i was that brave to answer back last night
By jazel_juan
@jazel_juan (15746)
Philippines
May 25, 2012 7:50pm CST
We came home both tired and stressed out.
The house was a mess, i really do not mind this as i know my cousin who is looking after my kid got his hands full plus he is a guy so i do not expect much other than him looking after my kiddo. So i really do not mind the mess when we arrive home but here my hubby got tired of it i guess and lashed it out on ME! a triggered spark and i answered back, i know i had to because i also got my hands full as if i am working the whole day. So i answered him back and yes i was that brave, usually i just keep my mum... but this time i know i have to also tell him what is on my mind.
He was surprised and said now i am brave to answer him back and i said i know i have to and he went outside fuming more.
We then went to sleep - still together ( phew!) and at dawn, he asked me if i am still mad and i said no, i just need to say what i feel, it is not only him that is having a hard time and we patches things up 
really i didn't know whats gotten into me, i was THAT brave but glad we are fine again.
really i didn't know whats gotten into me, i was THAT brave but glad we are fine again. 2 people like this
15 responses
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
26 May 12
Sometimes spark flew on concerns , just because both of you are tired already. That's understandable jazel.
But what i laughed at , was him telling you that you were so brave to answer him back.
My husband don't tell me that, but simply tells me to stop, before his temper will escalate. 
My husband don't tell me that, but simply tells me to stop, before his temper will escalate. 1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
28 May 12
i guess i have grown braver, i realized that it would also not hurt to really speak out and tell him what is on my mind, plus i am tired of crying.
Good thing you hubby hugs you..how come mine doesn't do that when i am upset.. 
i hug him@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
28 May 12
yes he told me that i guess he was surprised because i would usually just cry and not answer him but that time i answered him and did not cry at all. Instead i answered him back without crying! 
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
28 May 12
Hmm, you have grown braver , jazel.
I used to cry to , whenever me and my husband have an argument when we were still younger. That would melt his heart and would stop and in a while hug me.
But i have known better now, i also answer back, though i try to size up the situation. 
I used to cry to , whenever me and my husband have an argument when we were still younger. That would melt his heart and would stop and in a while hug me.
But i have known better now, i also answer back, though i try to size up the situation. 
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
26 May 12
I guess a lot of bad things happen when two people are tired and everything isn't going the way both want it to be. I think you just needed to blow off some steam and wasn't able to control yourself. But don't make it a habit though, he might not feel the same when you start nagging.
Anyhow, it might also be good to just find a place to keep calm first when tired before coming home. hehe.. It might be you snapping at your husband now, what if you both start snapping at your kid? 
Good that things are settled. Perhaps you make sure that the house is not a mess before leaving and keep things out of the kids way so that you don't need to come home to a mess next time.
Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
Good that things are settled. Perhaps you make sure that the house is not a mess before leaving and keep things out of the kids way so that you don't need to come home to a mess next time.
Have a great MyLot experience ahead!1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
28 May 12
Truly a child turns our world up-side-down! Last night my nephew and neice had a sleep over with me (they're 4.8 and 1.5 years old) and they kept me up all night with constant qualms and excitement that they can't sleep perhaps because they're in a new place. I'm just glad that I don't have work today, else I would surely regret having them for the night! hahahahah.. @jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
28 May 12
kids are quite handful laydee, well my three kids are and yes they will surely keep you up at night! @jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 May 12
oh i tell you laydee, i make sure things are in order before we leave and guess what we come home as if the house has been through a hurricane!
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
26 May 12
It is not healthy in a relationship that only the one has the power to speak because he is the man of the house. You both tried to be build a relationship together and it is not good when he is the only one who think he is right. We have to say and defend ourselves too. You need to say something because if you will not you might explode one day that you never expected. 
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
28 May 12
i do agree, one really explode especially if feelings are kept in tact.. and i really am glad i speak out.
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 May 12
i have read your post shibham, well economy is pretty good here they say but then we could not feel it lol life is pretty hard especially with us three kids... i said more in your post it was quite profound.
it was quite profound.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
26 May 12
Good that it was all for a short time and now it is all over... we could discuss this bravery and awards or rewards over a mug of iced coffee...
but wait... there is a word of caution from the learned sids - "sometimes an act of bravery is not the right way to handle things" 
but wait... there is a word of caution from the learned sids - "sometimes an act of bravery is not the right way to handle things" @jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 May 12
or beware your wifey might do something outrageous such as that as well!
@musicloverfriend (1465)
• India
26 May 12
In a relationship, both should have the freedom to express themselves and the other shouldn't try to impose monopoly!!!! I see you expressed and your husband understood what you've been going through. You guys are a beautiful couple
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 May 12
beautiful? thank you but never perfect, i do not know actually if he fully understands me but i know somehow he is trying to
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
26 May 12
For sure, no couple is perfect at all, even though we are match a lots but still get conflicts sometime....
@mylesnarvaez (5451)
• Philippines
26 May 12
hi!
it's probably just an outburst in your part as you were both tired. and maybe you needed an outburst after being usually silent about domestic stuff like that. since you slept together and patched up not a few hours after... it was a good sign.
don't be afraid to answer back and let off some steam while you're at it. you are entitled to it. i believe marriage as a partnership and always a work in progress. besides we are human and a woman to boot (hehe). we have so much love and a huge capacity to care but we also get tired... and we flare up when mad but we don't stay mad.
must be why volcanoes are more associated with women. can be unpredictable. can really blow off hard. but once the steam has been let off... it stays quiet once again. hehe
cheers!
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 May 12
i love the part on your comparing us to volcanoes because it is right on. I am usually like it, its like gaining momentum for the outburst and when i am done, i keep quiet.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
26 May 12
that is good that you and your husband patched things up. it also seems great that you spoke your mind. you did it without offending him, you were just angry and needed to let him know how you feel. as long as you do it with love and respect...this is your right to do. he should be able to do the same with you. it's not good or healthy for either of you to keep things in.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 May 12
actually i think i did offend him that is why he went outside to let some steam off...
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
26 May 12
That's fine, you're not a tree :p -hehehe, just kidding.
That happens beyond control when your emotions overflow.
At least he now knows what you feel and he knows what he should and must avoid as well.
Now it's weekend...enjoy the rest of it 
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 May 12
and he knows i can speak my mind. he said how come i am not afraid? i mean why should i be afraid of him right? i respect him but i am not afraid of him 
he said how come i am not afraid? i mean why should i be afraid of him right? i respect him but i am not afraid of him 
@usemyname (640)
• Philippines
26 May 12
Good for you! Sometimes you just have to let all out. . . Or else you'll end up hurting yourself in the process (both mentally and emotionally).
1 person likes this
@mommynigabby (41)
• Philippines
26 May 12
as a wife, we can only endure so much. I'm glad you both patched up already.
@jkct02 (2874)
• Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia
26 May 12
Why do you feel that you had to be BRAVE to say something in your mind to your husband? Isn't your relationship with him an equal one? I have this question because my wife always talked louder than me Seriously I think both of you should try to communicate more to avoid any misunderstandings. Don't let some small things to add up to become big things. I am sure you both don't mean that but sometimes when people are emotional, it may become bigger than it really is.
Seriously I think both of you should try to communicate more to avoid any misunderstandings. Don't let some small things to add up to become big things. I am sure you both don't mean that but sometimes when people are emotional, it may become bigger than it really is. 1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
28 May 12
it is equal but most of the time i really do not answer him back to avoid arguments.
@rewardsinlife (1132)
• United States
26 May 12
Sometimes things can just come down to a boiling point. Make sure that what you are going through is not something deeper. Often, it is not about the messy house, that is the last straw, and that is what the fight ends up being about.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 May 12
yes i guess it came to the boiling point where we had to get what we feel out. I hope it stops there too
@poppywoppy (89)
• United States
26 May 12
lol, you shouldn't be afraid to answer back sometimes if you have something that is really bothering you, if not it will only keep building up and just keep getting worse. I don't think any husband who loves his wife would leave her that easily.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
28 May 12
i really do not think he will leave me...
but i do not like the arguing actually..
@toniganzon (72535)
• Philippines
28 May 12
Why is it that between husband and wife, wife is not allowed to answer back? I've always voiced out my opinion to my husband and there never was a time that i don't answer back.
I'm glad you did. He needs to hear your voice once in awhile. And i'm glad you're fine now with each other again.
When i got married, my husband knew who i really am and we both didn't have great expectations from each other and no stereotyping. He does what normally housewives would do. He even took care of our son when he was just an infant, practically like a mother would.
