I want to scold my own mother.

I agree with the others that have responded here. I am assuming that you are an adult and therefore, it is not your place to get after your mom for personal decisions that she makes regardless of how wrong they may seem to you. You are entitled to your opinion of course but it is your mom's life and her choices and her consequences to bear if those are poor choices. I do understand your feelings. My girls would probably feel the seem if I were to suddenly start dating a married man. Still, it would be MY choice. They would not have to be supportive of my choice but I would hope that they would still be supportive of me and not let it come between us.

Mother's day is coming this week so it is nice to talk about mothers. I also want to scold my own mother many many times. I attempted before but it is not a good idea. I ended up having severe headaches and heartaches. You can just remind her, don't attempt to scold her or use harsh words. Try to understand her as much as you could. Sometimes I am annoyed with my mother too but I have to be patient and just stay away for a while from her or I might say something not nice and she will surely slap my face.

I think it's you who are in the wrong. Are you perfect? Have you never, ever done something wrong? Have you never, ever made a mistake? Where is your loyalty to your mother? It matters not what she is doing, she will be judged when her time comes. Your mother has needs and maybe those needs are being filled. It's really none of your business. I think you are a horrible person and a worse daughter to be telling the world what your mother is doing. Leave her alone and go and clean your own house.

It hurts to read your story. Had it been anyone else i would have adviced you to ignore her. But being your mother you need to handle with care. Anyway at the age of 60 plus she is not going to change. Why dont you just shut your mind off her and think of your own work. I know its easy said than done. But then you dont have many options either. Quarelling with her i dont think will help much

It is quite normal for you to feel that way after all behind the thought is your love and concern for her. It's not so easy to see our parents misbehaving but remember that she will not listen to you at this point since by scolding her you are reversing your roles as parent and son. I am neither siding with you on this issue. I have similar experience with my Mom but on a different level. Anyways by praying for her and me, I have come to realize that I can accept her as she is even if it is disappointing at times. Your mom might be reliving her past because that's where she feels loved. Maybe its time to show more understanding and love even its not that easy. Remember her good qualities and focus on those instead of the negatives. When you talk with her tell her your concern as her son. She might likely listen when you are not shouting.

i think you shouldn't scold your mother. since we know that love is blind, and the man you mention is her first love, so your mother will not listen to your advise. what you can do is keep on talking with your mother but don't end up with fighting. i know it is so annoying if they don't want to listen to other advise. just calm down yourself, let the time to prove everything

I am sorry your mother was deceived into such a relationship, but it is her right to choose. I hope she comes to understand that there is nothing to be gained in this relationship.

Airkulet, I understand your hurt and pain but only one solution that is a sure proof to end this situation and that is PRAYER. This method of dealing with this problem is the best. I have read some of the suggestions and prayer is key. You care and love her but you can only pray. At 63 years she is set in her ways. Clearly she has not made a decision to be a christian so it is going to be difficult to think of of the well being of a family. Perhaps you can point out to her if she would like to be sick in bed and another woman deprive her from the care needed. I noted that you said that you are depressed. You are taking on the issue in a unhealthy way. You in your strength cannot fight this battle it is a spiritual warfare. Pray do not go under with the problem but go to the Lord Jesus Christ. He can deliver.

I can understand how you feel ashamed about this matter. Not to mention that aside from being mistress your mom might end up with nothing if she continues to spend her money for this guy who seems taking advantage of her situation. I am not in any position to judge your mom or the man- but, I hope your mom can find another guy who is single/free and has something to say in life (assets and money) You should protect your mom, she's blindly in love and she needs your guidance at this moment. Maybe she's not listening to you right now, but never leave her that way. Yes, you can scold her if it is needed. You can always say what you want if that is the only way to open her eyes and make her realize she is wasting her life,time and money with that guy. Pray and hope everything will be alright soon :)

Hello Airkulet, I hope my mom doesn't do something like that, lucky for me though she is at the same age and she is living with working on religious organizations and other groups to keep her mind busy. probably lucky for me because I have always consider her a very socialite person and has more friends to dwell on rather than guys. you're situation is kinda sad, i think you need to be kinda silent on this when ever she ever brings it up so that she would know how upset you can be.

I hope you don't need to scold your mother since it'll end up in fighting. You need to prove that the man isn't really good, and try to persuade your mother by putting her in the man's wife position and feeling (in this case, I don't think any women want their husband married another woman). Hope you luck.

There is no easy way around this to be honest because you don't really have grounds to tell her what she should be deciding to do. At her older age, 63, she is obviously going into the situation with her eyes wide open. I know a person who makes it a habit to date two women at the same time, tells them both of the other woman and expects them BOTH to accept it. That's even more troublesome than your mother. You are not going to be able to dissuade her from this relationship because as far as I can tell she knows exactly what she is doing.

As much as we would all like to be able to slap our parents for doing something stupid we cannot. Put yourself in her shoes I'm sure growing up you dated some questionable characters that she did not approve of. If she had forbid you top stop seeing that person or stopped speaking to you because of it how would you feel? She is an adult women looking for companionship and who she chooses is her problem. How she spends the money is her problem. Your father left it behind for her to do with as she see fit to do. To save your relationship I would tell her that he is not a man you want around so when she is visiting with you he does not need to be around. Tel her that you have no desire too speak about there relationship and to please keep him and his family out of your families life and that you still love and respect her as a mother but want no part in her love life. If she cannot respect that then let it go and continue to love and support her from a distance.

Having a relationship with a married guy is a no for me. But you can always tell her, and make her understand about what situation she's in. Of course we wanted our mother to feel happy, but in a good way, and in harmony with things that is right. I hope she gets to understand it soon. :)

It's great that your Mom want's to move on and find someone else to spend her days with. But I agree finding a long lost love who is MARRIED is not the way to go! Not only is she upsetting her own family but throwing a wrench in another. Sadly that's how people get disowned from their families.

I agree with you that I do not think it is right of her to date a married man ... as long as he is still with his wife (you can be married but be separated, and I think that is an entirely different situation). However, I also agree with the other responders that she is an adult, and it is not your place to tell her what she can and cannot do. Of course, you can talk with her and tell her your concerns, but ultimately the decision of what she will do is hers and you need to accept it. How would you feel if she was still trying to make you do what she thought you should do, even though you are an adult? Now, think about the fact that she raised you and it was her job to help you make the right decisions for many years, but eventually she had to let go and allow you to make your own decisions - that is what you need to do for her right now.

This is one tough situation. I agree with others that we should not interfere with whatever she wants to do with her life since she is your mom. On the other hand, I also agree with you that you are just trying to put her away from the married guy whose family is already threatening you, I read your reply from others. I think it is better you sit and talk with her. Tell her all those things. Talk to her in a calm way so that she won't feel that you're stepping on her ego. Talk to her in a way that will make her feel that you are just concerned about her. Hope that she'll listen to you.

Can you give your mom the happiness she gains from being in love with this man? Don't begrudge her the life that she wants to live. It does not mean that your mom has no right to fall in love at her age since love does not consider age, religion or whatever the rest of us thinks of. She is an adult and knows wrong from right. Your mom is happy with her love life, so let her be. She has her own mind and you should be happy for her. Be a a good child and try to understand her and the situation.

I'm not saying that there is nothing wrong with what your mom is doing but in my own opinion she is old enough to decide what she wants. I think both of you have concerns here. You are concerned about your mom and what other people's reaction to it. And your mom care only for the love of her life. Whatever the case be it wrong or right, if you cannot change the mind of your mom let all things take place as it is. But don't scold her, we have no right to do that to our mom. she still you mom that deserves respect.

I sorry for your problems as i am grateful i don't have the problem like yours. But i have the same attention as yours, maybe not to scold, but actually have to to listen my though about what she is doing. My mother is being really unfair with my siblings and my oldest brother. She gave my oldest brother all the freedom like normal teenagers but not to me and other siblings. She had me to do all the housework like a maid unfortunately but never ask my oldest brother to do anything. He just do his things and hang out with his friends having fun. Where i would always have to do all the work and stay at home, i don't know, sometimes even massage her. Everytime i ask her to go out, she will ask me these series of question and in the end, if she allow me, she would give me about 1-2 hours max and she expect me to be home at the time. I am a guy and 18 by the way.