Do you really just fall in love, Once?
By Christoph56
@Christoph56 (1504)
Canada
May 1, 2012 2:24am CST
I had originally started this piece with a direction of being in love multiple times, and how now, it is tougher and more difficult then it has been before, but it's allowed me to rethink the entire scenario, and I've realized something...
I've fallen in love, 4 times throughout my life (if, what I have started to experience now, truly is love...) and with each of those 4, there are a lot of similarities. I'm a White Canadian, and all 3 of these girls have been immigrants to my country, with medium dark skin, from countries that they just wanted to escape from, after being ripped away from their original homeland, earlier in their life. The first was a Bosnian that became Danish before Canada, another was a Colombian that became American before Canada, another was a Pakistanian that became Saudi Arabian before Canada, and now it's a Persian that became German before Canada.
Isn't this an unusual trend? Do we get to the point where, if we fall out of love, we just try to copy that first love we ever had? Is this how people fall in love and get married, because once they fall in love, they lock onto it? What about people in a marriage lasting over a decade, but then fall out, and want to find somebody completely different... will they be in love again? Am I just seeing this from the male perspective, rather then the female? Is it differen't?
Considering this scenario I've put myself into has left me with a zillion questions, so I'd really love to read your responses.
6 responses
@Zammeee (66)
• Belgium
1 May 12
You can easily fall in love more than once. Not that you will forget your previous loves, but it's different. I've been in love more than once and I'm only 16. Then you ask; What is being in love when you're only 16 ... But my answer to that is that 16 year olds can be in love too. And yes, serious love.
But it's not about me. Just follow your heart, and it will take you to the one you really love.
@Christoph56 (1504)
• Canada
1 May 12
I'm not surprised at all that you've fallen in love when you're only 16... I fell in love for the very first time when I was 15, and it was the most emotional I've ever been in love, through my life. The more it's happened, the more you get used to it, and the older you get, the more your emotions calm down.... so, enjoy this love the best you can! it may be the biggest emotions you'll have, your whole life!
@geen1234 (111)
• Philippines
1 May 12
well, it is depends on how you define love. there is always comparison in your mind and heart of your ex and present, always comparing previous relationship from present.
@Christoph56 (1504)
• Canada
1 May 12
What would you call love? Do you think it's more those profound feelings when you first meet them, or is it more the reliance and need for the other once you start to really live off of eachother?
@vaishnavc (556)
• India
2 May 12
I too have had a few girlfriends.But i have only fallen in love with a single girl.My current girlfriend.And i think that this is the single biggest mistake that i have done in m life.She is never there.I mean i know she loves me a lot too.But.you won't get it unless you are in my position.And right now i am trying to get over her.And i have had it with love.If i really get over her.Then i will never get in a relationship again.I know why all the people want it.How good it feels when you are in love.But it can also be the only thing that really hurts you.
And i am a type who never bothers about anything and let nothing get to me.But this is the one and only thing that gets to me.
@coldnpale (555)
• Greece
1 May 12
I believe it is possible to truly fall in love just once. I am not going to reject something like that, even though I see it as a super rare occassion. I think there is a possibility that the first time that you fall in love, you are too excited about it and might do sacrifices that you are going to regret later. As the excitement blinds you from seeing the real personality of the person you are in love with. If that's the case you are going to realise this the next time you fall in love, with the more deserving person. Of course, you might be lucky and fall in love for the first time with the right person...but that's a different story. :P
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
1 May 12
To be honest I don't know. I think there are people who easily fall in love, others never will be. Some people fall in love because of the falling in love itself. I also think the older you get, the better you know yourself, the more you invest in yourself the less important it is to be loved by someone else, to be needed, to be accepted. At least that is what I notice with me. Now you mention it I even can't say I ever fall in love.. though I did, I had bad times, a broken heart for over 14 years, wasted my life.. still.. what if it was not love at all .. just in my head?
@Christoph56 (1504)
• Canada
1 May 12
With your heart being broken for over 14 years... was that from being with someone that you didn't love for all that time, or, were you with them for 14 years when you fully realized that you weren't in love with them?
Since it went on for so long, how do you feel about others? Do you want someone that has distinct similarities, or huge differences?
@jhamylubz (29)
• Philippines
1 May 12
The thing you've said about trying to copy your first love is definite true. Why? Because every time you're in love you want to see the characteristics that you like/love on your first be present on your next or to the one you've fallen to, except you're also looking for something new or something more. Like for example, you fall in love to a girl who is hot or boy who is cool then also loved you back, then after few months or years, you split up because of something disappointing happen or anything. Then you fallen again for the second time but now you've became more observant, you want him/her to be hot/cool too like the first one but you want something new, like you want to see if he/she is responsible, kind or trustworthy or companionable, something like that. The same story for the third one if you fall in love again, you want the characteristics of the first and the second be present on the him/her and also something new to be like for.
