Do Your Doctors Listen To You
By KrauseHome
@KrauseHome (36448)
United States
May 25, 2012 2:21pm CST
or Blame you for not listening to them? No matter what is going on, they are always right, and even if a Doctor ever told you anything else confirming something, they must have been wrong, and their is no such thing as what you are saying. I am beginning to HATE some doctors, and really think it is time they learn how to listen to patients instead of telling them everything they know is Wrong.
Take my leg issue... Nothing I ever do is good enough. It is always my fault the wound is not healed yet. Even when it is less than one inch around they felt they need to debrede it even against my thoughts, thinking this would make it heal, and instead it kept on getting bigger. Then they said it was the Veins, which I got the vein ablassion while in the mean time I got 2 infections and the wound got bigger, but it was always my fault since they said I had to wait until the after the surgery before they would start another New graph.
Now since I have a new graph started, it could be my Diabetes. Am I under control? A doctor should know immediately how to fix this, and see a Doctor who knows more about Diabetes. I see one, and told there is no such thing as type 1.5 and unless he is in charge of what I need to do, there is nothing out there to help me. He even tried to tell me I know nothing about being Diabetic.
So I will keep better track of my numbers, eat more like I am supposed too, take my insulin, and hope for the Best. I am seeing someone different in 2 weeks and she will look over everything, and then we can go from there. Maybe there are some quick fixes, but I am tired of a Doctor always blaming me. They want me to not worry about if something is working or not.. Do what they want and if it takes 10 yrs. that is OK?
Am I the only one seeing this, or are Doctors getting a little more lax and less caring? Or if it is a situation like mine, why does every Doctor never talk and just seem to send you to a different doctor and then you have not been listening if nothing gets immediately solved right away.
~~TINA~~
9 people like this
38 responses
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
26 May 12
My doctors all listen to me. I keep track of everything that pertains to any condition of mine, write down questions I may have as they come up so I don't forget when I see them, always question any new medications before I get them so I know what to expect, etc.
One thing I did pick up on in what you said was in your next-to-last paragraph: So I will keep better track of my numbers, eat more like I am supposed too, take my insulin, and hope for the Best. If you can keep better track of your number and eat more like you are supposed to, you have not been doing all you can to help yourself. Maybe that is what your doctor is talking about. One thing you should never do is tell your doctor how to treat you. They're the ones who went to medical school and spent a lot of time and money to learn what they know. If you don't like a doctor's attitude, get another one.
So, do what you said you are going to do, monitor and record your numbers, eat EXACTLY as you should and I think you'll see a difference. If you are even the least bit overweight, do everything you can to lose that weight, even if it's five pounds. THEN you can say you're doing all you can for yourself and let the doctor know that. If it were me, I'd be writing down EVERY tiny thing I put in my mouth, even if it's one tiny peanut. Show that list to your doctor. Just don't forget to put any "cheats" on that list, too, although I hopy you won't cheat in your diet. With a wound like yours, you need to do EVERYTHING possible to help yourself.
Good luck and I hope your eating better and writing everything down for your doctor will help to get this thing healed fast.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
24 Jun 12
Well, I find even when I am doing everything I can to keep my numbers as close as they need to be, they are not always willing to listen to me and what I might be doing now to help things. Especially when I have not been feeling the Best, or dealing with some sort of infection. Personally all they ever want to do is say my Sugars are the reason for everything not working instead of wanting to work with me to help find a solution that can work for me as well.
@syramoon (654)
• United States
25 May 12
I've had this happen with several different doctors, it annoys me to wits end. They act like they know everything and in fact sometimes they know nothing. I won't even get into my broken ankle, but years back I went to a different doctor, because my normal doctor was on vacation. I knew I had a sinus infection, or an ear infection - I've had them before I know how they feel. The doctor asked me a bunch of questions and never even looked at me. He said it didn't sound like an infection, and I had to argue with him to get him to even look in my ear, then he was like "Just like I suspected you have an ear infection." And well he gave me ear drops, nothing else. I ended up getting an upper respiratory infection and when my doctor cam back from vacation he couldn't believe that the other doctor had treated me that way, and wouldn't even prescribe me something for the actual infection. I loved my doctor, he's retired now, so I'm stuck dealing with other morons.
And it sounds like you may partially be dealing with a surgeon. I've only ever met one surgeon in my whole life I've liked, and he wasn't even my surgeon he was the surgeon who did my dad's back surgery.
The other thing I find that I hate about doctors and hospitals they act like even when you're in there for routine check up they own you. It makes me infuriated. I've told more than one doctor, You're a doctor, maybe even a knowledgeable one, but you are not God.
I hope this new doctor is a little more understanding and doesn't have her ears full of her ego and will listen to what you have to say.
Best Wishes! :)
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
13 Jun 12
Well, since I started this discussion it has been a whirl wind with Doctors. The New diabetic doctor I seen was a Joke, and then the graph ended up not working and making my Leg worse, and so the Wound clinic is at a stand still knowing what is Best to do for me from here. It can be quite frustrating for sure.
@peavey (16936)
• United States
25 May 12
You're certainly not the only one seeing this. I've had a really hard time finding a doctor who listened to me. I finally found one and went to her for about a year before she retired, so I'm back to searching. I will go to one that I went before because I need a prescription renewed (blood pressure) but I'm going to keep looking.
This one nearly killed me when she insisted that I take a blood pressure medicine in addition to the one I'm taking. I have kidney disease and my body doesn't metabolize things like most people's do and I knew I couldn't take it the way she prescribed it. She insisted, so I tried it, then quit when I got so weak I couldn't walk across the floor. She was irritated when I told her and told me to try it again because "it should work!" , but I refused. I'm not gonna die just to satisfy some doctor's ego and it wasn't my fault that I couldn't take it.
Anyway, yes, it seems to me that doctors don't really care any more. I have had good doctors in the past.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
20 Jun 12
There are definately days I have thought and felt the same way with this. I know with all my Health problems, especially with the Chronic wound not wanting to heal many times it is quite frustrating to get them to listen to me, and ever decide what they want to do next without constantly blaming me.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
16 Jun 12
Personally I can relate with you with this one, as I took one last yr. that was part of the reason I ended up in the Hospital. Even though they thought it was my heart, I am sure a lot of it was the Blood pressure medication. It is getting to the point I am having major issues with a lot of the medications out there, and it makes me wonder when a Doctor will ever really listen instead of just having us try something?
What is worse yet, when you have to see a lot of different doctors for everything and no one seems to just agree. They continue to disagree so you really wonder what is really the Best.
@GardenGerty (160696)
• United States
26 May 12
Tina, I think you need to see a specialist in diabetes and metabolic disorders. All of your care needs to be supervised by one caring individual who listens.
I do not see doctors often at all, and I am thankful for my health, but I do know how people should be treated, and it is not this way.
I think, in fact, that when you see this new doctor you need to take a copy of this discussion and show her how you are feeling. How you feel also affects how you heal. Of course your sore is caused by your diabetes, and that is such an individualized disease that it is hard to control. If it was simple we could just say "Here, Tina, eat this 'Purina Diabetes Chow' for three meals and two snacks daily. At 8 am and 8 pm inject yourself with so many units of such and such insulin and you will be just fine. Diabetes does not work like that. I am glad that at least you can come vent here and get listened to.
I do not see doctors often at all, and I am thankful for my health, but I do know how people should be treated, and it is not this way. I think, in fact, that when you see this new doctor you need to take a copy of this discussion and show her how you are feeling. How you feel also affects how you heal. Of course your sore is caused by your diabetes, and that is such an individualized disease that it is hard to control. If it was simple we could just say "Here, Tina, eat this 'Purina Diabetes Chow' for three meals and two snacks daily. At 8 am and 8 pm inject yourself with so many units of such and such insulin and you will be just fine. Diabetes does not work like that. I am glad that at least you can come vent here and get listened to.1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
24 Jun 12
Thanks my friends, and I did try bringing up some of this information with the Doctor who upset me, and he was doubting my every word, so before I see a Doctor again on the 12th, I will be doing some research and printing out of this information and asking some questions, and then go from there. Maybe in time this can help get down to the bottom of what for me is really going on, and what will be my Best resource for help from here.
@GardenGerty (160696)
• United States
26 May 12
Quick search online yields this information about type 1.5 Diabetes, words taken directly from Diabetesnet.com other names for this are Slow Onset Type 1 or Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults or LADA.. This looks like an informative website.
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
26 May 12
Tina, look this website up that GG has mentioned. Print out everything that pertains to Type 1.5 diabetes and show it to your doctor. Actually, I would print two copies and make sure the nurse or office staff puts a copy into your file because the doctor may not want to look at it since he insists that it doesn't exist. But, try to get him to look at it, anyway, just to prove that it does exist.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
27 May 12
Some doctors listen but many do not. Some seem to regard their patients as idiots who should do as they are told and never question or research data on their own. One even told me I should not read the warnings on medicine regarding side effects.
I do not know what the system is in America but here in Australia they brought in a shorter course to cover a shortage of doctors. GP's get reduced training and cannot work in hospitals so they do not know everything. They can handle most everyday illnesses but have not done the deeper study.
I had a doctor when I was a child who was a brilliant diagnostic. He was a fully qualified MD and that seems to make a difference. We just do not get doctors like that these days. They seem to be General practitioners or specialists now.
My only suggestion is to try different doctors until you find one who will listen and explain.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
25 Jul 12
Seriously, it is sad when you have to keep on going to different doctors just to get one to work with you, and understand you. And then so many of them are focused on what works for about 75% of the people to when it does not work for you they cannot believe it, and try blaming it on you. They never listen to reason, and it is a wonder they never kill more than they do.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
27 Jul 12
This is the problem that most Doctors never take time to consider, and think all medications will work for everyone no matter what they are, and even when someone is having some Allergic reactions it is always something else causing them. And then when you mention something that seems to work, they want to doubt you and send you to someone else for a second opinion only to find out you were right?
1 person likes this
@allyoftherain (7208)
• United States
26 May 12
That's something very frustrating to go through and I can relate on some levels having dealt with doctors who I felt really weren't listening to me. I have struggled with moderate (and flirting with severe) acne since my early teens. The first doctor I went to about it gave me topical treatment after topical treatment. I would use it as directed, see no results, and go back to the doctor and tell him so. He had the nerve to tell me that it didn't work in the drawer. I was angry because he just didn't believe me, and since I still had acne it must be my fault. I switched to a dermatologist who had me schedule appointments three months apart, wait three hours to get in, and then would sit and talk with me for maybe 5 minutes before sending me out with little samples in baggies. When I told him I didn't think they were effective, he told me that I needed to give them time to work. 
That was a nightmare.
I switched dermatologists, and found a winner. He sat down with me and asked about my history of what I've tried and he listened to me and recommended a treatment that I wanted,
It sounds like your doctors are putting you through lots of unnecessary pain and blaming you when their treatments aren't working. Go ahead and go for that second opinion, and be assertive when you talk about what you've been through already. There are caring doctors out there who will listen to you, you just got to look a little harder for them.
I was angry because he just didn't believe me, and since I still had acne it must be my fault. I switched to a dermatologist who had me schedule appointments three months apart, wait three hours to get in, and then would sit and talk with me for maybe 5 minutes before sending me out with little samples in baggies. When I told him I didn't think they were effective, he told me that I needed to give them time to work. That was a nightmare.
I switched dermatologists, and found a winner. He sat down with me and asked about my history of what I've tried and he listened to me and recommended a treatment that I wanted,
It sounds like your doctors are putting you through lots of unnecessary pain and blaming you when their treatments aren't working. Go ahead and go for that second opinion, and be assertive when you talk about what you've been through already. There are caring doctors out there who will listen to you, you just got to look a little harder for them.1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
17 Jul 12
Yes, and the worst problem anymore with the Health Care system the way it is, is in finding Doctors who will believe you. Most of the time until they run their own tests even when other Doctors have told you something they do not always want to believe what you are saying. Glad you found one that works.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
25 May 12
one of the problems with having diabetes is heals don't would fast like normal people, I am a diabetic
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
8 Jun 12
Yes, it is hard for a Diabetic to heal once they get a cut, but to think many times they are often the ones who get blamed for everything even when they are attacking things the Best they can, it makes you wonder.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
10 Jun 12
I know it is my fault I have diabetes I was not born with it. I got it because I didn't take care of myself. That is not the doctors fault. Every doctor told me to lose weight before I had diabetes or I would get diabetes I didn;t do it and they were right. They were not blaming me but telling me a medical fact.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
13 Jun 12
True, but so many Doctors are so condisending anymore. Yes, it is up to you what happens from here, but when people are told to blame themselves for everything it does not help as well.
@babystar1 (4233)
• United States
28 May 12
Most of the doctors we have here are all the same. I think we get all the doctors that dont no nothing. Most of the doctors guess whats wrong with you or they carry along with them a small computer and look up your problems and you could of did the same thing yourself. Than you walk away with a large office bill. When I see my doctor you have to only tell her one problem thats wrong with you. Like if you have back problems thats all you can talk to her about. If you also have headaches you have to make another office visit and pay again. I sure hope you can fine the right dr. I wish we had better dr. here
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
27 Jul 12
Personally I can about relate with this one, as around here they have to send you to different doctors for almost everything as well. When you get an infection and they have to send you to a different Doctor who gives you an Antibiotic that works due to the doctor you were seeing saying that would not work, it makes you wonder. What ever happened to Doctors knowing things to help you, and wanting to help instead of always having to never listen and pass you back and forth?
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
25 May 12
I am sorry you are having these issues with a doctor....I go to a PA....and she listens....asks questions....and then gives me the results.....if there is something unsolved it usually is my own fault for not mentioning it....I get so darn nervous when I go that my blood pressure is high..etc. Hopefully the new one will be better for you.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
13 Jun 12
Well, I was unable to make the last apt. with the new Diabtic doctor as I was not feeling well. Ended up getting a cold, but I am still planning on seeing her next month when we get back from vacation. Just all the dealings with everything else going on right now as well as the pain at times, somehow I wish more Doctors could relate and want to help out a little more.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
28 May 12
I don't think it's just you at all. I have found that there are a lot of doctors that are hardened or cold. It's like their profession is all about the money now. I think that there was a time when the profession was to help people and for those that had a thirst for knowledge. I think that it has changed drastically. I have been looking for "my doctor" for a ling time now and have yet to find them.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
14 Aug 12
Well, luckily I do have a couple of doctors out there that I do Trust, and want to be around. It just is a shame sometimes that there are the ones out there who do not care, and always want to blame you for something. Makes you wonder when caring went out their window, and the almighty dollar entered in, and how would they feel if they were the one in your shoes?
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
1 Jun 12
I think doctors feel they have to have all the answers and if they cannot come up with adequate answers, they then start to blame the patients because it is easier and it takes the strain and responsibility off of them. They then get to save face and still look like the all knowing beings that they think they are.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
16 Aug 12
I often wonderful how they can live with themselves at the end of the day. Have they ever considered karma and do they really think they are gods? Truly it makes you wonder if this is the start of the worst is yet to come?
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
30 May 12
You are definitely not the only one that is seeing this. It was because of the fact that doctors wouldn't listen to my husband and were instead telling him that there was no reason that he should be having any kind of pain that it took well over a year for him to be diagnosed with lymphoma.
It was only after his health insurance changed from one type to another that he was actually able to start getting the answers that he needed. I actually believe that if he hadn't had to change doctors two years ago that we would either still be looking for the answer of what was causing him to have pain or he wouldn't be alive today.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
16 Aug 12
That is so sad ... And makes you wonder. I know in my situation I am beginning to wonder what it is going to take to are the light at the end of the tunnel. Wish we could go back to the good old days when insurance was not the determining factor on what they want to do.
@mariab2000 (740)
• Canada
28 May 12
I guess it varies from one doctor to another. Not all of them are so careless or unattentive to their patients. My family doctor alway listens to my problems and what I have to say and will give the remedy needed or he will refer me to the appropriate specialist if needed...I hope you can find a good doctor too that will listen and solve your problems efficiently...
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
14 Aug 12
Well, since anymore when you have different issues they have to continue to send you to different types of doctors for anything going on, it makes you wonder what will be the Best for you. I am seeing quite a few different doctors it seems for all different issues. Most of them are great, except for one. But when you see a Bad one, it makes you want to question everyone else as well.
@sanjayjc1992 (1)
• India
28 May 12
Doctors of this generation just require money. Once they get that they'l just forget about their patients and responsibilities.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
27 Jul 12
This could be about the Truth for some of them. They realize as a Doctor they can make lots of money, and forget about customer service and making sure a patient is really OK. I think personally gone are the days where most of them care, and now we are just a number.
@sukumar794 (5040)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
26 May 12
Doctors mostly lend a patient hearing to the patients describing their health problems. In fact proper diagnosis and arriving at right medication could be arrived at only after gaining good knowledge of patient's reflections on a health condition.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
14 Jul 12
Yes, but many times it takes them realizing sometimes a patient could be right in some of the things they are accessing to their problems or conditions as well. I get tired of Doctors not wanting to listen to me in what medications work best, and what ones don't and they always trying to give me something that never works. Or taking forever to find out what is wrong so you hurt for months or yrs. until they do.
@GreenMoo (11834)
•
26 May 12
Tina, I'm so sorry for your continued troubles.
Personally I am very lucky and have not had to see a doctor for a long long time. Many years ago though I had a potentially life threatening swallowing issue. My doctor tried to prescribe Valium, saying I had Post Natal Depression. This is despite my telling him that the problem began BEFORE I was pregnant, but I only went to the doctor once the baby was born as I would have refused treatment whilst I was carrying. He was obviously really listening to me.
To give that doctor his due though, it turned out to be a fairly unusual complaint rarely found in my cultural group. I was successfully diagnosed and treated when I took myself off to a specialist.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
12 Jul 12
Yes, the main issue sometimes is the Doctors who are only often assuming, and not really wanting to listen, and then the problem always seems to be the changing medicines and diagnosis treatments out there as well. But since with your situation you were able to in time get the help needed, this is what I am hoping happens for me as well.
@Troublegum (641)
• United States
26 May 12
Remembering that all docs are different and that there are good and bad people in every profession. I will offer this one little point for discussion.
A friend of mine is a doc and this is how the other side goes. Your doctor has completed 8-16 years of schooling BEYOND college. 4-8 of those years have been dedicated specifically to doing what it is that you are there to see them for. Beyond this they have a varying number of years practicing in the field
Now consider the time you sat on the waiting room. Were they late getting to you? If yes, it is most likely because they were dealing with important problems with the prior patient.
Now here is the complaint I hear... The doc has dedicated his/her life to understanding how to treat disease. The patient has usually spent 2-15 hours researching on the internet. The internet is often oversimplified, wrong, or missinterpereted by the person reading it.
My friend said she spent the first years of practicing, trying to explain, educate and argue with patients. but because she did not have time to teach the entire course on physiology, and subsections on treatment of specific disease most patients we basically still left with the choice of trusting her judgment or not. Of late she has streamlined the discussion to basicly giving the patient that choice. Once she has all the information she needs she makes a medical decision which is not subject to debate unless the debate come from a colleague. This doesn't mean the patient won't get options, but just know that something you saw on dr. Phil is not really going to be taken into consideration, and there are other patients in rooms who don't want to have to wait for you to learn the physiology behind a disease while they wait.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
21 Jul 12
Yes, but what do you do when a Doctor and his nurse, which happens to also be your Case Manager says there is nothing more we can do. I have done everything we do here. I have never heard that skin grafts is the only thing left for wound care, and if that does not work then you are on your own? Or not wanting to listen to me when I have an infection telling them I know an Antibiotic that works, and instead they send me to another Doctor who puts me on the Antibiotic that works without even questioning it, and then will see me in a week to see if this has helped any.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
20 Jul 12
Well, my regular Doctor listens and usually tries to work with me. My main issue is with the Wound Healing Center and now they say I am uncooperative even though they do not know how to help me anymore? Always blaming me for everything, and quite frustrating. If the doctors could only work together and let each one know what works or worked, and what did not it would be a lot more easier.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
26 May 12
Hi,
I would go for a second opinion and won't mind to doctor in such cases.
I think until unless the doctor doesn't listen, how can he prescribe the medicines.
I have one or two selective doctors who my history (i.e. since i am in this town for the past 15 years) well and they understand me, we chat about the problem in detail and i demand an explanation as why, how etc.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
17 Jul 12
Well, I have gone to a different doctor that is going to try and work with me, and I think will hopefully listen more as well. She still is doubting things I have been told before, but it will be interesting to see after she does this latest Blood work what she will say from here.
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
26 May 12
We need to work hand in hand with our doctors, we are there to tell them that we are sick, we describe the things we feel inside. They are the ones who can see those things we exhibit. Yes, they knows best but they should listen to their patients, be objective as much as possible in order for them to make the genuine diagnoses and for us to be appropriately and promptly managed. I really want to congratulate you for struggling to manage your diabetes. I seldom see patients to be like that.
It appears that you need to find a new doctor ASAP. Really, if you are not that happy anymore, look for one that fits you and what you really deserve.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
21 Jul 12
Yes, when it comes to the Doctor at the Wound Care center, I know it is time to see a New doctor, etc. and I will be refusing to ever see him again. When you do get a second opinion, and they listen to you, and try and help you if really often makes you question the first Doctors judgement for sure.
