Am I Strong Or Just Stupid

If you tell him and show him that you love him but you get very little in response from him and if he insists that you do thing his way you perhaps should begin asking the question, do you love me? Do not take silence for an answer. Ask him point blank, do you sill love me or am I fooling myself? If he refuses to talk to you about that then you have your answer. It is one thing for him to have these feelings but quite another for him to give you nothing back in return. I would ask you one thing. How much time do you give him? Are you always so busy with everything else, including the computer, that you actually never spend any quality time with him? If that is true then there is your problem. Ask him directly about that and see what he says. If you get an answer to that question you can take it to the bank because it will be his truth. While it may be true that he has lost his love for you it also may be true that he has gone into a self defense mode because of how you treat him. He may see your lack of being there with him as an indication that you really don't care anymore. You must begin talking and not fighting about these issues. If you don't it will only get worst.

some couples do argue and when they do some have makeup u-know-what! wink wink* i cook and clean and the whole nine yards! experiment with cooking! clean a little, i do that all(used to)day. but like when he comes home, it doesn't look like i cleaned at all because i have 2 young toddlers one with me all day and one in school. try this(or not) clean a little try cooking and dont tell him u love him for a week and see if he notices anything at all. i once did that and my husband was like 'u still love me?' i would just give him this look and he read my mind. he was like thats the 1st time u told me that all week' so see what he does and how he acts and then i suppose u will know if he does indeed love u. because guys are sooooo different from us. there is a reason why he has a '' and we dont. and a friendly FYI- if someone here says to leave him dont listen to that person. what do u think u should do? i think u know what to do but ur scared. suck it up girl, grow some nerve!

It's tough not to feel appreciated and be expected to be someone you're not. I get that too sometimes with my partner, but I guess we're just in love these days that arguments are still patched up and things talked over. I know it would be unfair for me to judge your partner, I don't know him at all and this discussion is based only on your side. But I do agree that it's unfair, but what is fair in the world? Perhaps both are stressed out over something and perhaps it's a symptom of an underlying problem that needs to be addressed. I don't know how to handle that type of a situation neither do I think that separation is the best solution. First, I would like to inquire if the kids are his? (sorry if it's an insult but I don't know the 'family story'). Next, how old are the kids? You mentioned that he's complaining about you running up and down the streets? I don't quite get it, are you paid for something you do with those 'people' he mentioned? What is his job, perhaps there's something wrong with his work or things there that's why he's snappy. Perhaps he's stressed out of the routine and is frustrated about your lives. Anyhow, I do find myself thinking about some of the arguments that we have and I do realize that indeed part of them are my mistakes. I'm not saying that you allow him to walk all over you. But if the complaints are the same, perhaps there is something wrong with the things you do? What if you just try to keep things neat? My partner is a neat-freak and he doesn't want things to be out of order, I am the opposite and he always complains that when he's tired he wants a home he feel a place he could really feel 'at home' not the garbage dump. Perhaps both of you need to talk about cleaning arrangements. Anyways, you are neither strong nor stupid. It's life and regardless who you are going to be with, it will not be a bed of roses all the time. Yeah, it might be tempting to look into the other way and find the conditions 'greener' but if everyone would think that way, then broken relationships would prevail and the kids are left to act maturely because the mature people are behaving like kids. Whatever you decide on, remember that it's not only your life. There are other people involved - usually innocent ones. Good luck and indeed prayer is one of the solutions. Have a great MyLot experience ahead!

It's really hard to love your man with all your heart and feel as though he doesn't love you back (or love you as much as you love him). My hubby and I have been married for almost three years. While that isn't a horribly long time, we've been together almost eight years and have had to work through similar scenarios. While I don't know exactly how your relationship has been in the past, I do think you have reason for concern, but I think it's something that the two of you need to discuss. It could just be a communication thing. My husband has a contract / part-time job right now, and he knows it's not permanent. He either plans to go back to school and finish his degree or get a full-time job. I work a full-time (salary) job, so I have always been the "breadwinner" since we've been married. I'm used to it and ok with it, but sometimes I can feel like your man...that my husband doesn't contribute as much to the relationship as he should. Very rarely do I have dinner waiting for me when I get home. He doesn't do the housework while I'm gone normally. So after I'm done working all day, I have to make sure the house is clean and figure out what to do for dinner. It's tough! However, it's not like we have kids yet or anything. Sometimes I can feel very overwhelmed, but I think if we were to actually sit down and discuss the situation, we would come to an agreement and get a game plan together of what's expected. As long as we are on the same page, I think we will be good. For you and your man, maybe the same thing needs to be done. I think your man needs to understand that you're helping people and taking care of your kids. While those are great, it sounds like he expects a few other things to be done around the house and such. He needs to remember that his expectations need to be realistic. Rather than expecting miracles from each other, I think maybe he can make a list of what he would expect of you (and it's only fair that you do the same for him!) Again, without knowing that much about your relationship, it's hard to tell, but I think communication is going to be key here. As far as you being on the computer at night, that is probably your way to relax after a busy day. I know because I do the same thing. For a couple hours each night after work, my hubby and I watch TV. That's the time when I force myself to relax. If I didn't have that time, I would be up cleaning and organizing my night away. I'd end up not relaxing at all! So I take that time. Even when things need to be done around the house, I tell myself to take so much time to not do anything but sit and enjoy the shows. Maybe that's another thing you could discuss - having a set time to relax and for how long. That way neither of you feels like nothing is getting done. I think any relationship should be a partnership. If either of you feels like your partner isn't fulfilling their end of the deal, it'd be beneficial to discuss your expectations of each other. I wouldn't call it quits just yet until you try making it work. Maybe you've tried it before. It's never easy, and it's not going to take overnight. However, if you invest time in finding out the source of your man's frustration and listen to him, he'll probably listen to you, and you can both get on the same page. Sometimes I wish my husband could be in my shoes for a day so he'd appreciate what I do! I try to do the same for him to try to understand where he's coming from and how he feels. The best I can do for us and our relationship is to listen to him and communicate. I surely hope whatever is going on that the two of you can work it out. It's never easy working through something like this, but it'll be worth it. And I'm sure deep down your man really does love you! He just can't come to terms with it right now because of the fact that he's focusing on all these other (negative) things. I'm sure he does care for you and appreciate what you do. Maybe he needs to work on appreciating you more! Good luck!!

Don't you have any self esteem at all? You like it to be humilated? You get a kick out of that? Well then you have a good reason to love him and you surely don't mind the situation you are in since this is exactly what you want. Be scold, be humilated, punished for nothing while you keep saying you love him with whole your heart. There is nothing about this guy to love. You and your kids live in fear, you should be ashamed you care so less about yourself and your kids to stay with that guy. Stop telling him you love him since there is nothing to love about him, or go on like you do and don't complain about the fact he treats you like a piece of dirt and accept he will never love you. If you have a bit self esteem then leave and build your own life so you at least can respect yourself, your kids can respect you and you be a good example for them how to treat other people who love you and care for you!

ok... you do all those things every day, but what does he do? from what you said here, he seems to be the kind of man that thinks women have things they are supose to do.i think his response is really stupid. maybe he should look at his mistakes first, and then criticise others. I don;t think he doesn't love you anymore, but maybe he just forgot how to show it, maybe he forgot what is really important. you should try meking him realize that you're together in all this.

Well after all these issues gone out from him and from you, then probably he would realize the answers to his complaints. This is a harsh way of trying to figure out issues, but then again arguments could very well define how much affection is within both of you. if he would understand you and ask for an apology, then that would be a good sign, but on the other hand, he keeps on ranting all of your shortcomings as he saw it, then probably more heart-to-heart conversation should transpire, and if still with the same outcome, then an alternative would be to compromise on matters that you would agree upon, and if it also fails, then it is up for you decide to let go or hang on.

I don't think you are stupid at all. You do your work for your family and doing the right things. Maybe your husband needs some time to be with you but can't find to do so because both of you are busy with work. But that must be understood by him. Both must work for you and kids. If he cannot see this happening then I don't think he is mature at all to have a family. Or he might be up to something.. trying to turn things around and blame it on you.

I think he loves you more than what you think. In your 5 years of marriage he never hurt you except last night. Maybe he was really in bad mood last night and for sure didn't like what he did to you. If he is still saying I love you to you but not as often as you do which is everyday. Some men are just like that, not so comfortable with saying what they really feel inside. Talk to him and try to arrive at the same conclusion, spend quality time for your family. Do your role as husband and wife. Cover the mistakes with love.

I am sorry to hear about this tyleika. I strongly believe that nobody deserve to be treated that way. After all the hard work you put through, that is all you get? I do not think that is humanly at all. While I do not suggest that you leave your husband, I suggest that you talk it among yourselves. In a marriage, communication is very vital. Tell your partner about how you feel, and tell it to him in a very calm way so as not to sound as if you are putting up a fight. Communication is the first way in resolving conflict. Then, compromise with each other as to how you should go about your relationship. I believe that if two person love each other, everything can be resolved. I do hope that this will get sorted out soon. Take care.

I actually don't know what to answer, but I am as curious as you are.Are you stupid or not?Imagine yourself at work,it's a new job, a job that you love, let's take as an example a waitress, you love being a waitress and you just got hired and a lovely restaurant you like.Everything it's beautiful, customers are nice,you get nice tips, but after a few moths of work your boss who seemed friendly till now, suddenly starts to act strange, stupid, blame you for stupid things as so on.but the worst thing that he's doing it's that every day he annoys you just by talking.Now, this story it's just an example so you can understand a little how some of the men feel.You are a women, probably you don't notice your change in character or you think it's normal, but you women's tend to do that.It's not really a bad thing but I think you should listen him more and keep your mouth shut more.try not to talk, yell get nervous, when you are around him, try to smile, be kind, and so on.If you do that and nothing it's changing, then I think you should find your answer