Being the other woman
By sunshine8010
@sunshine8010 (1)
United States
May 2, 2012 6:33pm CST
It's the toughest. Judgements, Shame, dignity, self-respect. All these I needed to deal with each day. It was never planned. I just loved, all emotions. Did I care about it being accepted in the society? being understood? I never expected anything. It was my own fight. And I fought hard. After all, it was my decision to engage into a complicated situation. I loved him. The thought of losing makes me weak. Yes, I was selfish. Apparently never did I ever even try of stealing him away. What mattered is that we were together. Making good memories. But at the end of the day, I am left alone. Time passed by, and slowly, I realized that its pointless being with him when in fact he has made his choice a long time ago. Was it Martyrdome? I did not care. Everytime we are together, things get twisted. He makes me go through each day. I felt loved. And that was just the most important thing for me. And I dont know until when I'm gonna settle for less.. It is sad. It is all mixed up inside.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@Suebee (2013)
• Canada
3 May 12
Often people get themselves into situations that they didn't plan, they just happened. In the case of being the other woman it is extremely difficult. Often you are reluctant to discuss it with your friends for fear of being judged, hence you tend to keep it inside of you and let your feelings, emotions, frustration etc fester. It is very easy for someone else to say deal with it and move on because there are just so many feelings and emotions associated with it. It's a good idea, if possible, to find an outlet for these emotions. I think you are very brave and have taken the first step in doing that by posting this discussion.
@sunshine08 (17)
• United States
3 May 12
Thank you so much! Your post made me smile. It is indeed the toughest. All i could do is just cry alone because releasing my emotions to somebody might cause be judgements that harder to bear. I am doing my best though to love myself more. Easier said than done...
1 person likes this
@sunshine08 (17)
• United States
4 May 12
I know in time, I'd be able to move on.. I have been trying the past 10 months.. At least we both have tried.. Its just really hard to unlearn the things that youve already learn. And not get used to the daily routines with him. It is sometimes loneliness that kills me..
@syramoon (654)
• United States
3 May 12
I've been in this situation before, the unplanned complicated, why am I doing this to myself?Because I love him, situation. You'll work it out in time. I seen him off and on for years. You're the one you have to answer to, no one else. I did finally break it off with him, because emotionally missing him was too much for me to emotionally handle. I wanted someone I could have full time, not part time. I never wanted him to leave his wife, his son, never wanted to be a home wrecker. So I never asked that of him, and even if I had, and he did, I would have always thought that if he left her for me, whose he going to leave me for. Just take it one day at a time, hon. You'll figure out what to do about. *hugs* It's hard to stay, and harder to leave. But in the end for me it was worth it. You're the only one who can decide what's worth it and what's not in your life. Best Wishes!
~Syra~
@sunshine08 (17)
• United States
3 May 12
I am not sure if my previous comment was shown.. But This post really made me feel a lot better... Thank you!
@sunshine08 (17)
• United States
4 May 12
So my first comment was not posted. ugh!
Anyway, thanks so much syra. I am still 26. I know I've got a long way to go. And if I havent mentioned yet, He is not yet married. He and his girlfriend has been together for 3 years. He tried to move away from the girl and I saw how hard it was for him. I must say I have my own faults too. I dont know why it's just so hard to let go of him. Loneliness really kills me. sigh!
@alicia812 (646)
• Australia
4 May 12
Hi sunshine8010. The fact that the guy is not
yet married to his girlfriend should give him a
clearer option to choose between his girlfriend
for 3 years or you. I don't want to judge him
because I am not a judgmental person. But keeping
two women in his life when he has all the option
to choose seem to be so selfish. You said 'he has
made his choice a long time ago', then let that
choice prevail. Girl, don't do that to yourself.
I can tell you are full of love, but the thing is
you MUST love yourself too. You deserve much
better. I hope you can find peace and real happiness
soon. Pray and let HIS Guidance lead you to the right
decision.
@sunshine08 (17)
• United States
5 May 12
Thanks Alicia! You see, when I love, I love deeply. I decided to continue my friendship with him because I feel that its all I can have. But the consequences is torturing me inside. I just tend to hide it because I dont want him to pressure with my existence. I do whatever that makes him happy. cook for him, be with him. I thought I am just lonely thats why im still with him. Apparently, I feel lonelier. But his existence really helps me go through each day. Its just all mixed up inside.
@sherlysinguran (82)
•
3 May 12
Peace be with you....
The thought of being the other woman is not good at all, and i think no one will say very good you are the other woman. But its a decision to make, try to weigh the consequences, were you able to go with that? You also have to consider other, you are not the only one who have emotion here. if you were the wife how would you feel? Don't base you're decision on the reaction of others, dig deeper and do what is right not only for your self but also others..
@sunshine08 (17)
• United States
3 May 12
I understand. The guy though is not yet married. And you know what, despite my situation, despite the pain, if he has a conflict with his girl, I tell him to understand the girl and all. Martyrdome as they say. That's just really how much I love him...
@geen1234 (111)
• Philippines
3 May 12
that must be hard for you, one thing that is hard to do, is letting it go and to move on. if your heart break, then another heart can also heal that. easy to advice that, leave him and find another that the truth is, it is really hard to let go.
@sunshine08 (17)
• United States
3 May 12
certainly true. to clarify though, the guy is not yet married. God knows how many time ive tried to just really let go.. sigh!
