I Finaly Figured Out A Way To Cope With
By MoonGypsy
@MoonGypsy (4606)
United States
May 17, 2012 3:39am CST
....loud people. you see, the thing to do is not to raise your voice over them. under no circumstances. this is what they want. they want to get into a shouting match so that they have a reason to get louder. rule number two, keep your voice at a low level and speak like a rational reasonable person. this take some self control, as their voice just pierces through you and you want to slap the mess out of them. just like the classic result with all bully types (even vocal bullies), there bark is worse than there bite and they will finally go away. this is because they will hear how loud and obnoxious they are being.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
17 May 12
Also loud people will have less need to speak out loud if everybody is quite, are "whispering" if they are not surrounded by a lot of noise (tv, radio, etc).
If my kids are loud I tell them nobody will listen to them, they have to make other people curious to do so.. so if they tell their story quitely, whispering it will attract other people their attention for sure. I also noticed that the louder the places are they sit/stay/are in the louder they get so they can't be overheared. Adults have exactly the same behaviour.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
17 May 12
this is a very good point. i never thought about it before. the person i was around who was being loud, did have some noise he had to compete with in the background. i still say that he would have been loud if it were quite, i don't know.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
17 May 12
A certain try/behaviour will be a habit as well. I noticed that with my kids. So it takes time to end it and yes you have to tell them each time to speak with a softer voice, so speak more quite, which probably will only help if you do it frequently but also if the person is aware of all the loudness he/she is producing (I tell my kids it hurts my ears..which it does).
@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
18 May 12
I agree. I'm a pretty calm person so usually that's the way I act around loud people.
However there are times when I just can take it anymore and then I prefer leaving over starting a shouting contest.
I saw a quote on the web the other day :
~Don't raise your voice, find a better argument~
Pure genius.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
18 May 12
i like that one. i must use it, but certainly not on a loud person while they are being loud. lol.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
17 May 12
I actually think that loud people can be very rude at times. I have a friend who always talks loudly no matter where we are, even if we're in a lecture or in a church, and it just isn't fair on the people who are sitting around us and want to have a quiet time while they reflect on their lives. They don't seem to be able to stop and think about how other people would feel if they had to listen to the things that they were saying. I sometimes make comments, but at other times just don't bother because it isn't worth it when you don't think that people are going to listen anyway.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
17 May 12
the one thing you don't want to do is tell them to lower their voice. this is like telling them to increase the volume. that's what i have found. just keep your voice and a low level.
@chan2zexy (508)
• Philippines
18 May 12
I agree. The situation will just worsen if you fight fire with fire. So to put the fire out, stay as cool as possible. If you can't, peacefully walk away. This will either make them feel either victorious (which actually only proves them to be stubborn if they do feel victorious), or even more irritated and want to bite you. Walking away and not fighting back the way they do (raising voice for example) doesn't mean you're a loser but actually proves maturity. Wait for that person to regain their cool then confront again, peacefully. Nothing beats diplomacy. =)
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
17 May 12
it's is not easy. i use to get upset and emotional, but what i found is that fed them and made them happy. i gave them what they want. they pushed my buttons and it work. it takes alot of practice.
@sayo13 (414)
• India
17 May 12
yes i think you are right, as this is really irritating , these ways might help to cope with this kind of loud people.
I have one in my office and she always give me a headache.
I hate this kind of people who do not have enough self control and maturity to keep their patience in situations.
the worst part is that she thinks she is enough smort in doing these kind of things as people give her attention.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
17 May 12
that's so complicated. they yell because they want attention, but then they turn people off by their yelling. i can't understand it. i am sorry you have to work around a person like that.
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
18 May 12
Yes this is true and if they want to hear what you are saying they have to stop the shouting or yelling to be able to hear you. Of course some people just like to hear themselves talk or in this case shout, it might not work at all.
@laurenrich (111)
• United States
17 May 12
You are right. I believe that people like to get you upset because they are unhappy. It is best if you can to walk away and not respond to their loudness.
@samson1 (738)
• Jamaica
17 May 12
MoonGypsy, you have presented an interesting perspective on the topic.., and I like it. This general approach forwarded in your presentation tends to work with persons who are rational thinkers, but either got out of control for a momoent, or become excited/pasionate about a topic being discussed; and their emotions overcame them for a few moments. I think that these (rational) persons' moments of 'relative insanity' can be tolerated.
However, how do you deal with the 'shouters' who are irrational? Is'nt that where the real problem resides?
