Do you impose your thinking onto others?
By dream_ozn
@dream_ozn (1754)
Singapore
May 1, 2012 2:02am CST
I for one am definitely guilty of this. I impose my thinking, my habits onto others.
I was studying halfway and this thought suddenly came to me. All of us have different habits, we have different characters. We do things differently, we have different methods of accomplishing things. All of us are unique and for this reason, we need to learn how to respect each other.
Recently i have been complaining about my boyfriend for many many things and it just suddenly dawned on me that i'm asking him to comply with whatever thinking i have. mine habits might not work for him, but yet, i want him to think and behave the same way as i do. This is ridiculous.
Not only do i do this to my boyfriend. I also do this to my tuition kids. I always think that the method that i use is the best method and forces all of them to follow me exactly. I now realise that i might not be the best, the method i use, might be suitable for me, but not to others and i need to understand that.
From now on, i'll be more sensitive to other needs, rather than just thinking that my thinking, my beliefs and methods are superior compared to others.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@megamatt (14291)
• United States
1 May 12
There are times where I am so very tempted to really say something, to give some opinion. But they I realize, would this be a situation where I would really want someone to give their opinion? The fact of the matter is really, no, I don't really want to really have them impose their thoughts onto me. I would not like my opinion rather forced.
Not everyone has the same situation right in life that I do. There are just going to be times where everyone has different thoughts, different needs, different problems, some which I really cannot have imagined right in the past, or perhaps really ever again to be honest with you. So that is just not something I do. I'll give my advice if solicited, but I do encourage people to find their own path.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
7 May 12
I really admire you that you encourage people to find their own path. I think i would want to be like that too. To be able to find my own path rather than having someone else forced their opinions onto me.
Thank you megamatt for reminding me that we whenever we do something to people, we have to think whether we want people to do it to us as well!
@ShadowSky (221)
• Bulgaria
1 May 12
Now that I think about it I'm also guilty of this. It's not the I tell them what to do directly. It's that I always want people to have an opinion similar to mine so when I talk to someone I tell them what to think and how to behave in the form of advices and suggestions and by criticizing them. I never realized how often I do that. Everyone is unique and has their own views but people will always want to be right and for others to agree with them so I guess everyone imposes their thinking on others in some way.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
7 May 12
yes, everyone of us is unique, but more often than not, we'll tell people waht we want them to do and how we hope that they will behave. We want people to agree wtih us.
Research have soon that we like to mix around with people who have the same views, and have the same thinking as we do. Employers are more likely to hire people whom have the same views as they do.
Therefore, it is only very natural that we'll try to impose our thinking onto others. The most important thing is to know where to draw the line and not to go overboard.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
1 May 12
I believe I, too am guilty of this. Although, on occasions, there were some unintentional ones, I must admit that there are times that I do some on purpose. There are times when I speak my mind in a way as suggesting something or maybe as an opinion of like or dislike towards an event or scenario which then influences the whole thing as a result of chain reactions brought about by my suggestion.I know I have this attitude of having things done my way, perhaps this is common to many as well, and so this attitude also leads to people around me doing the things that way, maybe with respect to me or just the manner being imposed on them which eventually becomes a behavior.
I guess there are times that this could be good but then, of course there are times that this won't be good at all.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
7 May 12
Yea. i also have this attitude that i want things to be done my way.
But i suppose you are right, there are times where it would be good for example, a teacher teaching their students. being young and there are still many things that they don't know in this world, teachers have to impose their knowledge on them.
But we have to make sure that whatever we impose on other, we have to make sure we still respect other's thought and feelings.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
1 May 12
I think most us do it one way or the other. If people ask you for advice you do it, if people use you as an example you do it, teachers do it, parents do it.. I wonder if it's wrong, it has way more to do with the way you do it or if you force others to change. If it comes to your bf did he change or do you see him and his habits differently? Once, the moment you met, you liked him for what you are, I assume it's the same with he liking you.
In a relationship it's also normal to find ways/methods to make it work, esp if we are raised different, have different habits, culture etc.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
7 May 12
Yea, most of us do it one way or another. I really agree with you on this. Especially when people ask us for advice, we will us ourselves as a benchmark. The reason we use ourselves as a benchmark is because we think that the way we do things is the best, the way we think is the best.
As for my boyfriend, i think it is me that is having the problem. I seem to be the one viewing his habits differently. He has been like that for the past 5 years but it's only recently that i started to view him in a different like. he like me when he first met me, he like me for who i am and i think i really have to change and go and really think why i liked him in the first place. and shouldn't be so affected by his habits.
thanks wakeupkitty for reminding me that i was the one who have changed in viewing him, not that his habits have changed.
2 people have different raising, different culture and therefore, no two can be alike especially when we come from different family, and therefore, there are alot of compromises that we have to really see what to do about them!
@Bluedoll (16773)
• Canada
1 May 12
I suppose it is called being open minded. It is thoughtful to be so and I can only think of a few situations where I would not want to be tolerant and stand my ground. Expressing ourselves is good but I guess we can be all guilty of going overboard at times. It goes along with being the best - that was a joke. :-)
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
7 May 12
Yes, it is good to express ourselves but we have to make sure we don't go overboard for it might turn upon us instead.
You are right, it's more of being open minded thing. Still we would prefer people to be similar to us and therefore, it is only natural that we want people to behave like we do.
