Relationship

This type of feeling is very much familiar with me. I was hooked on chatting a few years back when there were few people who really got into it. Most people there were true and there were few people there who's only interested in picking up women or doing something fishy online. Anyhow, I too met someone there who I truly felt was my match in every way. He was mature, confident, he knew the right words, and I knew he was my soulmate. The friendship bloomed into a group and we constantly talked with our groupmates and soon alone together at the wee hours of the morning. He would sacrifice a lot of his social time while I too would since our time difference was quite enormous. He was the same race as mine but he has settled in another country. I felt the strange feeling deep inside my heart but knew that it's too good to be true because I never heard of 'love' like this - long distance. We never talked about our feelings but it's obvious to me that there was something between us. We constantly talked, he knew my family well (he also talked to them), sent me gifts and my family as well. My grandmother even proclaimed that time that the only thing separating us is distance. Since I was shy about inviting him over I just kept quiet but enjoyed the times we had. I had fallen in love with the guy for 8 years! For some reason things started to become a little different. We still talked but there were a lot of times when our busy schedules with work just didn't allow communication to be possible. Days became weeks, weeks turned months and soon we didn't know where he was. I was devastated but hopeful that fate would bring us back together again. Then someone started courting me (in real life), I wasn't attracted to the guy and whenever we talked, I would only wish I was with my one true love. It wasn't after a few months that he showed up again, he explained about the personal things that happened to him and such but I knew I needed to tell him once and for all what we were. So I opened up and told him that someone was courting me, he grew silent but told me that if I were happy with the guy, then I should accept. I was angry at this moment because he didn't stop me. Then he was lost again. Finally, I accepted the fact that perhaps we weren't meant to be and accepted the guy after a few more months. Down to my 2 years in a relationship with the guy, I started seeing something in him, but still the thought of the other guy filled my heart with pain. After the 2 years had gone, he finally showed up online again. He told me he got married - I composed myself and excused myself claiming I was busy, but I cried my heart out. My boyfriend immediately knew that there was something and asked understandingly what was wrong and he quickly asked if it was about the guy. When I said yes, he was just lovingly silent then told me that I need to talk to the guy again and this time open my heart out. After a few days with the drama, I gotten in touch with the guy again. I opened my heart out, asked all the questions I needed answers to, and he was open. There we both found out that we fell in love the first time around. The attraction was the same but we were just both so shy that neither one of us said a thing. Then I asked him why he got married, he simply said that he didn't believe that something was true in chat. He couldn't imagine doing something about the feelings he had, he said, it might have been real but it's too far from the real reality. There I understood him. After several days of talking with the guy again (even if he was married then and I still had a boyfriend) I slowly realized that he wasn't the guy I thought about. He wasn't cute anymore, he didn't have the right words anymore, he no longer appealed me. Instead I kept thinking about how I miss my boyfriend - I realized right then and there that I have closed the chapter of my life. We did meet eventually. We did see each other. Sadly, there really were no sparks. Whatever I felt for the guy before was because of my 'expectations' of him. It was how I drew him out in my heart that made me love him. Similarly, I had friends who tried online love. Most were disappointed because the guys didn't reach their expectations when they met. You cannot create sparks. You cannot force love. Remember that we have a lot of senses, sense of sight, taste, smell, hearing, touch, and emotion. You cannot use one or two senses alone to find love, you cannot rely on sight and hearing alone. You need all of them to truly feel attraction. What if he didn't walk the way you thought him to be? What if he didn't smell right? What if he's shorter than he seemed? What if he cannot express himself in front of you? There are a lot of questions that needs answers, and the answers are only there when you see each other face-to-face. Therefore, I suggest that you keep the friendship. If there's a chance for you to meet as friends, then that would be great. Never meet as lovers, it will be too awkward. Meet as friends and see where it leads you two. Don't be in a hurry. True love can never be found where it doesn't really exist, nor can it be hidden when it truly does. Oh by the way, I am still with my boyfriend now. We're running our 7years together and have plans of settling down. He is my partner. He is my love. I didn't know he was the one because I was busy looking somewhere else, but he taught me to realize that, I'm just glad he never gave up! Have a great MyLot experience ahead!

I think the best way is to ask the boy who are you in his life for it is really hard to expect and get hurt in the end it is better to make sure that he really has special feelings for you. Maybe, it is best if you don't tell him first your feelings for there are some boys who gets irritated to girls who confess their feelings. Stay happy girl :)