Maybe I should not feel this way...but I do.

It seems like you really care a lot for him but you should not worry too much or stress yourself...All of us are different and we express ourselves differently too. Maybe you are worrying without reason, maybe he loves you a lot too but just doesn't express it much. You should try and talk to him about your feelings and see his reaction and see if he will make an effort to change himself slightly for your sake...

I used to do that to my partner. Call every time he is taking a while, send messages inquiring of how he is when he's at work. Trying to all the effort in the world to make him see that I care. I thought I was showing him I cared, but he confessed that to him, all those 'efforts' were choking him. It seems that he was being monitored and watched all the time and every single time he doesn't perform, he only sees that I am disappointed and he doesn't know what to do to make me happy. I guess you just need to feel more secure. He does come home, right? Whenever you are worried sick - you find out later that you were worried sick about nothing, right? He does talk to you, right? We cannot expect men to feel the same way as we do - or better, we cannot expect them to do the things we do for them. They are not structured emotionally and any emotional stuff that is happening to the ladies, they're mind is blown to bits because they just don't know how to function. Do you work? Remember, the idle mind is the Devil's workplace. The more you are 'idle' or unproductive, the more you'd be thinking about him and worrying. The more you have time to think, the dangerous your thoughts become. So if you are idle or don't have much work, find another source to use unused energy. The busier you are, the more peaceful the partnership is. I have mentioned I was like that before (though there are still instances when I still am but it's rare). Until I finally decided to stop my insecurity. He does come home to me. He does hug me and make me feel he loves me. He does share his dreams with me. He does talk to me still and consider my opinion on things - maybe he does love me after all. So I just stopped. I started doing something else in my spare time. Stopped sending messages when he works or is outside. I would only do so if it's rather late. Stopped waiting for him to call or send a message. And you know what, he started doing some effort. He started to get curious of how I was doing because I was quiet the whole day. Whenever he does something that would cause him to be rather late, he'd call to let me know and every single thing that I do, he started doing. I am no expert on men, but I think I know my partner. He needs space in order to function well. He will not do some effort if I already do it to him. He doesn't see the point in me worrying because he feels he is doing his best. Every single time I worry, it makes him feel that nothing he does is ever enough - thus both of us are now insecure with thinking like that. So give your partner some time. Trust him to do the right things. He will not do some effort if you keep on demanding it from him - like a mother does to her teenage kids. Stop being a mom, start being a partner and a wife. Good luck! And I hope you'll have a great MyLot experience ahead!

To me, this post makes you seem very insecure with yourself which is making you insecure about your relationship. Seems like you have trust issues with your husband.

Mature love doesn't include making someone jealous...but it should be an effort on both people's part...or one does start to feel a bit neglected. Have you just tried talking to him? I am the type of person who hates playing games...if I need something I ask for it.

Been through done that but what i realized is this: just because they don't act the way i do doesn't mean they love us less. You see people have different ways of showing affection. Each of us have our own way of showing how much we love that person. Now just because he doesn't get jealous doesn't mean he loves you less. He has his own way of showing his love for you. Why changed him? Why change you? If you love him like you said then why stop what you're doing so you could get the same treatment? He already loves you because you are the mother of his children, he married you and he is yours for life. Hope this help coz it did help me. Now i just accept the fact that i'm loved and it doesn't matter that he doesn't show it the way i do.

Seems perfectly normal to me :) sometimes we need the right amount of daily affection and attention to know we are still wanted or to help us feel secure in our moments of insecurities. I feel that way sometimes myself and my fiance is always too busy. He's been my longest relationship so on occasion I get scared and overly insecure and I get clingy. Mind you I hate getting like that but he does understand and in the end things are okay and I always tell him thank you when he cheers me up but than he'd be like that's my job :3

I do sometimes. My husband just is laid back all the time. He does not fight about things, and whatever goes. He has never been one to just walk up and hug me, but he was not brought up that way. You have to watch about pushing them away, you just might end up alone.

Desperation drives people away. You are acting desperate. I do not recommend pushing him away, but I do suggest being a little less "needy" Do things you enjoy, and be nice to yourself. That will make him more likely to want to do stuff for you, it will let him know that you are not desperate.

Because you are not certain of yourself, and he may doing something to make you feel unsure. Or not doing something. You can't make someone be the way you want them to be. He is his own person. It isn't really fare for him to ALWAYS be the one to call back and apologize. You need to treat him the way you would like to be treated. Maybe he is feeling unsure and needs to have you tell him and show him too. If you feel that you are putting in all of the effort you to find the right time and tell him so. Be honest but tactful. Push someone alway alittle does just that and sometimes it is enough to push them away forever. You need to have a heart-to-heart with him and come to some conclusions through that conversation that will help you to realize either he really does love you and you don't need to make him jealous or push him away, or, you need to look at your relationship and try to salvage what you can.

Mmm...this is a difficult one because I'm not an expert on relationships or sociology, but maybe your intuition is telling you something or maybe you are over reacting to some mixed signals that your husband is sending out I don't know of course, but my mother use to tell me to fallow my instincts and inner voice because there often correct especially in life and even love, my mother has been married for over 30 years to my father so I tend to think maybe she knows what shes talking about, but of course everyone's situation is different Though it might be a good idea to talk your feelings out with your husband and maybe he will become less distant and he might communicate more when he's away from home, it's possible that if you tell him about your fears and concerns he will become a little more understanding, well I wish you and your hubby the best.

Apparently here is an effort made to change the personality of another. Wrong. If whatever you expect to happen is not happening putting an effort in that direction will only make matters worse. It should be spontaneous. You should accept what is in store for you and move on. Everything will fall in place.

I am like you too. I am not used to living a while without my husband closely by my side. We are in the same work and once he go to another plant he also supervising, I always call him and asking him when he will come back. I think that is natural. We, women are like that sometimes they don't understand why. Like how important it is for us to hear them say I love you, sorry and forgive me. But also, we should understand that not all men are the same. While others are showy, more are not. haha. Maybe, you should stop putting the effort and just let it come naturally. You need to trust him more. :)

Well, maybe I should not even comment on your esteemed discussion, as I, although 37 years have never even been involved in a romantic relationship. Meanwhile, I tend to point out that I'm gay, so in case one day I might be jealous "of my beloved man." Just to stay on, however I would like to tell you, do not you think you might be a little too possessive of your husband? Or better: Do you have any doubt that maybe he could betray you when you're both in the distance? I hope it is not so!, Instill what I wrote is just my personal opinion, so take it for what it is.

I understand what you mean. My gf is exactly like you. We used to argue about thins things but one day we sat down to talk about it. She's better at expressing herself than I am and she understands that. I explained to her why I'm not jealous. It's not like I don't care or something, it's just that it's her decision when a guy hits on her. Guys will always hit on her and I'm not always gonna be there. But I trust her enough that she will the the one to push them away. If I'm wrong so be it but I won't be in a relationship without trust. I have to make her want to be in a relationship with me. I don't always wrap my arms around her, she does that a lot more than I do. I give her a flower once in a while. When she thinks I'm being to distant she always tells me. Maybe I'm not a person in a position to give you any advice because we are not married and you know how your relationship has been so far, but maybe you and your spouse are different and express affection in different ways. Pushing him away might work but it also might backfire on you.

Does your husband know you feel this way? have you told him what you feel and what you need from him? He is not showing you that he values you so you are feeling insecure and that's an awful feeling that an adult woman should not be feeling. Having an adult relationship, that is mature and alive takes effort from both parties I don't know the best way to get your husband to cooperate, maybe he is just that sort of guy who is incapable of keeping his wife happy and taking care of his responsibility in the relationship. You are doing your part and it seems he is oblivious to his. For goodness sake, don't start with the game playing...he cannot read your mind and it seems you don't really know him any more than he knows you. You may just have to accept him warts and all and remain in a loveless marriage or leave him and find fulfilment on your own. Feeling alone and unloved is not good at all but being married and feeling that way is soul destroying, depressing and can cause a lot of damage to your mental and spiritual well being.

It sounds like you are working very hard to gain the love and affection of your husband. I don't know if that is working for or against you. It does not seem right that you should have to put in all the effort, but then he may just be one of those people who is not open with his feelings. The one thing you do not want to do is to act too clingy, whihc may be a turn off to him. Don't bother playing the "I am going to make him jealous game". That does not always work and can backfire if it makes him mad. I hope you find something that helps you with your worrying so you can really enjoy your relationship.

I used to feel this way when I was married. I did wonder if it's just my insecurities but later on I realized that I have the right to my feelings and I shouldn't be the one always sacrificing it for someone, or to please them. You have the right to want what you want and get it. I also realized that I revolved too much for my ex and I never gave myself enough credit or freedom to do what I want to do. I believe that once you can find a purpose not just being a wife for your husband, you will realize your worth a lot more than what he gives you and those things wouldn't hurt as much. But it's easier said than done.

You know he could be under some stress. Sometimes when us guys do not respond it could mean stress. I do understand what you mean, my ex used to tell me that. But I was affectionate to her. She is the one that screwed up though. SO not I do not give her any reaction on purpose. It seems to work well for me.

I completely agree with you. I too feel exactly the same as you. I often feel I'm the only one trying to keep our love strong in our relationship. It must be a guy thing because most guys don't seem to think about those types of things after they have been in a relationship with a person for awhile. At the start of the relationship they do this a lot. But it seems over time it stops. I think that distancing ourselves from them only makes matters worse. But if you do try it I hope that he will respond and let you know how much he cares for you. Often times I feel it's like pulling teeth to get my husband to tell me that he still cares for me. It can be overwhelming frustrating. I can empathize with you wholeheartedly.

Men are totally different creatures than us women. We have emotions and show them. Men have emotions but have been taught to hide them. I do not feel that pushing someone away is the answer. Yet, I have experienced a few of the same feelings in past relationships myself. I understand your concrens and fears. It's painful and takes up a lot of your time and energy. You say, "Maybe I should not feel this way...but I do." You have feelings. Never regret them. You are just you. To block them out would cause you more stress. Have you had a talk with him about why he pushes you away? Does he spend more time away from home than actually being at home with you? Do you know where his is going? I also had the same questions, and I learned to see that, maybe I was the one who needed a break. I went to a hotel for 2 nights. It was hard not to pick up the phone and call him every hour. In fact, I left my phone battery at home because I knew I wasn't strong enough. When I went home, after those two days, we had an emotional discussion about where things should go from there. It helped. Sometimes people need space to themselves to sit back and clear their minds. I hope this helps. Keep us posted!