Should I continue to find out the truth?

In your situation I would talk to my colleague again and I would say something like this: "I can't forget the incident at the restaurant, and I would like to know what that woman said to me. You don't have to protect me, and I would like to know the truth even if she insulted me" I think that your colleague is afraid to tell you the truth, because he doesn't want to hurt you, but I think it is better to know the truth. You wrote that deep down you wanted the truth and I think it will be hard to put it behind you if you don't know what she said. If you know the truth you don't have to keep on guessing and that is the reason why I think that you should ask your colleague again.

I find it very rude when people are speaking in different language in the presence of someone who has no idea what they are talking about. I suppose one of the reasons I'd like to learn, even if only a litte bit, the local language of a place I live in is to be able to understand them better when I interact directly with them. I'd definitely find out what were said one way or the other even if it only means to satisfy my own curiosity.

Was the old lady just a passerby or was she working in the establishment? I think there is something to it that maybe you should really ask your friend what they were talking about and since it was concerning you and how you were delayed inside, then you must know. Just ask nicely from your friend i am sure it is bothering that person too... right? he has to spill it out on you... goodluck!

Hello, It sounds like an issue of some sort of discrimination top me. It could even be a racism issue. I don't think there's much you can do unless you have someone to vouch for you like your friend. You need to protect yourself because these sort of things can turn nasty depending on where you are. It must be hard.

I suppose you'd better find out the truth so that you can deal with such things like that next time. But it denpends on what kind of your colleague is. I feel he is a good guy who is helpful and considerate.Good luck to you.

I would definitely want to know why she was denying me entry into the eating establishment and I probably would have asked her directly. If it was a language issue and she couldn't communicate directly, I would have demanded to know from the co-worker or boss exactly what the issue was. I would have taken it as an insult and I wouldn't just let it go. But that's just me...

That's horrible! I probably wouldn't have wanted to know.

Hello there, you need trust and respect at work as well. If it is a get together meal for all your colleagues, then your colleagues should respect you and be honest with you. From what you said, I think the colleague you approached were local as he can speak the local language. You should tell him how you feel and find out the true from him.

I think it doesn't matter that you find out the truth or not. As I think the truth is not so pleasant. Therefore your colleague didn't tell you why that woman didn't allow you enter the buffet. No need to make yourself unhappy by the stupid people. I love China

Hi Hiddenwing. I notice you are from China, or IN China. Is China the foreign country, or somewhere else? Chinese really hate Americans(but they love our money) so if you're American, I recommend "pimp slapping" her into place and letting her know who's boss. Another good thing to do in this situation is to fart in her general direction whilst passing her. This usually forces people out of your general direction and allows you to pass. Also, this woman probably has a third grade education. Pull out your cell phone or other high tech gadget and hold it in front of her to confuse her, while doing this, gingerly open the door, and then you may pass unnoticed. If all of these fail, pull a coin out of your pocket and do the magic trick where you pretend to pull it out of her ear, then hand her the coin.

I would let it go. Some things are not worth finding out.

That's quite interesting. Did you break a dress code perhaps? It would be good to know that.

You can try to squeeze the information from your colleague if it really bothers you to know the truth. Just be ready for the truth that you might find since it could be an insulting remark that is why your colleague didn't tell it to you in the first place.

I think you should ask your boss and find out the truth. It is important specially because it involves you.

That would be my guest. Probably the friend didn't want to upset you by telling you what she said, so he just avoided it.

If i were on your shoes, i would probably insist and persist on knowing the reason why this lady won't let me in on the first place. Even your friend tended to be somewhat polite in refraining to tell you the truth, you should clearly state that you wanted to know the truth and you would be fine even it is an insult or disgust or whatever.

If I were you better find out what was all about the restaurant staff had told about you. So you know how to deal with those kind of situation next time. Take care.Have a nice day!

I don't know who that old lady is, but I would like to know that first. If it's her house or the eldest of ... I think she deserves respect. Also I think it's good to know why you were not allowed at the first place to come in. Perhaps you had to take of your shoes, take a gift or ... Only if you ask you will know it for the next time.

I guess who better find the truth regarding that words that the lady said so that wont be bother anymore and be at peace.

If I were you, I would first request my colleague to tell me what was happening but in case my colleague does not want to tell me then I would go back to the same place with another colleague/friend and find out whether that old lady will still behave the same way. If she does, then I would insist of knowing the reason why she would not let me in.