Was it worth a fight?
By annavi23
@annavi23 (6522)
Philippines
May 4, 2012 3:47am CST
There are people who post their emotions on their walls. Some posts are made just for their own self as if like talking to themselves and telling that what they are doing is not right. There are also posts which are copied from others and makes them inspired or realize things. There are also posts made for someone who they don't want to confront in person, posts which can be hurtful that if one reads it, he/she will be guilty. But how will you know if you are the one who is intentionally being referred to? What if you reacted and then realized it was not you the poster is referring to? How will you react to that? It's even more humiliating is it?
There was a couple, B and G (boy and girl) who has not-so-cool relationship as of the present and then B has two friend girls, X and Y. These two girls are both friends of B but not friends with G,but the four of them went to highschool together, not classmates. It's just G feels like X and Y wants to grab her B that's why she posts something about what she feels about X and Y. She acts like X and Y don't like her to be his girl. The real problem is that B is not that happy with her anymore. and he is just chatting with X and Y to make him feel better. It's just that. He doesn't have affairs on X and Y either so G doesn't have reasons to feel angry. What G does is that she always open the fb account of B and keeps on commenting of their own posts. As if like she is talking to her ownself when she is using both their accounts B and G. Do you think it's still normal to do? Letting others know that they are okay but then they are not? She's just hurting herself and making her believe that they are okay. What do you think? If you are X and Y what will you do or tell to G and B?
There was a couple, B and G (boy and girl) who has not-so-cool relationship as of the present and then B has two friend girls, X and Y. These two girls are both friends of B but not friends with G,but the four of them went to highschool together, not classmates. It's just G feels like X and Y wants to grab her B that's why she posts something about what she feels about X and Y. She acts like X and Y don't like her to be his girl. The real problem is that B is not that happy with her anymore. and he is just chatting with X and Y to make him feel better. It's just that. He doesn't have affairs on X and Y either so G doesn't have reasons to feel angry. What G does is that she always open the fb account of B and keeps on commenting of their own posts. As if like she is talking to her ownself when she is using both their accounts B and G. Do you think it's still normal to do? Letting others know that they are okay but then they are not? She's just hurting herself and making her believe that they are okay. What do you think? If you are X and Y what will you do or tell to G and B?2 people like this
5 responses
@viji_v2 (727)
• India
4 May 12
Most times facebook is not used wisely to show what they think or what they feel. This brings more problem than any good in them and people around them. It is better to stop posting when we are emotionally down or in anger. It will avoid most problems. That 'G' can stop doing that and could save her tears and anger for something more worth than this fight.
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
4 May 12
Yes, you are right, viji! By the way, your name sounds familiar... Anyway, facebook really is not for posting more of emotions and all your sentiments in life. You are right, it's not good to post your anger or any not-so-good feelings in facebook cause it might cause or bring more problems. Some times there can be secrets that might be revealed specially it is being visible to most people. If you have problems in relationships, it is much more being dealt with personal communications. and not just broadcasting it to the whole world.
It's like that G wants to have sympathy from all people around her. When the real problem is that, she has to talk to B what they really mean to each other...
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
4 May 12
vijiboopathy, is that you? Am I right?
Well, I can't fing your profile for that username anymore... What happened dear?
I have found this one topic from you: http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2320714.aspx
Well, yes the girl is trying to make a scene. Is it normal to be done by a girl?
She's just letting herself hurt,right? Assuming she is still loved by her partner.
If you are G what will you do in her shoe?
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
5 May 12
This topic reminded me of a funny thing that my partner experience a few months ago. He was friends with his co-worker (guy) and then the co-workers girlfriend was also his friend (I don't know why she added him but I don't mind). Anyhow, one day he started ranting to me about how insensitive people are and how 'open' people are about their relationship. When I asked him "what's up?" he said that they two have been posting out their sweet nothings in public!
I looked at the profile and indeed there were sweet nothings there. It's not the status but the text messages being displayed as photos of them talking. Every single time the girl says something to the boyfriend in a sweet way and the guy answers, they post it in their FB!!!! 
It was certainly hilarious for me but my partner was pretty annoyed with it.
He says that the world doesn't care what they say with each other, he just didn't want to see on his facebook their messages for each other every single hour!! I told him to just set the settings to never show them but he said he already did something.
He actually confronted the guy about it. He didn't rant, he just asked him "Where's your girlfriend? Doesn't she come home in your house?" when the guy answered "yes", my partner said, "so why do you guys need to post all your private endearment on Facebook? We don't need to know what's happening."
Whew! He was harsh! But it worked, they stopped doing that. 
I am sorry if the post is off, but I just am too confused with all your letters there. I think you should just let them be and stop streaming with them. Let them handle their problems which is obviously petty. Just don't mind them and post more here in MyLot instead!
Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
It was certainly hilarious for me but my partner was pretty annoyed with it. He says that the world doesn't care what they say with each other, he just didn't want to see on his facebook their messages for each other every single hour!! I told him to just set the settings to never show them but he said he already did something.
He actually confronted the guy about it. He didn't rant, he just asked him "Where's your girlfriend? Doesn't she come home in your house?" when the guy answered "yes", my partner said, "so why do you guys need to post all your private endearment on Facebook? We don't need to know what's happening."
Whew! He was harsh! But it worked, they stopped doing that.
I am sorry if the post is off, but I just am too confused with all your letters there. I think you should just let them be and stop streaming with them. Let them handle their problems which is obviously petty. Just don't mind them and post more here in MyLot instead!
Have a great MyLot experience ahead!@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
5 May 12
It was quite annoying at times why people do that broadcasting to all what they are talking about. Of course we people want privacy. Why do they have to do that... Just to let others know how much they value each other or just by the texts they got from each other? It's more of privacy stuffs so let not be broadcasted anymore.
I think it's like the same in my story here. The girl is somehow letting herself convinced that they are okay and so she is managing their both accounts...on her own...like talking to herself. I mean she's not helping herself out,right?
1 person likes this
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
6 May 12
I am just concerned though I'm really not her friend, she's a girl too and I know it's hard to expect that things will be okay when it's not. I just hope she'll stop doing those things and just be true to herself.
You are right, sometimes things happen for a reason, and we are human born to make mistakes. By mistakes, we learn things. But the question is, when will we learn to realize what we are doing is wrong and how will we manage to do the right thing...
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
8 May 12
It does not matter what i am going to do in this case but how i deliver the message. In every fight - you choose how to win the battle and when you go public and tries to air your laundry in public then you can be sure you'd be at the losing side. People do not go for who tells it first and they do not go for people who loves to talk about their issues. we have had a lot of noises in the worl already - adding to that via tweets or facebooking will not even get you sympathy, but haters all the more.
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
8 May 12
Very well said, chiyosan!
It is true that we can't get sympathy when we post our emotions too much...As you said, it would be the haters who would multiply in numbers.without us knowing that it is really happening because we are just posting without even thinking what others would say and how we just mind our own selves not thinking how will it may affect to others, or what will others think of us...
It is true that we can't get sympathy when we post our emotions too much...As you said, it would be the haters who would multiply in numbers.without us knowing that it is really happening because we are just posting without even thinking what others would say and how we just mind our own selves not thinking how will it may affect to others, or what will others think of us...
@genevy04 (793)
• Philippines
9 May 12
Hahaha... This reminded me exactly of what happened a week ago dear..
My main concern here is PRIVACY. Why would a girlfriend open his Facebook account? i mean, what's the point? Where is the privacy there? For me, an account should be just for oneself and not for two people, even if they are a couple.
And why would G feel that a post is actually referring to her? I guess she did because she's guilty. I think someone shouldn't always feel that somebody's posts is actually referring to you. facebook world is too huge to think that one person speaks about you.
And for B, I think that if he isn't really happy with his relationship with G, then why make the effort to stay in the relationship? B should know what he wants, and stand up for it. One can never be really happy if he/she knew in himself that what he have now is not what he wants...
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
11 May 12
Exactly? are you sure? Oh, it's been a week...hehehe
Yeah, in every relationship there should be a privacy. It's like giving them their ownself and putting trust on them. When the girl use the facebook account of B, it's not a good attitude at all. It's also like making use of cellphones when it is meant to be used by a single person and not to be held by anyone even if you are a couple.
The girl was too guilty that every post anyone makes affects her a lot. Made her put anger too much in her nerves...
I guess she doesn't have too much trust on her bf that makes her feel paranoid that makes her do such things... As for B, he should talk to G face to face and let them fix things themselves and learn not to post too much emotions in public...
Sometimes by doing this, much problems arise...
Oh, it's been a week...hehehe
Yeah, in every relationship there should be a privacy. It's like giving them their ownself and putting trust on them. When the girl use the facebook account of B, it's not a good attitude at all. It's also like making use of cellphones when it is meant to be used by a single person and not to be held by anyone even if you are a couple.
The girl was too guilty that every post anyone makes affects her a lot. Made her put anger too much in her nerves...
I guess she doesn't have too much trust on her bf that makes her feel paranoid that makes her do such things... As for B, he should talk to G face to face and let them fix things themselves and learn not to post too much emotions in public...
Sometimes by doing this, much problems arise...
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
4 May 12
First of all, everyone should understand that in a still existing relationship, if someone talks to two friends of the opposite gender more than to their boyfriend/girlfriend, it can be really hard and awful for that certain boyfriend/girlfriend... I guess, it this case, not only G is the guilty one, or she may not want to deliberately hurt anyone, just she isn't intelligent enough emotionally to find a more polite and intelligent way of dealing with this problem. I guess the best option would be that B should talk to her about their relationship, and if he feels that the relationship is not okay, he should tell her why he doesn't like being with her anymore, so that they could work out the real problems, or just leave her. If I was X or Y, I'd talk to B about how negative that is that I/we get hiddenly nasty stuff from her, and he should do something about it, and also tell G that we're fed up with her behaviour and that we get punsihed by her innocently.
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
4 May 12
Very well said, doroffee!
You are right that G maybe isn't intelligent enough emotionally to find a more polite and intelligent way of dealing with the problem. I guess she is just focused on herself that she was convincing herself that their relationship will soon be okay and that she knows her B would still be with her, though it's not that clear if B is still happy being with her.
Of course, in a relationship, it is really appropriate to talk to each other on what is wrong with them and have some understandings. It's not good to see that you are posting too much in facebook that will make more problem. Sometimes the more people knew the story, the worst the problem may cause. It's like a game where you are passing a message but then at the end of the line, different story appears.
Maybe they are not that emotionally and mentally intelligent to face the problem. Lack of communication sometimes may harm a relationship.
You are right that G maybe isn't intelligent enough emotionally to find a more polite and intelligent way of dealing with the problem. I guess she is just focused on herself that she was convincing herself that their relationship will soon be okay and that she knows her B would still be with her, though it's not that clear if B is still happy being with her.
Of course, in a relationship, it is really appropriate to talk to each other on what is wrong with them and have some understandings. It's not good to see that you are posting too much in facebook that will make more problem. Sometimes the more people knew the story, the worst the problem may cause. It's like a game where you are passing a message but then at the end of the line, different story appears.
Maybe they are not that emotionally and mentally intelligent to face the problem. Lack of communication sometimes may harm a relationship.