My "girlfriend" called me her "friend" in a private discussion.

I know it's difficult, but I am from the Philippines and indeed there are a lot of scammers here. These are mostly those women who seem to have a lot of time online and they have a lot of boyfriends or online chatmates. One thing that I could assure you, so that you'll know if it's for real or not is: 1. Does she ask for money? If she does, then that's a tip for you. But if you've not given her anything, then she might not be a scammer after all. 2. Does she keep on saying that she wants to be with you in your country? These people are only looking for ways to get out of this country because they think that their lives would be better if they're in a first-world country. It doesn't matter to them who takes them there as long as they could go anywhere else. 3. Have you ever met her in real life? If the answer is NO, then you're on dangerous ground. 4. Does she have a job? If she doesn't then perhaps she's doing this full-time (chatting with people). A person with a job could not spend too much time online and thus has her own career thus is perhaps looking for real love. I know it seems a lot, but you know what, Filipinas are known to have the 'charm' to woo guys online. We are sweet, and very beautiful. But there are those who are 'real' while those who are only in it for the money. If you've answered YES to the question of giving money or supporting her in some ways. You need to stop and just forget the whole thing. I have known of a person before who would go to Western Union Money Transfer almost everyday. When I inquired her about it, she merely told me that she had a lot of 'guys' supporting her. When I dug deeper, I found out that she had a lot of foreign 'boyfriends' who'd send her money every week. Though I may sound harsh, don't over generalize things because not all Filipinas are like that. You will know if she really loves you if she's willing that you be introduced to her family and friends. Anyway, just don't be blinded and be objective about it. The best way for you to do this is to confront but if you're not the type of person who would confront then just stop sending money. She would instantly change the moment you stop sending her anything. Good luck! Have a great Mylot experience ahead!

I am in a similar situation, I won't lie to that. But I see one way I can go around your situation, that is if I read what you said correctly. Did you say that you also over heard they talking and you heard that. Or did you just hear when your friend told you? If you over heard then you can use that as a way to confront her. What do you think about that. If you don't want to take that route then you are going to have to get rid of that shyness, And say the person she was talking to was your very close friend. And like a friend will be, she will be honest and wont hide anything from you. Then you can ask her to calmly explain her self when she said you two were just friends. Maybe she have a valid reason for it, like in my situation below. Or maybe she is just hiding something. The fact about this is that she will always try to come up with a reason if it is a lie. That is one more reason I am afraid of this method. You are going to have to be under her skin if you want to get out the truth. But not under her skin so such that you start to feel annoying. Just under the skin to the extent where she can really see that you care, and you just want true answers. For my situation, my fiancee gave me her facebook email and password to message someone for her. But all of a sudden in the mid process a message came up from a close friend of her, and I was just about to message back saying it is not her in her profile at the moment when I glimpse up and saw there previous discussion saying that we are just friends and nothing more. I felt bad. So I really wanted to confront her. She is doing exams now so I decided I won't confront her now for the reason that, I don't want this problem mess with her exams if you get what I mean. I still ask people for advise because I honestly don't know what to do. Someone gave me a new look on things. They say to me that probably my fiancee didn't want her close friends to know that we are talking and it could be for many reasons. It could possibly bring in more problem or on another term maybe my fiancee didn't know if I would be okay telling her. The person I was getting advise from was saying it could be a lot of valid reasons. And I wont know for sure unless I confront her but I should just wait until exams finish. But the more I wait the more I feel to just forget the situation because it seem as if everything is going perfect around now. And I am afraid to start up a big argument that might not be necessary now in time.

Hi Cody as I read all of the responders above and your answers to them It seems your both fine now and she already clear up your question. I just wish you good luck when you visit here in my country. I'm a Filipina too and I know lots of friends who has a foreign fiancee too. I will not deny the thing that some Filipina are really looking for someone who are in the foreign country just to get out them from poverty and have a better life outside the country. Just a little piece of advice I don't want to judge anyone specially your girl. Just follow your heart when you see her on August, if you really love her you will accept her. I just hope she is really true to you.

Did you not doubt that lady friend who squeal about what they are talking about? Did she showed you proof that your fiancee indeed called you just a friend? If you trust your fiancee then talk to her about that. Open communication is very important in any relationship, you need to be true to what you feel and if you are in doubt then tell her how you feel. I do hope you can fix things out with her.

You know if they love you they smile a lot at the most stupid thing you do.Have you ever noticed her smiling at the stupid side of you?

You can not make a decision on your 'fiancee' based on 2 words told by somebody else. It shows that the relationship that you have is very weak and fragile. Are you sure that she is the one that you want to be growing old together? How did you two become engaged in the first place - seeing you feeling so unsecured? Anyway, don't assume. You must have a heart to heart talk with her to find out what she has in her mind about you two and your future. Sometimes people make mistakes unintentionally. It was just 2 words. She may not mean anything but you just read too much into it. Things may not be what you are thinking. Clarify it with her.

That is sad cody but one way to end this problem is to confront her, you might not like the end...or this just might be a misinterpretation, atleast you know the truth. Talk to her sincerely about it and talk from your heart. I hope she is not being a scammer as it is pretty embarrassing for us Filipinos!

Sorry to hear about this. I have a friend who also found her love thru net and they are planning to get marry soon. The guy already come here in the Philippines and we are happy for them. In your case,the best thing you should do is ask your gf if she's really serious about your relationship. There is no assurance in any relationship- unless proven. Why not come and visit her to feel how sincere she is.

maybe you can ask her about it, your fiance, maybe she was just scared that the people might judge her. Since that is the trend here, usually some girls just get foreign boyfriends for their money.. but there are some that are really in love. I hope you two can work it out.. good luck.

I don't know what to say but are you really sure that you have understood each other that she wants to marry you? You should try to talk things to her and be a man. you have to know the truth if she really loves you or not. you have to face her and tell her in your own little way how you really feel and tell her if you have to stop being with each other or what...

Ask her what she meant by GOOD FRIEND. Only by that confrontation, you will learn and know how you are to her.You cant just keep it to yourself forever, how will you ever know what you are to her? If thats all you are to her, then atleast you can stop it right there and not waste time on her anymore and look for someone who will value you.

First of all I wonder if you are overreacting. In my language there is no difference between the word: boyfriend and friend. It also says nothing about having a (closer) relationship. The word friend in my language also means: a male friend. So we do not use that word for a female. I don't know how it is your gf's language? Also there can be plenty of other reasons why she doesn't like to shout out through the whole world what you are or not are. This besides of the fact this lady already knew and a fiance is a friend (or boyfriend) too. I don't understand why you want her to say or call you a fiance. We even don't use that word anymore. It's boyfriend (well in my language friend) unless you are married. You can make a big scene out of nothing, look for reason and if you look long enough you will surely find a lot that doesn't make sense to you or give you doubts or whatever. Personally I would not call you my fiance since it means nothing to me and you can dump me at any time. I wonder why you want to be her fiance and not just get married if you love her. What does that so called period of "fiance" means? Also..skype is not a private discussion if you talk with more as one person plus you talk to someone who already knows both of you. If you really want to know what is going on you better ask your gf or fiancee

Since you only heard it from her friend, it's best if you talk to her about it, seriously. You never know, her friend may be the one playing both of you. Just ask her straight about it, not in a condemning way, but get her to explain why she would do such a denial about your supposed engagement.

Well, you not telling her what's on your mind is no way to help the relationship and it won't improve you as a person or a fiance for the next lady. If you can't or won't communicate with her openly and she can't communicate with you openly then your relationship was doomed from the start. Don't think of it as confrontation. Think of it as you growing as a person and being willing to be open and honest. You have to know the truth for your sake and hers. Perhaps you'll be feel relieved by having the truth revealed. Then, you can move on with your lives. Please, don't just walk away! You'll be doing both of you "wrong"!!!!

You will not know unless you ask her. Have you ever met her in person? Does she have you buy expensive things for her and send her money all the time? Then it might be a scam. On the other hand, it may be a cultural behavior, or even a modest behavior. My mom often referred to my first fiance as my "friend". You have to be brave and tell her that you have heard that she only refers to you as a friend and ask why that is the case.

wow! how long have you been in a relationship with each other. it sounds like it is still quite new. this is a sign that perhaps you should put the breaks on things. i am not saying to break up with her, until you know what's going on. i am just saying that maybe you should take the relationship down a notch or two. she may not be ready and may not be able to tell you that she is not ready. or it may not be that. me and my husband do fb together. i have a relationship status as married and so does he, we just don't tag each other in the relationship with other. this is because we try to keep a certain level of anonymity online. we have our reasons. maybe she just doesn't want anyone to peg her for who she is online. certain facts you give about yourself could lead someone to know who you are, if you want to be anonymous online. could this be the case? in any event, i say you have to talk to her. you it's to serious to do your usual cold feet thing. trust me, you don't want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to you , just because both of you were to afraid to open your mouth. just ask her straight out. "why do you claim us as just friend online, baby"?. just say that you are curious and want to know because you are afraid it means she doesn't view your relationship the same way. see what she says now, because the long you wait is the more you won't get the answer before it's too late. good luck to you. keep us posted.

Hi CODY, I am so sorry. I think you need to talk with your girlfriend. It is important that you know where you stand. She owes it to you to give you an honest answer.

Sorry to hear that you are in a difficult situation. As with the others, I suggest you talk to her about it. Start by telling her that you found out she called you a "friend". Then ask her why. I don't think that you should just walk away without letter her know that she has hurt you somehow. It's best if you two talk about it first so at least you'll know both sides of the story. I would suggest that you talk to her about it on skype (or video call) so you can see her face and her reactions while you talk about it. Her facial expressions or actions may help you judge whether she is telling you the truth or not. I know you believe your relationship is worth the risk of a fight. Hoping for the best for you!

You should talk to her about how you feel. Ask her how she views your relationship and what she tells people when she talks to them about you. I hope that she will be honest with you and either you can improve your relationship or move on and find someone who will care about you. Sorry to hear that you are going through all of that.

That's very sad and I understand you're heartbroken. I think the best thing you can do is to talk to her about it, if you love her and want to avoid getting hurt talk to her about it. Since you heard you can tell her why she said you were just a friend. If you don't confront her you're never going to know if she actually had a good solid reason why she said you were her friend. I knwo you don't want to confront her but honestly you should, because if you let it go right now you will let her get away with things if you guys end in a marriage. Have a nice day and Cheer Up.