Life by default...
By maurya83
@maurya83 (923)
India
May 20, 2012 1:47am CST
I don't know how to express this feeling..I was thinking about myself for a few days and just realized so far my life has just automatically moving, I belong to an Indian middle class family where girls are brought up over protected..(I dont blame my parents for this, I understand this was requirement of time and social environment)..Point is, I haven't lived my life by my choices, i never decided what subject to study, where to go,carrier, job and life-partner, i did whatever my parents decided for me..and i didn't found anything wrong in this.. But I don't know why this feeling is disturbing me a lot for a few days..How can i spent my half of life without my choices, even i didn't thought about this before..In fact that was the time when i should think about my future, my carrier and life-partner..this feeling of loosing myself is killing me..I know, I can't change the past but I dont want to pass my rest of life like this..I want to make some serious decisions for myself ..but on the other hand i feel its quite late, I am completely in a chaos..without any clue..
2 people like this
6 responses
@littleheart (17)
• China
20 May 12
I believe many people have the same situation like you,even in the face of despair.But child,you are young,i don't kown what you decision is ,i hope you don't hurt yourself,you can try other methods to get out of the way.
@maurya83 (923)
• India
21 May 12
hi littleheart, don't know what to say..thanks for your concern, you know, i was the girl who known as very witty, jolly with great sense of humor..i just lost it..the flow has stopped suddenly. I am not a stupid fellow but just quite sensitive.the problem is- I can't stop thinking..
@babyanna (1216)
• China
20 May 12
Hey,maurya~
So what,you're 29? It's like you still have two 30 years to live if you eat healthy food,keep healthy lifestyle. It's never too late.
Here in China,we have the same problems. Although we don't have that distinct social class issues,children here are waaaay too over protected. We go to the schools our parents choose(if they can),we study the same things as other people do(even if we don't like some subjects),sometimes our careers are arranged for us too. Parents want us to have steady jobs,good life-partners. Many of them would prefer us to be social servants. Good pay,9-5 working hours. My parents have been trying to persuade me for a long time.
You are just realizing your own interests and desires. And there's nothing wrong with that. Try to stop following other people's choices for you,try to tell your parents how you feel and see what you can do about it. Don't leave regrets. There is only one life,and it's yours. Don't waste it.
Best wishes~
@bird123 (10643)
• United States
20 May 12
OK, welcome to the real world. Get a piece of paper and write down your choices. List the pros and cons. If you can live with the cons, you have a valid choice. Sometimes one can not get enough information to make a choice. Sometimes, it's about fear of making any choice at all. Pick one and choose. It will result one of two ways. 1. It will be a great choice. 2. You will learn what not to choose next time you choose. See. You can't loose!!
Be brave. Everyone in their lives go through this. Everyone has made good choices and everyone has made bad choices. There is learning in the choosing. No one gets good at choosing without those losses under their belts.
So work at making your best educated choice. You will do better than you realize. Further, everyone wins when each person does their own choosing. God has set things up this way.
1 person likes this
@Beaufly (991)
• United States
20 May 12
Hi Maura, what a thoughtful discussion!I am a little hesitant because I live in the US and we have different cultural norms so I don't want to say things that are superficially irrelevant to your situation. Can you talk to your parents about your concerns? Will they listen? Is that considered disrespectful? Do you see the possibilities of having and following a dream? What would you like to do? If you were free to live in any fashion that you liked? How would you live? What would you do? Who would you spend time with? Do you have hobbies that you enjoy? Is that a way to begin to carve freedom for yourself?
@maurya83 (923)
• India
21 May 12
Hi beaufly, I was thinking (you can say- over-thinking)on some of questions you suggested like, if i was free to live in any fashion that i liked..? how would you lived??etc..as much as i thought i got more n more confused..but some of your questions made my mind really clear :) I am thinking on- "Do i see the possibilities of having and following a dream.."
@emjay86 (640)
• Philippines
21 May 12
I have been living the life you're in. SOmehow everything changed when we begin to make our own decisions and stand up for it. It is imperative that we live this life the way we want it too. It is ours for the taking. I simply hope that your family feels the same way or need be though how hard it seems, you've got to break hearts to gain more!
@mikemirasol (31)
•
20 May 12
It's your life. You should make your own decisions, don't let others make the choices for. A lot of people experiences the same way as you do, and most of them, they ended up not being contented. I suggest you start to think for yourself, because if not, you're letting other people control the way you live. Not even your parents should control it for you, the most that they could provide you is advice and guidance, other than that, the decision is still yours. Just don't be reckless with your decision. As long as you make the right choices, you're good.
1 person likes this
@maurya83 (923)
• India
20 May 12
you are right mikemirasol, one thing i realised, I always want to make others happy which seems impossible..whatever i do for them is not enough for them..and i ignored myself in doing so..However now i decided not to pay much attention on this..I will do what i like..I hope I'll find my way some day...:)
1 person likes this
