Should she separate from her husband?

We cannot suggest a friend to get marry or to get a divorce. We can only suggest them how to overcome their problem which is in this case husband should stop drinking and try to get a monthly paid job. Being in debts in the story of most working people, being lazy in doing household chores is a man treat, so I guess both are tolerable as long as you can pay the debt and you know who will do the chores.

Oh, i think she really should leave her husband. It would have been okay if they have a nice marriage and neither of them had vices, but then the husband doesn't even help in their situation..

Its a very unfortunate situation.Your friend is very brave to have to put up with such a type of person.Shr must be having a lot of patience otherwise she would have left him long ago.However there is a limit to everything.It is time for her to give him an ultimatum,either improve or she will leave him.He has to understand that to make a marriage succesful both partners have to put in their bit and share all the joys and sorrows together.Otherwise the marriage will be on the rocks and result in seperation.It looks like this one is on the way.It would be good for your friend to move to her parents house for a short period and see whether her husband will mend his ways.If he does then its good for both or else the inevitable has to take place.

I know living on a part-time income it is hard to pay the bills (randy worked part-time) and I was attending school full-time, but with careful planning it can be done. It is not your friend's husband's fault that he does not get paid every month, however your friend's husband should help around the house. I am in college and when we lived on our own I would leave a list of things that needed to be done and he would do them. I think it is great that your friend is able to find part-time work so she can help out the family, however she should not have to do the household chores herself. I think she needs to get help for her husband, but they should work hard on their marriage.

That would be an extremely frustrating situation. Sorry to hear that she is having such a hard time. I too agree with a lot of the other comments that her husband needs to help out. He needs to make wise decisions about how he uses the families resources and help her take care of the baby. Even though these things may be true it is hard to get a person to do what they should.

i think it is better to separate from that husband if he continuesly doing like this with out doing any thing and completely enjoying his life and nothing to be done in favour of his home means it is better to separate from him. she should require a moral support from his parents and friends before that , then only she should get sustained in the society with out the need of his husband . if she is unable to do so then it is better to get remarried and then she can live like her own wish and i can think like that . ok be pre well planned my dear friend .

i have known many cases like that and worst they're my friends. other couples settle in a very unhappy ending thus their children got the bad effects. if your friend had tried talking to her husband about those matters and still there were no results then i guess it's hightime for her to look for a permanent job and leave his husband for good. she should realized that it would be a lifetime suffering for her.shame to husbands like that.they're not worthy of care and love.

The decision is up to her, there are many consequences if she leaves his husband. If she can stand on her own without the support of the father of his kid well she can leave his husband, but it not maybe she can stay. I suffered of 15 years living together with my ex, although he is responsible enough for our needs he is also has many bad habit. I also work to support my other daughter from my former husband before him. We also have a daughter. Although we are fortunate enough for our needs we still don't have saving because of his vices. Our work together is not also stable we earn big money but only seasonal and with regular clients. In other words we don't have future with him. We don't have savings, we don't own a house or any we can save for the future. I have to decide for my own. I wish it when were only 5 years living together I suffered enough until I decided to left him after 15 yrs. Because now I can stand alone without him even I can provide now the needs of my daughter. That's what I'm telling you about your friend she must consider a lot of things if she want to go away with her husband. If she can provide and stand alone without the help pf her husband she can go and leave him.

seperation is not the solution. they need counselling. talk to her hubby and say how she feel, not about the faults of the hubby, this may result to an argue and misunderstanding.

With his kind of attitude, there should be some drastic measures that should be considered so as to cause change in his attitude or behavior. Although, i think a heart-to-heart talk between the couple should transpire so as to resolve the issue, but if things do not work out, then the option of separating would surely be a good alternative.

They should talk about. If its all about the money it will easier to fix provided they will be willing to address the problem. They should both work in relationship to be able to succeed. Looks like the husband is acting like a happy go lucky boy. The wife should talk to him about it because it is not healthy for her to do all the works.

Your friend for sure is not in the best situation possible but seperating is a very big question and could only complicate matters futher. She should talk to him about things and also about getting things back to normal. If things still dont work out after a few months then taking the decision of seperation may not be the worst option, cause by doing so he might realise what he has lost and that could bring about a chnage in him..

Husband should be the one who should take the responsibility of the home. He should care his family withe money he earns. There may be situations where a husband cannot take such duties and divorces is not the good way for it. A person can be truly changed within a small seconds. The only thing we can do is pray to god to create a change in his life. Remember divorces will creates a problem to his child. A child should be grown up by giving both love and care by both the parents.

That is a sad situation to be in. But I think separation is not the instant resolution to problems like this. Have your friend talked to her husband yet about how she feels with their situation. Some problems can be solved with communication. Who knows, the husband will eventually change once your friend speak up. In the event that nothing will change after all the talks, that is the time when your friend should consider the thought of separation. But then there are a lot of things to consider still. I hope your friend would be able to surpass this hard times.

I think your friends husband needs to find another job where he gets paid regular. That kind of job is okay for someone without a family but just makes no sense for a family man. I wouldn't necessarily say get a divorce because of the job but maybe because of the man being lazy with a drinking problem. Maybe it is time your friend give that man an ultimatum, they don't always work but sometimes it's enough to change things when one comes to the realization that they could lose the one thing important to them. Family.

her hb needs a kick at back....

It is sad to hear this story. I know that life is up and down...however if that man cant earn money now, he should help his wife to do house work while she is going out to earn money. He should know to share works with his wife and together pass this hard time. The wife should talk to her husband to make he understand and sharing works with her. I hope they have a marriage life back.

Hello, annierose. I would say that he needs to get his act together, soon, and be a man. I know most guys think that housework is mostly for women, but really? I live alone, and my apartment is clean all of the time. I hate it when things even START to get in a pile. If I were you, I would have a conversation with your lady friend, and have her talk to her husband politely and let him know that helping with the house work would hepl her out a ton. Plus, his drinking is not helping out matters. Just get your friend to listen, and see if she can maybe encourage her husband, not nag. Guys like to be praised for their hard work and accomplishments. I am not saying go overboard with it, but it is a place to start. Have a great day..

is a difficult decision, it really looks like only they know themselves, or need to shake this guy or leave him, but the fault lies in the middle.