Do you oblige your children to repay you?

No, I don't let our son repay us to the expenses we have given for his education.

hi lyn, For me it's not an obligation its somehow a pride and joy to the parents that their child/children can help them financially. In my case mom never ask anything from me but since I have a business I am the one who tell her I will take care of our monthly food allowance and it's not big deal for me at all. happy mylotting

My parents did not ask me to pay them back. But like the other mylotter wrote- it is our pride to help them. The joy is something when we were able to help our parents or siblings. I come to help my parents and it's indeed a great pride to do so.

It is really not an obligation of the children to repay the parents after their school. In fact, it is the parents obligation to send their kids to school. However, in our country where this has been a common trait, most of those who finishes their schools tends to help their parents in their own willingness. Some of them helps their younger siblings to finish their school while others help parents financially. In my case, my parents does not obliged me to suport my sister. However, I am really willing to help them as much as I can. My parents told me that they will be thankful if I will send them some amount. Furthermore, they are also thankful if I will not, just knowing that I still have work not for them but for my own future. My parents still have their own work that will can support them. Also, if they really needs some money, they will borrow from me. But I will not forced them to return it because it is quite awkward if I will force them to pay me back.

I wouldnt force my kids to repay whatever I did for them , but, if they are old enough to work and they are still living at home its good for them to have a habit of helping in the expenses of the house. When the parents are not doing good economically and their kids have a good income they also can help , but , we have to teach them that since they are little ones. I ve helping my mom since I was 19 years old I promised to myself always help a little , its not that I give her the half of my salary. My parents are very old and dont work anymore, I feel proud to help them. I think that is in the heart of every person , my mother never forced me to help her or asked me something .

As a mother of two grown children I would never expect my kids to repay me. Repay me for what? It was a joy to have them and raise them. I gave my children the tools for life. They both made it work for them. My son has his own business and the same with my daughter who is actually an inventor; she created a new gadget or the diaper industry. Money does not mean anything for a parent, and parents, especially older parents, would rather have her children's love than money. Besides a son who has been well education and is grown would give his mom a little something every month. But it is not expected.

Personally this is where a lot of resentment comes from, and many times will cause undo hardships, but here even in the US you hear of parents who are like this, and expect their children to repay them, or support them now that they are working. I think it is wrong, and children should only do it if they feel like it. To make someone have to do something like this is wrong, and in reality one of the worst things a parent could ever do.

I didn't expect for my kids to repay me....it was my parental obligation..or in my heart it was that I tried to do the best I could for them..including helping with their educations....and they are all very successful! Yeah! That's repayment enough!

For me, I don't think it's the obligation of children to repay the parents. I'm from the Philippines too but I guess I'm lucky to be in a family where my mom is different and won't do that. For her, we (my brother and I) don't have to repay her since it was her responsibility to bring us up (side story, my dad left us when I was just 9). She tells me that when I get a job (been looking and applying for for months now), what I earn will be for me only. I had a job once and I paid the water bill and contributed to our grocery shopping. My brother pays for the electric bill. That's all right, she appreciates if we contribute like this but she does not force us to do so. Because I am not forced to do so (and I feel very loved by my mom), I really want to provide her love and financial aid in return as long as I can so she can have a better life. I guess the children repaying the parents in our country stems from poverty or at least the hardship of rearing children in terms of the parents earning money and paying the needs of their children. On variety shows, there often is a scenario where the parents would say something like "I hope our eldest child will finish college soon so s/he can get work and help us with our bills and debts, and help with the education of his/her siblings." I understand the sentiment of the parents but it's really not the responsibility of the older siblings to work and pay for the education and needs of their younger siblings. But as for contributing to household finances like bills and the like, it's not an obligation but it would be nice if the working children could help since they too make us of those services like electricity, water, food, etc. My mom's philosophy is that it's not the obligation of the children to repay the parents because in the first place, the children did not ask to be born and become the responsibilities of the parents to raise. Lol, makes sense. As for me, parents shouldn't have many children if they can't raise them then later on bug the older children to help rear and finance the education of their younger siblings.

As you mentioned, it is not customary here to expect repayment from your children. I have not been one to expect that my children do anything to pay me back. Everything that I have done for my children has most certainly been for their benefit. I hope to be in a position by the time I retire to be independent and not need any help. I am one that has a hard time asking for such if I need it anyway.

When I give money to my children, I see it as a gift or a helpling hand to them. I don;t expect to be repaid by my children. it is a nice gesture when that repayment is made to b=me, but I am never expecting it to happen. Getting repaid is not why i help my children in the first place.

I only know it this way from the countries I am raised and lived. Adult is adult so you take care of yourself. Unless you are not able too, still live in the same house, still at school or so. But.. if you are still studying you are able to get a loan (in some cases) for study but also other things. This means you have to pay it back but also the loan is partly for costs for living. So it's normal if you live at home to pay your parent(s) that part. Also.. if you have a job you have to pay these costs to your parents. There are plenty of cases even the income of the parents is lower because of that. If you raise your kids well they take care of themselves and you teached them how to manage money and how to safe. The job of a parent is done if it came that far. I never heard about kids paying back their parents the money they invested in them. To be honest I think that is impossible because over here they say a kid will cost a parent over 100.000 euro a year. But I do think it's fair if the kid pays back money parents borrowed. For example if the kid wants new furniture or a car etc and it's not able to buy it already itself. The only other thing I know (from the country my husband lives) is that people see having kids and raising them as an investment for themselves. They say clip and clear you should never raise somebody elses kid since this is a waste of your money. Why? Because that kid will not take care of you if you get older. So they do want/take kids to take care of them as soon as they are grown up or in many cases already if they are 13 years old or so. Personally I think that is not a reason to have kids, it's a waste of money as well, then it's better to save your money till the time you are older instead of taking many kids, have a never ending struggle for life, always unexpected costs besides of the fear your kids are not willing to take care of you at all and start their own life. I wonder if it's typical for your country that kids pay back their parents or if it depends on the parent(s).

Hello lynboonsy11, I guess I am lucky that although I share the same culture about parents wanting their children to repay them, my parents are different. They do not force us to repay them although all of us their children already have our own jobs. All they wanted is for us to keep our job and save for our future because they know that they wouldn't be with us forever. As much as possible, my parents wouldn't want us spending our money because they can still provide for us. They want us to save our money for ourselves so that we can buy things we want and do things we want to do.

Well parents love is unconditional.. They never expect anything from their children except the care and affection when they are old.. Infact it is the responsibility of the children to revert back love and affection the way parents bestow on them before they start expecting from them..

This varies from family to family. I do not have any children of my own, but I know that my parents excused themselves when they were unreasonable by telling me as a child that when I was grown up I could live by my own rules and they would not expect me to support them. So if anyone gave me any money they took it when I was too little to stop them. Well, then I grew up and they tried to change the rules and wanted me to share my earnings with them. I politely told them if they wanted my help they should have been nicer parents when I was small. I would have given them anything I had if they had asked nicely when I was small, but they were rude about it and just took without asking. Of course, neither one of them ever paid for any of my college expenses. Dad said "No daughter of mine is going to any G*D*M college!" WRONG. I worked and earned my own way.

It depends what the reason was. Now if they wanted something that I would not buy they have to try to earn the money or do chores to make up for it. Like when I was a kid my Aunt said she'd help me buy a bike, but I'd have to earn half of it. I cleaned a neighbors house and dumpster dived for soda cans (to cash in for money) so that I got my half. Then you appreciate it more if you have to work and save for it.

I don't think a child has to repay a parent for school. Unless the parent is very poor and the child feels an obligation to do so. And if the money was given as a loan then that would be payed back. In most cases if a child is expected to go to college then a parent pays for it. I do think a child should help pay if the parent isn't financially able to pay for it.

Parents shouldn't do that, my friend. Because parents are oblige to grow their children healthy and provide them good education or good future. They don't have the right to force their children to repay them for what they did. In addition to that; children is also oblige to care their parents when they are old. That is what the bible said and God angry to those children that doesn't love their parents. To give support to parents when they are old is an obligation, love and care. Whom they depend on when we as children didn't care about our parents when they are old. Isn't despicable to throw away our parents besides the good thing they does for us until we settle our future?

I live in the US and yes of course after your 18 you are independent but not always. See when you turn 18 by law your an adult but there are still things that you can not do with out someone older then. I don't know any parent that makes there child repay them for everything that they bought or gave there child after they turn 18. I'm 23 and my parents still help me and my husband out with things. We haven't paid them back a dime and they don't want us to. Some parents yes they will ask for money back but that is between you and them on what ever thing they gave you money for. Normally that is like for helping buying a car or house something like that.

Hi ! Yes its right but what could we do, still in our country such a tradition is followed. Even than i say the view of different people may be different. How could you say the children are oblige to repay their parents? Can anyone want to be dependable to another? No,ofcourse not,actually they have their own weakness thatswhy they becomes depandable and you alter this dependable word to repay.