How to improve mother and daughter relationship?

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During my wedding day, my mother gave out her speech. She started to say this, "We always disagree to agree"...It's true. But with all our disagreements, we always end up OK and fine, without resolving the conflicts. After a fight perhaps, we just talked to each other again like nothing happened. I thought it's really OK. Now that I'm getting more mature by nature, I came to realize it was not healthy to not just talk about it. I have observed that every time we came to an argument, she always dig on the past mistakes or issues , which is beyond my control. These past issues hurt me and can provoke anger and hatred sometimes. Problem is, I don't know how to talk to her. She will never listen anyway. I tried to reach out to her , confront on the issues, but it turned out all wrong all the time. For her I am empowering her role as my mother. She'd say I am doing her some lecture. She is so serious at all aspects, that even some silly jokes at her to calm her down, will be mistakenly interpreted. I hope there's someone out there who can relate to this and give me some tips to make our relationship better. I am so envious to those women who consider their moms as their best friend.