As to what extent can you go to save your relationship?
By zip12ph
@zip12ph (179)
Philippines
May 29, 2012 2:48pm CST
I have a friend since high school whom i pity but at the same time hate for the things that she had been doing for the past 3 months just to win his husband's love back. His husband has a relationship with another woman which my friend know about. I do understand that my friend love this guy so much, but what i hated is that, she give up her work as Operations Manager of her company, she even let her husband mistress stay with them and worst of all she even acts like a house helper for both her husband and the other woman.
I often advised her to just let go and moved on for her own happiness and also to have her own self respect back, but my friend never bother to listen and just go on sacrificing.I just give up and let her be, since its the decision she made.
How about you, how far can you go to save your relationship? and also can you give me advice on what to do with my friend? thank you.
9 responses
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
29 May 12
I guess your friend just blind by love, and she knew that her husband not love her at all. Why she still want this man to be around, that just dumb. Like I said, she just blind by love, and she should awake from it. Two women share one man under the same roof, and she still can accept, what a woman. Good luck to your friend then.
@zip12ph (179)
• Philippines
29 May 12
hi King, it's true, even i bid good luck to her, and i admit that i also consider that what she's doing to herself is so dumb, i believe that before we can love other that much, we must first learn to love our self . i think my friend needs to seek professional advice. Thank you so much.
@couchPotato100 (94)
•
29 May 12
The story you just laid out sounds really bad. As an outsider I think it's strange and absurd. And who knows why your friend is catering her husband and his mistress, that's just crazy, but as long as she's comfortable with the whole situation and herself then I guess it's best to just leave it be.
@jambi462 (4576)
• United States
1 Jun 12
I went through a break up over six months ago and it was the best relationship I could ever imagine so when she started to grow away from me I tried to do everything I possibly could to make her happy. I tried to take her for walks and go and do things with her but she just wasn't really into it. Even before she started acting that way I was already doing so much to make her happy.
I would clean our room, I would wash our laundry, I would make lunches for her for when she was on break from work, I would cook dinner for her, and I would offer to help her with virtually everything. Sometimes though you just can't save a relationship and I was willing to do anything to do that but I think at that time she was just over me or she just needed to be on her own because she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life and didn't really know herself.
@zip12ph (179)
• Philippines
1 Jun 12
thank you Jambi, i also wish that my friend will do just what you did, to realize that that fight needs to stop and she needs to move on, the relationship she is fighting is not worth the effort, since this has been happening even before they decided to get married. My friend is really blind by her feeling for this guy but i do pray that God will direct her to the better way of happiness.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
31 May 12
I think that if your relationship is worth saving, then you should be able to do everything within your power to be able to get that person to love you again. However, there is no way that I would allow anything like that to happen in my life. I would not allow my man to have another woman in our house, and then tend to their every need. I have a lot more respect for myself than that, and this woman should know that she is worth a lot more. It is shocking when we see the kind of things that people would do for love, and I hope that I am never in the position where I have to make that kind of decision.
@zip12ph (179)
• Philippines
1 Jun 12
Hi GemmaR, basing on the situation, i myself can say that the relationship is not worth fighting for, since the husband having another woman is a proof that he don't really love my friend that much since he doesn't care is she is hurting or not, I also pray that my friend will see her worth as a person too. thanks you for your comment.
@hoodedboi (185)
• Philippines
1 Jun 12
Well to be frank, that's where you come in as a friend. There's a very thin line between being sacrificial and stupid. Sometimes we need to hurt our friends in order to save them, I believe that you should fight for your love one, but how can you fight in a war that has been won already? Sometimes God is already showing us the way to happiness but we are to stubborn and blinded by our emotions.
I think you should talk to your friend and tell her that she is being stupid already. Hurt her emotions so she'd be able to realize that what she's doing is wrong... I know it's gonna be hard for you to do it but you'll see eventually that things will turn around
@zip12ph (179)
• Philippines
1 Jun 12
Thank you for your comment, one of our friends actually did tell her about her stupidity but still this friend of ours didn't listen and even claim that we are not helping at all. We do understand her situation but we all give up and we just let her be in the situation that she chooses.
@MJkejnie (20)
• Philippines
30 May 12
hello friend,
it so sad to know the story of your friend, there's no justice about her situation living in a 1 house together with the mistress of his husband. though u keep on advising her to move on an let go to his husband but she keep on insist , i think u should have a long patience to understand and to keep on advising her until she can really realize that her doing is not already in justice to herself...
godbless to your friend..
@zip12ph (179)
• Philippines
1 Jun 12
Hi MJkejnie, there is really no justice on this kind of situation but my friend has the option to get out of this but she chooses to stay, maybe she feels that is she will do this kind of stupidity, his husband will love her again.Well i just wish that the sacrifice will result on my friends favor.
@gracielou85 (140)
•
30 May 12
You should let her explore life out of your place and try to make her a deal to meet strangers or give her a blind-date! If it still won't work, tell her to pay a visit to a shrink!
@zip12ph (179)
• Philippines
1 Jun 12
Hi Gracielou, i've tried it a hundred times, i carry her along during my time out with friends, i also have set up blind dates for her, but to no avail, she says she's bored and all she needs is her husbands love to be back to her.At that point, I stopped, since i cant push his husband into falling in love to her i again.
@apoljuice1 (730)
• Philippines
30 May 12
I think what your friend lacks is self respect and the realization that she's better than that. If she doesn't realize it now, she will certainly realize it later.But sometimes no matter how hard we try to help someone, if they're not willing to listen, then you really won't be able to help her. It's really bad what this guy is doing, and he is going too far. I would love to ruin that affair in an way I can mainly because he is making your friend look stupid. Your friend does not deserve that, no one does. I someone is tired in a relationship, they should at least try to figure out a solution for it, not be stupid and have an affair where his wife is living
@zip12ph (179)
• Philippines
1 Jun 12
hi, I think my friend exactly knows that what she's doing is really stupid and that she also is aware that she is depriving herself of the word self respect, but as what i observe from her, she is hoping that everything will be on its proper place soon, not really sure as to how soon. but i do still pray that one day, somehow she can realize that its time to grow up and move on.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
30 May 12
Oh, no, poor your friend. Your friend is really in blind love. How could she give up all because of that bad man. She should go with her life and forget that man, he is not worth with her love at all.
I believe that there are many good men out there who deserved for her. I think she may change later but currently it is really hard to persuade her about what she does is wrong..
@zip12ph (179)
• Philippines
1 Jun 12
Hi Dansazz, what you've said is exactly correct, i myself don't see how this would help my friend gain back the love that his husband have for her, and i also feel sorry for her since she cant accept the fact that the love is gone and she needs to move on. Thanks for your comment.
