I lost my grandson before he was even born

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}...no words that can ever console you on this one...just time. I lost a baby at 4 months along years ago and it was rough. Rougher still was when my daughter lost hers at a bit over 4 months. Same thing as your DIL. I was sitting with her when they did the ultra sound and saw the puzzled look on the Nurses face and then she left and came back with another nurse. My heart sank..I just knew. Losing a grandchild was rough but seeing my daughter so crushed...can't describe it. On a Lighter note...exactly a year from that date...she gave birth to a very healthy baby boy who is now 14 months old and we love him to pieces.

It's really hard to deal with, but I have learned that crying is good, and focusing on what you are doing right now is better. From personal experince, I tried to hold back the tears, to push all of my raging emotions as 'irrational' but that is not really the case, they are founded in something and when you let it all out you will find you feel better, but don't stop living. WHEN you go grocery shopping, if you break down in the middle of the store, don't mind the people around you, just let it out stand up and keep going. The guilt is the worst but it fades as the intial shock and pain goes away, then you will look back and wonder why you felt guilty at all. I wasn't in your postion exactly so I really can't offer any words beyond it WILL get better, as long as you don't let it eat away at you. Trust me when I say trying to ignor or rapidly deal with things of this nature only hurts you in the long end, and if you son and daughter in law sees that you are suffering they will feel bad too. Greive with them, not for them and be there, even if its just a 30 second call to say 'I love you' it is what you all need. (The calls are the best, my mom is a genious, cuz when I didn't answer my phone she'd leave me messages, simply to say she les me!) Be strong and know we are here for you!

I know I'm lagging a bit behind in this, but my condolences.. I know how much a new babe is looked forward to.. You will of course have that baby after the resurrection and I hope that has given you comfort. God bless..

Personally this is a hard thing, and Sorry for your loss. I was unable to have any kids as I had 4 miscarriages so I know the pain. My thoughts and Prayers are with your Son and DIL and in time this too shall pass.

I am sorry to learn this.Needless to say,It gave you much pain to learn of the sad news.There is no need for you to blame yourself for.You haven't been expecting it at all.And that I guess the reason why you weren't at your son's at that point is that you were busy selling your house.Judging by what you said about the umbilical cord strangling your grandson,maybe It had to do with position of foetus.

Dearest dragon54u, I am so sorry you are going through this. I dont have kids so I will never go through exactly this. But went through something awful last year too when my elderly friend who was like a Mom to me passed away of cancer. She could not fight the cancer coming the second time around longer than about 10 months. She lived a 5 hour drive from us and I had visited her as soon as we knew that darn cancer was back. Oh how I longed to see her more and help her through but circumstances did not permit. I thought of her a lot, wrote encouraging daily cards to her when she coped with sort of chemo which made her tired and sent her flowers several times to brighten up her time here but couldnt be there in person. I am still feeling guilty almost a year later.......but I was in a situation where I was between a rock and a hard place.

Dragon54u, I send my best wishes and thoughts your way this evening, and hope that your pain recedes in time. To your son and his parter as well of course. I haven't been through this myself, but my heart contracts whenever I hear such a story. I think guilt is a normal emotion, however irrational it may be. Please don't be ashamed to grieve.

I am very sorry to hear about your DIL`s losing the baby before birth.Such things do happen and there is no use blaming anyone or feeling guilty about it.Perhaps it was not the correct time for the child to come into the Earth.Perhaps the Soul that was to take birth must have felt that it had not chosen the correct parents or maybe it was still needed in the afterlife.I am sure your son will become a father and that too very soon.One should not mourn because it must have been God`s wish and He will definitely see that you become a granny in the near future. So pull up your socks and give all your love and support to the young people as they need it badly at this stage.Be brave.

I'm sorry for your loss.

So sad and sorry for you girl. Thank God ive not had such a dreadful experience with a baby. But i do know a lady that has went through it 3 times and the pain gets a bit better but of course she still thinks of them at times on what would be a birthday or something. but now she has other grandkids that eases the pain and im sure you will have some that will also. I have lost loved ones and still feel guilt over what i could not have likely changed. I think its just a natural reaction on our part because of the love.

This is one of those times whe you just have to let it go, no one could have done anything that would have changed anything. This small, short life brought love to all and there is no taking that away, pain is a perfectly acceptable response toward this happening. For me things like this reinforce my belief in Karma, the thought that maybe all that life needed was a very short time to learn what needed to be learned is of comfort to me. Whatever you believe know that any love given cannot be wrong. Blessings

I am so so sorry for your loss. I have never experienced that, so I cannot imagine the pain that you are experiencing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Really very sad, sorry dear. Feeling very unhappy and sad. So, I am leaving for a while.

its the most painful part to see your child in such condition.RIP

I am so sorry. I never had to deal with that. It will take some time for all of you to deal with. It is natural to be so sad. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

so sad