Chemistry in relationships-once lost is always lost

Along with individual issues comes society which has changed over time. In the olden days every one rallied round should any individual had problems but today the attitude is "Whose father what goes". Having said that it is well nigh impossible to get back to old attitudes and feelings. I was on the line with my sister a few minutes ago and we were discussing the very same thing and I was surprised when she said that one should move on as no one will ponder over someone else's problems and look for a solution!

You are right. I also believe that once the feeling is lost it's lost. But I still limit this believe to people other than family and relatives. Somehow, blood connection made me tolerate them more that I would a friend or a lover. Once the feeling is not here, I would usually withdrawn from the relationship and would never want to get back ever again. Hence, I lost some friends but I gained new ones. And I made some of my boyfriends frustrated cause I did not want to renew our relationships.

I beg to differ.. If the relation is from the bottom of the heart and both the people involved want it to work at any cost, the chemistry comes on its own. and sometimes it is far more better than the previous chemistry. Relations are nothing but our mind's creations which come into real when we get that kind of a person , they develop woth time. If the relations are true and wanted from both the sides the chemistry can be regained.. -- FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE ;)

Dear Kalav Well, I am a peaceful person and always believe in forgetting and forgiving. People have done wrong with me many a times, and I have been really upset. But nowhere till date has this happened - me not accepting a returning friend. Yes, I admit that there have been differences with returning friends for a while - because of the hurt, but in the long run, I have been able to forget and move on. The same in other relations too. This might be because of my strong belief - It is the deed of my friend or relative and there is some identity whom many call GOD who is watching. I let HIM do the decision and decide the verdict for these people. I am nowhere to take such decisions. Love all and peace with all

In common we need to agrree with your view. There may be casual issues where we can come to a compramise and most of the issues can be resolved in such a manner. However, when it comes to serious matters and touching issues, most of the people cannot tollerate if it hurts, whoever it may be.

I agree with you on some part of this ideology. It is true that if the connection is tarnished it will be impossible to put things the way it used to. Especially when it is a matter of trust. But then, I think it is different with family. When someone your connection with your family is tarnished, it has a greater possibility to be revived because no matter what happen, at the end of the day, family is always family.

More than likely you are correct. I think of damaged friendships and neglected friendships and it just never was the same when we tried to get back together. In a marriage relationship, where you see each other every day that is somewhat different. Your proximity gives you a chance to mend things before they get out of hand.

I do agree that relationships should never be taken for granted, and have to be "worked on". I also agree that previously close relationships can become strained, as folks change, and/or drift apart. However, I do think that such relationships can become repaired. Although this is likely only to occur when there is a true spirit of reconcilation at work in both parties; and both parties are willing to compromise, and undergo empathy towards the opposite party, to see the other person's point of view, and try and understand that if they are "difficult", then there are almost certainly reasons for this. Sometimes, there is the vital importance of controlling one's temper; and holding one's tongue...listening rather than speaking. Yes, I genuinely believe that "lost" relationships" can be found again, and perhaps even...become stronger than ever.

Just a drop of sourness can curdle the milk which can never be regained.I agree with you.Once a relationship comes under strain due to some misunderstanding it is difficult to regain the same camaraderie.Relationships are built on trust and if that trust is broken then nothing you do will bring it back.One may shake hands and make up in public but in the secret corners of the heart suspicion and mistrust will always remain.

I have felt this from some of my friend actually, unless you nurture it always the spark will never be lost but as for family i can easily bring it back especially if you are seeing one another again. But i do have some friends that i know that chemistry will never be the same ever again.

Speaking on the topic, between friends, it's difficult to bring back the same confidence once a strain occurs, but on the contrary on between parents and siblings, whatever may be the rift, it becomes light and light daily and it it's easily revertible, because parents love their children and vice-versa, so it depends upon the people(between who and who)? Cheers

It depends. I can't say that every relationship that went through problems and arguments won't last forever. There might certain relationship which will make the trust fade away while the others there is still chance to make up. It all up to oneself.(^^)

Well it kind of depends, I guess. There was a time when my daughter and I were disconnected, but we are closer than ever now for several years. However, with friends it can be a total disconnect. I have a friend who was my best friend but she took $700 from me and never paid me back. I never trusted her after that and I stayed out of her life for about 5 years. She calls me once in a blue moon and we do still love one another, but it's just not the same anymore.

I have only once undergone the bitter experience,and feel perhaps it is not possible to have the same sweetness and intimacy in relations once they are broken and rejoined again.There is a saying in our mother tongue,Hindi that says love is like a rope or a piece of thread which once broken cannot be rejoined without having a knot.Once a relationship gets bitter and broken by misunderstanding,the intimacy cannot be regained.The extremely sweet relationship of my father with his own younger brother was broken by a misunderstanding and then,after many years,the dispute was settled.But then it was only a fractured relationship.

Not easy to do. But, if the relationship to continue, one must begin to communicate. Communication is the key to it. Succumbing to better things is a win.

Trus is something we gain overtime and not overnight therefore it won't be easy to get those chemistry back so fast even after everything resolved because we learnt our experience

Connections are gained through shared experience. it can be any kind really. I think people take for granted when a friends life flows right along with theirs and then suddenly does not. They think the friend is gone when in reality it's the shared experiences. Eventually, people go their separate ways and it is hard to keep the spark of a relationship because it is hard to have shared experiences.