of falling before so we were worried a bit. The doctors suspected itd due to weakness and low BP.
Take care.
@chrystaltears (3392)
• United States
12 May 12
Thank you so much viju for your concern. Yes, it's true, Mom does need to be treated like a child much of the time. Many times as she's going to bed, I help her undress and put her night clothes on and so on.
She still won't wear the life alert. She's had it on the one time I put it on and she took it off after I left and fell the next morning when she was alone.
Now the superintendent of her house put a tub, shower seat that she sits on and lifts her leg over the tub so she won't have to put in one leg and then the other. She had a different seat for that, but now she's upset cause she doesn't like the way she has to get in the tub, even if it's safer. She says she's gonna take it back out and use her other shower seat.
Oh my goodness. You take care too.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
1 May 12
She probably is not used to it. So you have to insist that she keep it around. Do you have a home agency like Visiting Angels around? They might help when you cannot get there on time. I know we have help like that in Manitoba when my husband got Al's and iptheyvwer a great help when he could no longer do things for himself, So look into a home care agency when your mother gets so she cannot do much for herself and sh can stay wher she is, st. Home.
1 person likes this
@chrystaltears (3392)
• United States
12 May 12
Hi suspenseful. I am sorry I took so long to answer your response, but I am here now. Don't have a whole lot of extra time to spend at Mylot sometimes.
We do have home care here. They could deliver two meals a day. Do minor house cleaning. Bathe her and help with some other issues, but she refuses it. She says she doesn't want any one prowling around in her house. She is extremely stubborn.
@dandan07 (1906)
• China
1 May 12
I am sorry to hear that.
To an old people, i think it is better for them living with their children, so that they can get rid of many housework and be taken care of by their family members.
My mother, now is only 50, have fallen down twice for no reason. So as the only child, I decide to find a job in my hometown and live with her to make sure bad things will not happen to her.
I think in your case, try to visit her as often as possible, and make her happy is a good way to avoid this.
1 person likes this
@chrystaltears (3392)
• United States
12 May 12
Hi. I stay with her 4 days and come back another day sometimes and if something else happens to her, I stay with her on those days also. Then I have a brother who lives 3 miles from her who does what he can. We really do all we know to do.
@kajal1992 (354)
• India
1 May 12
Thanks for such a nice post, I wish your mommy have a long and long living. I think she feels frustration by hanging all those stuffs around the neck. I think it is the time she need someone to take care of her, don't let her alone, take her to your home and I think there she would be ok.
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
1 May 12
Oh shrystaltears, so sorry about your mom...hope she did not
get seriously injured..
But I think you did the right thing by getting the "life allert,
I just think she had to get use to having it , maybe its just
to new to her and she did not remember,,,
I wish you luck with this situtation....
1 person likes this
@chrystaltears (3392)
• United States
1 May 12
Thank you bjc. She couldn't get stitches tho she needed them on two places. She takes blood thinners so her skin is black and very thin. They said the needles would tear her skin. So they did butterfly stitches. She hit the side of her face the hardest she said. Her neck is really hurting. Hip's hurting, elbow, fingers, but she and we were blessed as she had no broken bones or internal bleeding. Blessing indeed. Thank you. I'm hoping this is a hard lesson learned for her.
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
25 May 12
Well, it might be time even though she may not want it to find a Retirement home that can help look after her, or someone to come in and help her, or be there at different times of the day to help out. There are a lot of times when elderly people still feel too proud to want to admit they need help, or start forgetting things and you can never count on anything always working for them. But finding a way to be able to keep her safe is a Good thing for sure.
