We Can Give a Kid Some Kind Of Freedom
By MoonGypsy
@MoonGypsy (4606)
United States
May 15, 2012 1:12am CST
my son is 13 years old. he has a facebook account, but my husband and i have the his log in info. we can check his account at anytime. my son home schools so, it's not like he has access to any of these facebook friends he has online. now my husband knows this. why is he going through my son's facebook account trying to find a problem to start with him about. i know everybody has different parenting styles. my parents were just too strict, it cause me to rebel and go towards the things they wanted me to avoid. this is because it seemed like they were always trying to catch me. i hated that. i know my son hates that too. my husband has that kind of personality in general. he loves to be the detective and he loves to catch people. this is both him and his sister. they grew up having to put up with that. i resent my son having too. maybe i am just having a flash back from my youth. maybe my husband is right and you need to be on someone my son's age. i don't know. i am not even 30 and i have a teenager.
7 responses
@sishy7 (27167)
• Australia
16 May 12
Since their early age, we’re quite strict with our children. They had limited and monitored access to TV, games, and internet. We tried to focus their time and attention mostly to their studies. They are now teenagers; as they grow up and become more independent, we cannot always tell them what to do and we have to give them some trust. Hopefully, by then though, they have learned enough about responsibility and gained the ability to manage their own time wisely.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
16 May 12
my son is very smart and he is a good kid. he is not like all the other kids out there, so i don't think we have anything to worry about. i could understand if he wasn't home schooled, but he is. i trust that he will carry the values that we instill in him, when he is on his own. i think when parents are over protective it comes from them not having faith in their parenting. that's what i went through with my parents.
1 person likes this
You're right, we're quite over protective with our first born; and in hindsight, it probably has a lot to do with, as you mentioned, "not having faith in (our) parenting" in the beginning...
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
16 May 12
Hi,
With the times more advanced, we need to give our children freedom so that they learn things on their own. Having a regular check on them is definitely going to help us (parents) in a better way. My daughter 14 also has an FB id and i helped her create id, teach her the do's and don'ts. Since she is very friendly to me and shares all the gossips with me and till now (touchwood) i haven't seen her misusing the freedom we have given. If we are friendly with them, they don't hesitate to share their feelings or issues with us.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
16 May 12
that is what i would suggest to my husband. instead of making it seem like he is trying to invade his privacy, act like he is interested and wants to get involved in whatever he is into...without seeming to pushy, of course.
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
15 May 12
Well i guess for starters you could talk to your husband about it.. tell him what you think of what he have been doing, like it is not right to open your son's account as he is in his teens and needs privacy.
I am also a young mom and i did rebel too as my parents were that strict and i try my best to be better for my children.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
16 May 12
well, i understand that his father is just trying to protect him. there are some really dangerous things out there in cyber space, that i don't think my son is mature or experienced enough to handle. we don't wan to control him, we just want him to be safe. i think it's the same for your parents. they are always going to want to do that. no matter how old you are. it's just now, you're still young enough for them to have some control a bit longer.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
15 May 12
Not being 30 and having a teenager is fine. What I do with my husband when he starts acting like his dad is I tell him your acting and sounding like your father and you don't want to be like that at all. Some times that helps you remember what it was like for yourself. You are correct even though you can check it and your son can delete things when your not looking on his Facebook doesn't mean that there is something there. If you let him be open to the both of you I'm sure he'll tell you what's on his mind to what is bothering him. Giving him a little space is what teens want. They like to be treated as those they are adults and giving a little bit of that adult space and trust builds up there confidence not only in themselves but in your as parents that they can come to you with anything weather its online or offline. Some times it takes someone to remind you of what it was like to thinking how is this affecting me child when I act like this or I do this when its there stuff.
@thedoctorrr (64)
• United States
15 May 12
He sounds like a good kid that deserves more trust than his father is giving him. I'd say give him a little wiggle room.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
15 May 12
I am fairly sure that a child is supposed to be 14 before they are allowed to open up a Facebook account, and I do think that this is the case for a reason. While I do understand that you would like to keep an eye on the things that your son is doing on the internet, I don't really think that you should be checking his account because this is a breach of his privacy, and even children are allowed that. You should monitor him while he is on the internet, but that involves being in the room not reading everything that he is sending to his friends.
