Mom in need for advice

First off I want to say that I know where your coming from, I'm not saying that my opinion is the only way to do it, but you may want to consider it. There is an old saying that "spare the rod, spoil the child" the more positive version of this is in the Bible, it Proverbs 22:6 I believe which says, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Their is wisdom in this verse, it is not about being holier than thou, but it is said to be written by the man with the most wisdom in the world (King Solomon). And I do agree with the message. Hitting, does not mean abusing. Neither does disciplining a child mean hitting the child. BUT it is important for you to discipline your child one way or another. Let him understand that NO means NO. Do not turn back on your word, and so when you say NO mean it. Don't say NO when you would be force to compromise in the end, Say something like "If you don't come with me now, I will leave you behind" in the end you will be forced to compromise and he will have learned nothing, if not learned that he can get away by disobeying you. If you do not like what he wants be firm, and provide an alternative. Then when you compromise it somewhere in between but more in accordance with what you want. Do not be afraid of "hurting" your child's feeling but do not do it intentionally just to spite him either. I know it hurts you more when you see him in pain and crying, but at the end of the day if you begin his discipline early, you would have less situations for doing so in the future, when he knows what is right and what is wrong and decides to do what is right. I hope I make some sense...

I'm rather new in this career as a mom. My eldest is only 3, turning 4 next month, and she is also a very energetic kid. She is a girl, but she can surely drive me mad with her running around the house and all. What I get so pissed about is that she can't sit long enough on a chair to finish her meal. She always stands up, walk or run around while her nanny feeds her. It would take almost an hour to get her to finish eating. However, I'm glad she doesn't fight back if I scold her. I don't spank her or hit her, because I don't believe that works for either of us. And, she has a rather small body, which I don't think would survive the torture of beating her. The best way to get her to behave is when I show her that I'm serious about calling her attention. Then, when she starts listening, I would tell her the cons of what she's doing and how a good girl should behave. She would listen and try to behave to appease me. But, of course, it's not a one time thing. They learn by repitition, just like adults. So that scene would have to repeat itself over again. Do you know if your boy heard other kids or even adults around him shout back at each other using those words, or similar? It's quite alarming for kids to say "I hate you", to their parents. His behaviour may be a sign of insecurity.

I appreciate that you do not use corporal punishment on your son! As an undeveloped adult he deserves the respect you are giving him. But there are 2 sides to this story. As an adult you deserve the respect of your son! Something has to give!- You should only have to tell him not to do something Once! In order to make this happen you have to make it very clear that it will be very costly for him if he disobeys. Make a list of his favorite foods, his favorite toys, and you get the idea! Sit him down and explain so that he understands. If he wants his favorite things he has to do exactly as he is told, because if he doesn't he will forfeit his favorite things!

Role play. Switch roles. You act like you are him and he is you. Then when he is getting into the game start acting the bad way he does to you. I used to do that with my daughter.

Do you impose time out? I personally don't believe in disciplining a child by hitting them. It will not help them physically and mentally. Try to always explain to him what will be the implications of such action and never laugh when he do something wrong. Sometimes, ignoring them will help but keep you eyes on them to know they are safe. Little boy really are hyperactive nowadays. I do have a 23-month old son but I am glad he listens to us most of the times.

I have a 4 year old son as well. He likes to try me sometimes too. I found that something he absolutely HATES is having to stay in his room for a certain length of time when he does something wrong. And if he does something really bad he has to watch his sisters do something fun like ride the go kart and he has to just sit there and watch. He shapes up real quick with those punishments. Any punishment you try though you have to be more stubborn than him. If your not consistent or you give in, nothing will work. I have 3 children and I learned that from experience. Kids pick up quick on it. I hope I have helped at least a little...

I think you need to discipline your child since he is still 4 years old. Because your suffering today is simple and you suffer more if your child growing old. If he still that aristocratic person...not bad to whip him once. So that he knows that he's action is wrong and bad. If you always treat him that way...prepare for the worse

There is an old saying that goes "Spare the rod and spoil the child". I happen to believe a swat on the butt gets their attention and lets them know we are serious. I don't believe in hard spankings or beatings. That's not what I mean. Children need to know their limits, and they also need to know when they have gone too far. I think he is testing you...to see how far you'll let him go and just how much he can get away with. Perhaps a swat on the butt, with love, will let him know you have had enough and he can go no farther.

Hi, Good behaviors are implanted in early ages of a child. But by hitting a child of 4 years, I don’t think so he will learn discipline. Try to change some of your words spoken to your boy like he should understand that you are not ordering him but requesting him sweetly. Don’t let him control you for anything and when he is mad at you for wrong reasons, simply tell him he is supposed to behave a like a good kid. Also you can try some light punishments like reduce his play time by 10 min. if he didn’t follow you. They observe a lot and act like grown up people. We need to have patience and tell him often you love him and he is a very nice boy and also you are getting him his favorite XYZ (may be pizza or ice cream or even a toy). Remember every time bribing is also harmful.

The hardest and easiest thing to do is give advice to another person. People are all different both mother and child so who can really say what is best. One thing for sure do not let another person in this world tell you how to raise your child though it is certainly is mature to reach out and ask for help and advice from time to time. Hitting never makes for anything but hurt and teaches children how to hit so I think there are much better ways. Keep the bonding close and reward the good behaviour and discourage the bad. Showing clearly displeasure and removing rewards is the best way to handle poor behaviour in human beings so why not children. Unless excessive, the “hate you’s, go away’s” only mean I am unhappy and want to be by myself. You can on some occasions say like you mean it, ok then, then that is what you want then that is what you will get. He’ll come around as they do go through those funny stages. In my opinion, some adults can be much too high and mighty when demanding that children stop being children and become little perfect people which they are not so I wouldn’t adhere to just what some adults want and say about your child. Adults are only saying I want to be treated like a king or queen but do not want children around me who are hungry, tired, upset or generally bored. Just a little tender love is all children really need.

I am the mother of a 4 year old and a 5 year old both healthy boys. I usually do time outs however recently my four year old has taken to throwing toys then, kicking, screaming, biting, and hitting during some of these times. A light tap on the hand or butt, is not going to damage him physically or mentally but it will help him to know you are serious. I do not believe in beating kids but I do believe in disciplining them. I read all these stories about kids who have been disciplined with a belt or anything when they were younger and scientists claiming they have lower I.Q.'s and what not but it really isn't true. When my grandmother had to help raise me and my siblings since my mom had me at 15 (she had three kids by 20), she used to beat our butts with a wooden spoon at that age. I am 25 years old with a 4.0 in college, my brother has a 3.7 in college, my sister graduated with a 3.8 in college... none of us have a lower I.Q. from being disciplined. I would start sitting him in his room with no toys, no anything. Learn holding techniques if he decides to throw a tantrum... all kids do it and every parent I know hates when they do. A tap on the butt or hand wont hurt him but DONT beat him. If you feel like you are too angry and might beat the child.. walk away. If you can go in a room for a few minutes where you can shut the door and breathe.. do it. Walking away is one bit of parenting advice I got and took to heart because sometimes its hard and every parent has that moment where they may be stressed out from something.

Hi Kat, it is normal for four year old kids to push their luck and see how far they can go, and what you teach them or try to teach them might take some time, but you have to persist. You can't say to a child that he must go to bed at seven o'clock and then put him to bed at midnight because you had friends over. You have to be firm. Your child is not in charge; you are. If he sees fighting in the home, he will think it is all right. If he sees you being abusive to his father or siblings he will think it is all right to do so. You have to make a concerted effort to sit with him and talk nicely. Don't shout at him. Call a timeout when he does not behave. It need not be longer than a minute, but it will give him time to think.

My son is now 10 years old, is a nice and quiet child, but it was not always so super.Kiedys fell into a scarf for whatever reason, do not listen to me, laughed and quickly ran to the backyard with a lot of balls other dzieci.Jednak never hit your child , I believe that hitting a child is your weakness, your defeat, explained tlumaczylami I explained again, I said a firm voice, but did not scream, I gave a penalty, that is, for example, I put the executioner, stralam to be a consistent and now I also feels that wyniki.Dziecko if you are nervous you are calm, at peace can really make a difference, I recommend peace and perseverance, never slap!

Reflecting to your situation, being a mother is not that hard to raise children and to discipline them as well. You know, I am a mother of 4 children with very close age gap. My eldest is still 4 yrs old. I am the breadwinner of the family, and my husband is the one who serves to be the "yaya" or the baby sitter of our 4 kids. Oftentimes, we are quarreling with him because he has his ways of disciplining our children, a way that for me is not acceptable. That everytime my baby boy committed mistakes he uses his belt to slap anywhere of baby boy's body, and he even uses candle to put the hot solution to the skin. So everytime I saw bruises of my baby boy I really get mad of him because I know its not reasonable that you hurt the child as a means of disciplinary actions. I believe that being sweet and give some caress to child would be more helpful than hitting the child.Try to reach out unto him by maybe acting sometimes like being at his age,playing with him but not necessarily doing what he wants you to do.