Room mate problems
By daeckardt
@daeckardt (6237)
United States
May 19, 2012 10:54am CST
For those of you who know me, you might or might not know how much of a "bleeding heart" I am for what I consider to be a good "sob" story. When I was still living in the motel last year, I got to know one family that was living there with three kids. I decided after I had the great luck to move into a nice two-bedroom apartment that I would try to help them out until they could get on their feet. They would help me with cooking and cleaning and I would give them a space where their kids had a nice back yard and there was a kitchen available so they could prepare somewhat healthy meals. There were problems off and on from the time they got there because the man always started complaining any time I would say (or even not say at times) something about the way he was always putting the kids down or constantly yelling at them to "stop yelling" (even though he was louder than any of the kids). There were several times when they asked me if I wanted them to leave and started putting me down. I think that might have had a lot to do with my decline in health over the last couple of months and several doctors and other friends said that I should tell them to leave. I felt really guilty for having asked them to move in with me to start with, but I was giving them a chance to try to get on their feet until they were able to get into a place that was better. The apartment management called me yesterday and informed me that if the man wasn't out of there right away that I would be evicted. Needless to say, they started the procedure of moving yesterday and are trying to finish up today. The kids were ferried to various other places for the weekend, but there was nothing else I could do. They didn't want me to be homeless in my current condition and they are used to being that way. Had I known in the beginning about his "background" I would have suggested that the kids and her could come, but that he could not. They would have let me add her to the lease, but not him. Unfortunately she was not willing to accept that so they decided to move. Now I am in a bind because I am not really in good enough shape to be driving and don't have any kind of direct support system. How could I be so stupid as to trust people like that. Oh well...
1 person likes this
4 responses
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
19 May 12
I know what you mean. I mostly just needed to blow off steam. I am just hoping that now that they are gone that my health will start showing some kind of improvement. I'm sure that at least part of the problem was the added stress of them being here, but I don't think that the cancer will go away again, but it might get a little better. I will have to wait and see. Thanks for the response!
2 people like this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
21 May 12
I'm sorry to hear about your friends. I'm sure that I will have a better chance of beating it now than I did even a week ago. I hope that today's visit with the gyn/onc will start having things look positive for me.
1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
19 May 12
I don't think that would have happened one way or another. Although he had some legal problems and a lot of emotional problems, I never really felt threatened in that manner...just belittled and not respected because of differences of opinion. I think he had always been at a disadvantage so he felt that people needed to give him everything so he seldom made efforts to followup on many job leads he had been given because he was a felon and he was convinced that no one would hire him. I was only told that after he had been living in the apartment for several weeks. Oh well...
1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
20 May 12
I couldn't agree with you more on that point! She told me about an incident that happened to him when he was a child and then later he told me about the same incident but some of the important details were different. Now I can see some information being related differently by different people, but to have him tell me that he and the others were trying to get out of a third floor window to escape a fire and to have her tell me that he had gotten out and was trying to get back in...
I hadn't thought much about the discrepancy when he first told me what had happened to him, but looking back now, I should have realized that it was worse then than it was before.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
20 May 12
he sounds an awful lot like this useless man my daughter is with and that woman is always going to have problems with him. she needs to wake up but so does my daughter and who knows how long thats going to take
thats how it is with lazy men
thats how it is with lazy men1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
20 May 12
as far as help, im pretty much close to the same problem. ive been told that there is organizations the will have people drive you places. supposedly your insurance will pay most or all of the fee.you need to call your insurance and find out about that. 
thats one thing ive been thinking of looking into. because as much as my daughter was supposed to do this for me, she is often at work or has other things to do and if she takes off to take me to the doc every couple of months i hear about how she does soooooo much for me
right!
thats one thing ive been thinking of looking into. because as much as my daughter was supposed to do this for me, she is often at work or has other things to do and if she takes off to take me to the doc every couple of months i hear about how she does soooooo much for me right!1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
20 May 12
I know if I nee a ride to the cancer center, I can contact the social worker there and she will send a taxi to pick me up. She had also arranged a cleaner for me once a month, but right after that those people moved in so I canceled that service. Now I am wishing that I hadn't done that. Some people never learn I guess. I do have various friends who have stated a willingness to help me out. The one time that I asked Mary for a ride, she was working, but she had her husband pick me up and drop me off so I wasn't abandoned. I guess overall I have been lucky even though there have been times when things didn't go quite the way I had wanted them to. Thanks for the response.
@marguicha (223439)
• Chile
21 May 12
I have had problems with people I have offered my house each time I have done it and all of the time they have been friends. So I learned my lesson and will not invite anyone over. People never keep their side of the bargain and it doesn´t end well. You think you are helping them and they think that you are taking advantage of them. The problem of driving is a big one though. I have decided to spend some money in taxis, but only to take me to the nearest Metro. It´s a wonderful thing that we have a good subway in our city. The hospital where I go is at the other side of town, but it takes less than half an hour plus a small taxi fee (about $10 back and forth) to take me there.
I hope that you can work out your problems. A friend of mine, doctor, told me that being stress free was very important when you are fighting with cancer. So let´s do it, Deb.
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
21 May 12
Fortunately, I live in a small enough area that with a car, you can get anywhere in town in about 15 minutes. There isn't a very good bus system and no subway. If I need transportation to the cancer center (about 5-6 miles from home), I just call the social worker there and she will arrange a medicaid taxi ride so there is no expense to me. Since I am on a limited income, I do sometimes call friends (not living with me). Most of these are people I know through the Red Cross and they are people that I trust more than those who live with me. Just seeing the way that I felt Saturday night makes me convinced that a lot of the "sickness" that I had over the last couple of months was stress related to those people being there. I still have some vertigo going on even right now, but at least I don't feel like I need to stay in bed like I did when they were here.
