Who is the dicision maker among the husbands and wives?

I wonder how many husbands have just given up the fight. They know they are to be the leader of the family, or at least a co-equal of their wife, but yet the wife always insists on having her way. Many wives do not trust their husbands to lead, and the husband chooses not to fight about that.

To be honest I don't know but over here they say: the woman is the boss at home, so one way or the other her will is law. Might be this is history.. the history of our country.. men were sailors and farmers, the women are in charge of everything incl. the money. I don't know if it's still like this, to be honest I don't think so. This also might to have to do with the fact there are way more foreigners living over here.. with other habits but also with dominant men .. not the kind we would like to have for a husband, unless you like to be humilated, locked up, beaten up and ask for some money to buy food. Also it might depend on who is earning the money.. if both do, both will decide. Over here they also say that if it comes to big spending (house, car, etc) it's the man who decides. Smaller things the woman. Also the man buy way more expensive "toys" for himself, the woman seldom does (even not if her income is way higher) she mostly spends money/buys presents for others (husband, kids, family, friends) in the first place. But this all might have to do also with the way you are raised and your character. Personally I don't think it's a good think always to give in. By experience I know that it will cost your own luck, goals in life and you can also get in seriously financial problems because of that (a partner who keeps spending while the money is not available is a big problem). If that happens there is no peace I can tell you. Why arguments and quarrels start or who starts them I can't tell you. With us it is mostly the men as well .. but worser it gets mostly if a woman gives her opinion as well.

when I was married we made our decisions together and that is the way it should be marriage is a patnership

I don't think that there should be only one person in the couple who is able to make decisions; the most important thing is that you both are able to work together to make the decisions that are important in your relationship at the time. I would hate it if I was the one who had to decide on everything all of the time, and I know that I wouldn't like it if I wasn't able to make any choices either. My boyfriend and I always work together to try and come to some kind of solution, and I have to say that it does usually work quite well for us the majority of the time.

Being considered as the head of the family, it is quite obvious that i would be the decision-maker regarding family matters, although I "always" my wife's opinion first and explain the rational of such decision. Eventually, there were times for arguments, but a compromise is always made after a deliberation of sort of the issue at hand.

hi, for me,i think the decision maker among the husbands and wives are more on the husband because he is the father of the family so the final decision will come from his decision,even in reality i have observed too those couple near in my house are more husband is the decision maker of the family.

It sounds like you're saying the husband should be the decision maker in the family unless he allows the wife to do so, thus he's still the ultimate decision maker, because he has handed his power over to the wife. is that right? If that is right, then that is the most SEXIST thing I've heard in a long time!! What the hell automatically gives one gender the right to be head over the other gender? My husband and I work together. When we have something to decide, we talk about it until we reach a mutual decision. This is not a fight, rather a discussion. He wants something extremely expensive, but very practical. I'm better with money than he is, so we talk about it. In this case, a computer. We look at our expences. We have some bills to pay, and we have a vacation planned with my parents, that can not be changed. So we need to wait to get the new computer until after the bills are paid up, and after our trip. We put aside the amount of money we are going to spend on the trip, tickets, accomodations, food, gifts for family, spending money, and promise not to exceed the budget. Then we look at our future bills, and paychecks, and figure out TOGETHER that the best time to get the computer would be the first month in May. The first month in May comes along, and he gets a new computer. Actually, the computer he needs exceeds our budget a little bit, so we talk about it, and figure out how we are going to spend less money in the month of may, to make up for this necessary expense. SUCCESS!!!! It's now almost the end of May, and not only does he have a new computer, but WE have enough money to get us until we get paid at the beginning of June. THAT is an example of two people deciding together, where no ONE has the final word. My husband doesn't give me consent to do anything. I am a free human being. Likewise, I don't give him consent to do anything, as he is free. However, incases that will affect us both, as money will, we work TOGETHER. There is no authority in our marriage, and no head. We don't even share a last name!!!

hi, I know that husbands should be decision maker in the family. But, it is also good to hear from the wives. Husband and wife should be partner in building the family. So, there's none who dominates the family. So, I think it is good to have discussion between husband and wife to make fair and win-win solutions for the family.

When we had some quarrel, I just keep my mouth shut and listen to her this is to avoid the argument grow bigger and bigger. With regards to your question who will have the final say, I guess both must have the agreement when making a decision. Both must be involved in decision making so that no one will be put into blame when a problem occurs. However, for me, the husband still have the final say or the one to make the decision if ever they agreed on something.

I don';t think that in a relationship should be someone who takes the decisions. I personally wouldn't accept to be with someone who wouldn't let me decide. we are all humans and we have the right to decide

Hi, It can not happen every time either the wife or the husband is always right and I think if some decisions are to be taken it should be a joint decision. However certain areas can be divided among the two to avoid the quarrels but I support healthy arguments and discussions so we are clear about the pros and cons. Every one would love to have peace at home but keeping silent and escaping the debate is not a good sign always as your wife will never understand if she’s always right or she might regret her decisions at a later date. In our marriage of 15 years, we do a lot of consultations with each other like if I want to invest something somewhere I do share the information and check if the idea is ok, of course some times that make him (husband) furious and he feels its silly then its my turn to tell him why I am doing and what could be the benefits etc. So when he listens to my views, he might come out with more options or he let me do what I said. He too considers my opinions on various issues and sometimes takes his own decision. But whenever and whatever we do, the decisions regarding the issues of children are always jointly taken. He is basically the dominator but he gives me space too so the arguments are a welcome step towards better decisions. Happy lotting.