Do you pay your family members when they help you?

I never thought a topic like this would have to be discussed. Family is family and you help without expecting anything. We always have the choice not to help if we have to help a relative which we do not realy like. But even in this case, if we help we cannot ask for something.

It's good to know that there are still families like what you have that are blessed with the word "unconditional". I'm a little envious of what the type of family you have. I find it funny yet dissappointing because I have a brother close to me but not quite, who constantly and unsolicitedly give food stuff for us for the past few weeks. I felt really good initially, that finally, he has changed. But just last week, he asked for a brand new and expensive mountain bike for my nephew. And so, as a sign of gratitute, I finally gave it to him, just last week. And 4 days ago, he asked for another one, for now, it's for his personal use. I told him to wait for a few months, because I need also the money for my family. After the last conversation, he ignored my text messages and he never contacted me and I felt bad about it. Lesson learned - Give what is in your heart unconditionally. Never expect something in return.

I would try to, as a small appreciation. As I am a Chinese, we will give monetary appreciations in the form of red packets. Our relatives or even myself, would reject the small appreciations but, the giver would always insist, where most of the time we end up accepting it. In my case, I would note down the amount and return it whenever I can. Or if my relatives have kids in the family, we mostly buying toys/gifts for the kids... Otherwise, we return with other more appropriate gifts. It's always a blessing to be able to give...

I know many people think that when family does something, they should not expect payment and my cousin is one of them, (which might be why I disagree). For one, my 10 y/o is too young to get a job, so he gets an allowance for chores he does all week. My other son, I don't pay him for cutting the grass, but for special jobs, like fixing my computer, I do pay him.

No,i will not pay my family if they help me.But if they ask money,i will perhaps pay for,although this situation hasn't happened yet.I think it is unalterable principles to help family members free of charge,the friendship is priceless,ask money will hurt feelings of family.

My other relatives are like that. They helped me because they know that I have something to offer to them in the future. And if you fail to help them they will be mad at you. For me, I don't like that kind of attitude. I would love to help without forcing me to do so.

We do not pay our family members for helping. When one of the family helps us with something we just return the favor when they need help in something. My husband is a plumber so he helps out a lot when they have plumbing problems. My husband never asks for money when he helps family. The rest of the family never asks for money either if we need help with something.

I think to pay or not to pay depends on how close the family member is. Anyway it should be discussed before services are rendered. Also maybe the family doing the services needs the money.

I don't pay family members for helping me. In our family, helping one another out is just part of being a family. I am so very blessed to have a wonderful family that is always happy to help me. I know that not everyone is as fortunate as I am.

My family does not as for any sort of payment either! We help each other too - it's just something you do for family out of your heart - no one expects to get paid here - in fact, they might get insulted!! However, when someone helps us, we tend to at least provide a meal for them on that day . . . that's just how it is in our family. My father always said he wanted to work on our yard when we got a house someday (and we just finally got our first house) . . . and he always said all he expected in return was a delicious dinner - ha ha. So I'm working on a menu for when him when it happens!! My uncle in Japan was strange about helping my grandmother though. When she needed help, he would fly out and take a taxi to get to her home . . . he would actually save the receipts and expected her to compensate her for his fare there. Is that ridiculous or what?

No, I don't pay my family members when they help us. We just pay for their fare and feed them that's all. We are lucky to have them whenever we need them they are around and don't expect something in return. I think that's family is all about, helping each other without expecting any return.

No never, if i pay a family member for helping me, how can he/she be my family member? Well if he/she is an outsider, i may pay if he/she is needy, but many wont accept this kind of help at all ENJOY A HAPPY WEEKEND Prof.Dr. B.Saraf. PhD

In my family, it's depend on the situation. There are two things: a work and a help. If it is a work, then we'll pay but if it a help, we don't. However, if other member need money, we'll give some as a return for the help.

Hi, Porcospino, I'm also surprised about this. I can't remember to have seen such things around me. Of course it is natural to help each others without asking money. Years ago when the life was much easier the same rules were between good friends too. Of course if you need a lot of repairs and this uncle is a professional plumber, he deserves to get money for his work. But if we are talking about help money are not expected.

i think if someone, anyone helps you do something you should talk money first. It's best to know if they would like to be paid before they help you. I also think if someone is helping you with something that they do for a living then it's only right to pay them something. My Brother is a painter and plumber by trade. So when i want my place painted or anything I always ask him and pay him for doing so.

When this is the way of his living I will consider giving him anything in return. Sometimes I'm the one who is asking a help for them instead of hiring others that I never knew I ask one of my relative if they can so I can help them in other ways by paying them on their service. In this case I am also avoiding some issues someday that might upbraided me.

I sometimes offer to pay family members for help and sometimes I just graciously accept their help. I would certainly pay for gas if I asked someone to drive me some place but if they invited me to dinner, I would not offend them by offerring to pay them for the food. I do not offer help and expect to be paid for it. If I need to be paid for services, I tell the person up front so they are clear that they are hiring me for pay. It is my practice to not expect payment from those I help, family or not.

i dont expect payment when i do anything for family or friends. but some of my kids do expect me to pay them. because they usually except it i guess mostly because they need it.

I think that is normal, since it is his job right? We can't really have things for free if it it outside our direct family.. it's sad but true, i thought everything from our relatives were free too, but some weren't.

This is interesting. i dont expect payment or expect to pay somebody in my family for helping one another out . But! my husband helps his brother out alot ( by fixing his car and what ever else he might need) We have been down and out since i lost my job .. unemploymennt doesnt cut it! So he asked his brother to borrow a few bucks ( like twenty or thirty ) to pull us through.. now if it was me lending the money i would of said . dont worry about paying me back since you help me all the time, but no he said he would put it on his tab?! which i thought was BS...... am i wrong?? maybe i dont know lol