Can an intimate relationship strive if one partner is illmannered?

I was indeed surprised to know that my male friend's partner was a trained teacher, and I was shocked to witness that kind of offensive behavior that she displayed! Vicvista, now that I reflected on my friend's partner's behavior, and the status she should hold be in the society, allow me to 'vent' here, ok? Given my friend's partner's reality, I shudder to think that she has the requisite skills to teach and impart knowledge and information, instruct/guide impressionable minds; as well as to instill discipline to anyone in her charge. Even if she has completed her academic teaching qualifications, I do not think that she is a 'fit and proper' person to teach anyone. The more I think about the unfortunate situation that unfolded in my presence, the more furious I get with my friend's female partner- for the 'strange' behavior she exhibited! (I am venting again here, ok?) So angry and disappointed I am with her behavior, that I am tempted to encourage the authorities to prevent her from practising her craft. Why? I think that as a result of her unruly behavior that she displayed in public to her partner- she should be automatically 'stripped' of her accreditation- deeming her unfit to teach anyone.., even at the animals in the zoo. Phew, that's a mouthful of steam that was released, don't you think? Wow, having vented, I think that despite my strong point of view, I cannot interfere with the relationship that my friend and his female partner is having, and I have to restrain myself when contemplating interfering in anyone's job opportunities. In addition, this young lady is not the worse person in the world, and hopefully, she can correct that 'unsavory' habit before it leads to the demise of her relationship (or create problems in her professional life)

Thanks Vicvista, your comments are much appreciated.

I agree...maybe maturity will change her before damage is done professionally or personally. I bet you feel better for venting! I know I do listening to you! LOL Bravo! :)

Thanks for strident response.., I like it.

Was that strident? Haha. :)

Sid556, I tend to agree with you and Baby also. As a result, this is why the quest for love and the rationale behind the formation of intimate relationships appear to be (1)a mistery, (2)a puzzle to be solved, and (3) a continuous 'work in progress', overtime. Because of imperfect, private and confidential information that abounds within the realm of this -and any other- relationship that exist; nobody (but the couple involved) is privileged to know exactly what forms the unique criterion for forming this specific type of relationships between them.., however strange we see aspects of the relationship unfolding before our eyes. You raised an important point that suggests: 'If their love is worth keeping and nurturing, perhaps, given their uniqueness, over time- each of them could work out their differences, to the benefit of their relationship'. Perhaps, the couple is actively working on settleing their differences, so that their relationship may become a match made in heaven. Who else could know about their plans but them?

so true. I really believe that any couple, if dedicated enough to the relationship itself is capable of overcoming almost any differences. I have seen some of the most seemingly mismatched couples not only fall in love but years later are still madly in love. you just never know.

Hmmm. Cutie18f, your response is very 'pointed' indeed, and I like it. I agree that rudeness has no place in any relationship whatsoever. Thanks for your participation in this discussion.

It is interesting that you injected the element of time and patience into the mix. Both of these elements are very important in determining the level of maturity of the relationship, and as to whether the point is reached for the relationship to be elevated to another level (such as moving from dating to courtship, or to getting married, or infusing additional romantic enhancing acts of commitment to each other, etc.) However, while waiting for the 'transformation acts' to materialize, Musicloverfriend, you are correct in suggesting that he has to try to be 'charming' with her or anyone who has to share their private space with his partner; so that his charm can be used to postpone any acts of frustration that may try to creep into the mix. This tactical approach of being charming is necessary to be employed, especially when the 'innocent party' has to endure any moment of social or personal embarrassment caused by his partner to him and his/her friends. In my opinion, In this society, being illmannered and being in an intimate relationship -without additional help and tactical manipulation tools available to employed at a 'moment's notice' -can make the survival of such a relationship a 'challenging proposition' indeed.

WakeUpKitty, you are correct. Given that this world has a diversity of persons who possess varied personalities, it is true that there are persons in this world who (for strange reasons) cherish being humiliated in public. Yor're correct again when you reminded me that I could'nt know what prior events had occurred between them that lead to my friend's partner's behavior being dislpayed to my male friend, at that time. Anyway, at a later date, he told me that he noted my reaction to the events that occurred in my presence- to which he apologized - and he assurred me that he'll deal with it. That's all I could do.., and since he is involved with this lady (who is his partner), I trust that they will sort out whatever it is (was) that needed to be addrssed.

I admire your approach to this topic. Indeed, I agree that none of us can: (1) determine how long their relationship will last, or ;(2) set the standards to be upheld, or; (3)determine the 'quality of the relationship interractions that obtains. All these attributes have to be instituted by both persons; not by me or anyone else! Although, based on my limited exposure to aspects of my friend's relationship with his lady, I do not have the right to interfere into their relationship matters without their expressed request/invitation! BabyEj, I also agree with your argument that both persons must have come together, and done things that would be beneficial to each other. As a result, for example, I could'nt know what things were already worked out by them (privately) prior to that time that I witnessed then; resulting in her 'objectionable' behavior. In addition, I could not know if both parties had already established a 'parameter of latitude' that allows for a relative 'relaxation' of the traditional 'social graces'; and I cannot know if those behaviors actually stimulate, or massage the pleasures of their relationship. On a different note, may I ask you something? Given that my friend's partner is a teacher by profession, should'nt that reality impact how she performs socially- based on her academic/professional ethics and training acumen-especially when mannerly behavior are expected but not delivered at all times? Is there a link between the success of a relationship, and the 'open' expressions of social graces towards each partner in such a relationship?