An adopted child grown up

I am adopted and when I was younger I though often of my birth parents and always just assumed I would meet them one day. I also have two adopted siblings who have no interest in finding their birth parents. I am lucky because my parents knew that there would likely be one day when one of us would want to find our birth parents and were prepared for that. Because of this, I feel fortunate that I can be open with them in my interests. However, now that I am older I see that my family I have now is my family. Yes, it would be interesting to know more about the history of the people I came from, but that isn't really MY history. I am very content now with where I am in life and don't think I will ever feel the need to find them. I very much love the parents that put me up for adoption because they made a difficult decision and also provided me with a better life. And I got one of the best lives I could imagine. I have a very happy family who would (and do) do anything for me that I need. Everyone isn't that lucky and I feel fortunate every day that my parents adopted me and gave me everything they have. Without them my life would be so different and maybe not as good as it is now.

I have a friend who adopted a baby girl and now the girl is 20 years old. My friend revealed to her adopted daughter about the situation when the girl turns 12. My friend asks her daughter if she wants to find who are her parents, but the girl refused. Now the girl is working and still living with my friend and seems she never had any urge to know and find her biological parents. Maybe that depends on each individual.

I have known several adopted people, most of them are now grown, but one is still a teen. I also used to work for the Texas Adoption Registry for a while, so I got to talk to a lot of people who both were adopted and gave up children. I heard a lot of stories while working for the registry and learned a lot about adoption in general and Texas adoption in particular. I have to say that infant adoptions tend to go better than those children adopted later. I saw many records, and even knew of a family of 3 siblings adopted later that had lots of problems, in part because they did love their parents and didn't think that the new adoptive parents could replace the parents that they were removed from. So, I think adoption is a great thing - and if the child is old enough to realize that their parents were failing as parents enough for them to be removed, or is an infant, then the adoptions tend to be better.

If I read this (again) I think it's useless to invest and pay so much money to adopt a child. They will always go back, live in the past, will seldom be happy what you did for them. I read about a columbian adopted guy who said Columbia is such a great country, he doesn't like to be here and he wants his adoption parents to pay for his travels over there (already adult too lazy to pay for himself). This all also reminds me of a chat I had with an African (old) man who said: never adopt a child. Don't invest in a kid of someone else. They won't be happy and will leave you as soon as they are grown up, they go back to their own family. I did not understand it at that moment.. now I do.