Mom's really angry!

I say that a lot about two very good friends of mine, they are Too nice for their own good sometimes. They try to help others and end up getting screwed by who they are trying to help. I understand wanting to help others, but just becareful of who it is you're helping. Moving on is the thing to do, not so sure about the forgiving part, unless it is part of 'forgive and forget'. When someone wants major help from me, I have to ask myself one thing, 'would they jump and do the same for me?' I have a few good friends, that I would do anything for without a hesitation and no 'what's in it for me', because I know that if something happened and I needed their help they would do the same for me.

You did it right! I don't think you're wrong to forgive and forget what your friend did it to you. And besides just take the incidents as a lesson for so many reasons it might happened again with some other person. You have a good heart and that will bring you enormous benefits as well as your mom. Have a nice day!

Forgive, as it would only hurt you to carry the burden of unforgiveness. However do remember this lesson and if asked again, think of a way to help without leaving yourself out on a limb. Calm your mother down as best you can, as she really cares about you, but dwelling on the negative will only hurt her in the long run. Be at peace with what has happened.

Hi Justcrafttalk, we are about the same age..I'll be 56 next week. I think our mom's probably came from the same school of thought?? My mom used to say that to me all the time. I just could not stay mad at someone. I learned from the experience though and mostly something about the person. I can't hold grudges and I don't feel it is healthy to. I get angry and then I get over it and I make peace with the person that has skrewed me over. We won't be as close and I won't be as trusting with that person again but I don't see the point in being bitter and angry. I do know what your mom is saying. People who are so nice that they go out of their way and do things that others would say no to...lend money when others would not...well, those are the people that get sht on more than others so yes..I get where your mom is coming from. On the other hand, we are the ones that get to meet the ones that truly appreciate what we do and love us for it. Those are the ones that will be there for us if we ever (and we probably will) be in need. If we didn't take the risk of getting skrewed over, we'd never meet these people. The people that put us down for being "too nice" just don't have a clue to what they are missing out on.

You said it yourself. You can get over it and starting a new leaf in life at any age is never too late. What is important is to never give up in spite of adversities. Move on.

Yes it is possible to be too nice. My dad and I are two examples of it here at home. Thus we get run over by the other two here that are not too nice. They are downright rude in fact at times. Just today my mom was furious with dad just cause he had asked her to call him when she's ready to go to the PO, like she always does with him. Today though she got some kind of "energy" booster so to speak and started cleaning the bathroom really early before her hours of TV shows started, and I couldn't understand her. She has been complaining about anything and everything lately again anyways after a month without it after she found out I had a cyst on my ovary. I knew it wouldn't last. Besides the fact she is not taking her high blood pressure pills this week due to the insurance saying she can't have them just yet again. I thought Oh great this is gonna go over real well with her and her damm moods, and I was right. She's been a royal b-i-tch a few times this week again. Anyways, your mom is very protective of you, more than what my mom ever was most of the time, so just cherish her and be glad you don't have a mum like I do, trust me. She is the type to want to divorce a guy just cause he got laid off his job. She wants everyone to care for her and is not the real motherly type. I don't know why she even wanted kids. She would have been mad at me instead of my friend if I was in your situation and blamed me for being so stupid. That is the way she rolls.

If that same experience ever told to me by any of my relatives or friends, possible might reacted the same as your mother. That's an initial reaction. Imagine, you lost almost everything and you just forgive her that easily? I will be as mad as her, but in the long run I would able to understand as you are indeed a good friend.

i think your alitttle to nice because you friend screwed you over and made you totally broke and you now are living at home at age 58