Strange habit in a relationship
By sishy7
@sishy7 (27167)
Australia
June 1, 2012 9:30pm CST
Few years ago I visited my sister overseas and she poured her heart out to me about her husband having an affair with his co-worker. I did not really know what to advise her then and I was really only being there as someone she can talk to at the time. She did not want to talk about it to our mom or her friends as she did not want them to think differently about her husband. If I did not happen to visit her at the time and had a chance to talk face-to-face with just the two of us, I’d think she would not have told me about it either...
Anyway, I’d ask her sometime afterwards how that situation was going with her. She said the other girl is now gone from their life and she had been making sure that no one else enters between her and her husband. “How do you do that?” I asked.
She said there is not one day that she does not make sure she knows exactly what her husband is doing in every second 24/7! She even comes to his work and has lunch with him every single day! OMG! I was like: “isn’t that a bit extreme? Won’t he get sick of you watching him 24/7?” to which she replied: “no, not at all!” 
She actually believes that it is what needed to save their relationship. She feels it was partly her fault that he had an affair as she had been too busy minding the kids, the household, and the printing business that they own. What even more shocking to me is that her husband seems to accept her 24/7 attention to him. Maybe he’s just that kind of husband; strange, if you ask me.
Definitely not something that would work in most relationship. Either one could easily feel tired of having to be monitored or to pay full attention 24/7. I suppose they really are meant for each other; apparently the strange habit works for them...
She actually believes that it is what needed to save their relationship. She feels it was partly her fault that he had an affair as she had been too busy minding the kids, the household, and the printing business that they own. What even more shocking to me is that her husband seems to accept her 24/7 attention to him. Maybe he’s just that kind of husband; strange, if you ask me.
Definitely not something that would work in most relationship. Either one could easily feel tired of having to be monitored or to pay full attention 24/7. I suppose they really are meant for each other; apparently the strange habit works for them...1 person likes this
5 responses
@Mashnn (4501)
•
2 Jun 12
If that the extent I would go to save my marriage, I would prefer losing it. Sorry, but I cannot imagine myself watching a grown-up 24/7 only because he cannot keep his zip closed. I believe your sister deserve to be with a better man who respect her and who understand what marriage/fidelity means. I would not support my sister to stay with such man considering the risk involved.
@sishy7 (27167)
• Australia
2 Jun 12
I can see your point. I know my BIL has his flaws. And I think my sister has her own problem as well. See, he is the only man she has ever been with. I think for her, it's either him or no one at all. As long as there is still a way to keep him for herself, she will do everything she can to do so. I can only imagine, if after all this she finds out that he has another affair, then it will probably the end of their relationship for good.
@Mashnn (4501)
•
2 Jun 12
Sorry for your sister but what do you think would happen if one day the husband wake and tell her he want to divorce her. I guess she will still be able to survive and move on. If I were in your position, I would truly let her know staying in such a relationship is not the right thing.
@sishy7 (27167)
• Australia
2 Jun 12
I suppose if it comes to the point where I can undoubtedly see that the relationship is no longer healthy and worthwhile for her, I'd then say something to her.
As you may read between the lines when I wrote this topic, my sister and I do not really talk heart-to-heart much. I'd say we are closed as siblings, but we do tend to lead our own lives and do not really get involved in each other personal matters. I'd still be there for her, though, whenever she needs me.
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
3 Jun 12
Babysitting the husband 24/7 is not a very ideal work for me. That can be very stressful to her as well especially if she still has to travel. But if she thinks it is the only way to keep and save the marriage and she is willing to sacrifice her time babysitting her husband even at work, then I would say, she should go for it.
1 person likes this
@chan2zexy (508)
• Philippines
2 Jun 12
Some people just like the attention. It's good to pay attention to your loved one but 24/7 sounds like it's strangling the person on the neck. If a person really wants to cheat, that person will really find a way. If a person is loyal, no matter what temptation is, that person will never give in. If the person knows how to handle temptation, he/she will never give in. Breathing space is also a necessity in a relationship. =)
On your last point, well maybe that's what works for them. Her husband gets the feeling of being "wanted" for the attention that he gets from your sister. At least it works for them.=D
1 person likes this
@swapmind (355)
• Australia
2 Jun 12
Marriage is all about trust and understanding,loosing trust erodes a relationship.Well it sound shameful that a wife has to go to that extent in order to save her marriage.But for me this is no way of reestablishing trust,cheating/fidelity emanates from someones mind/heart and a mere physical check cannot assure that its all set.I'll suggest her to let her set free and maintain a distance.He'll come back and ask for forgiveness if he really care for his family else he is not worth to be your husband.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27167)
• Australia
3 Jun 12
You're right, sometimes a distance can actually 'test' if a relationship is worth saving or not. In her case, she quickly figures that the opposite is what actually work. She won't let any 'distance' at all comes between her and her husband if she can help it. Strangely enough, both of them actually feel the 24/7 attention works.
@clarissa8790 (26)
• United States
2 Jun 12
Yes that is strange. Most men dont like all that attention. I would think he would feel very annoyed by her being with him all the time. But hey if its working for them thats all that matters. He might just be in need of attention though.
1 person likes this
