It hurts when efforts are not recognized.

Based on your post, I think you have a bigger problem than just having your efforts not recognized. You seem to have a deeper problem in your relationship. If he's really too much for you, then start recognizing what you need to do to fix the problem.

I find it to be most beneficial and actually go out of my way to do good things for others without been found out. This isn't trully altruistic because I get personal satisfaction out of doing good things to help people out. I know how it feels to want to be recognized and i was always like that before but now I need to actively do things to deflate my ego and that may be letting others take the credit for things I have done.

I think this goes for all people, and not only for women... i guess though your topic or discussion focuses on men ignoring women's efforts in making their relationship work. It may sound a bit general and may sound as if it is happening to all people... well i think there may also be exceptions to this one... Our male counterparts do have their own choice though i think it may already have been clouded by the fact that society sorts of dictates what they ought to be, similarly, we women tend to try to let things pass, let these things you mentioned be overlooked so as not to cause more issues on top of the existing ones. For me, though it boils down to lack of communication in a relationship. Women may also be doing the very same things you mentioned that most women experience from men and for me, when there is no open communication in a relationship, even the lact of the society dictated "roles" these issues would persist.

hi swapmind, one thing is important to remember is that you can not please all the people all the time..but it hurts more when people who means somethings to us seems to not appreciate us.. You have to also remember that some people appreciate us totally but just do not know how to voice it or show it.. I hope everything works out for you,, but don't change your way of doing or saying things... You can actully be very contented with knowing who you are and knowing that what you do you do well...perhaps in time others will in turn see it as well.....

I couldn't help my self but I am really hurt when all of my efforts are not recognized. I just go in the corner and let my tears fall down from my eyes then finally composing myself and go back to work. I already experienced it and had the experience most of the time. I actually do an office task beyond my job description, though they could not hear any complain from me, for I really just keep my mouth shut and will just do all the task accordingly. There are times that I expect good news for me because of doing a job well done, but I am not recieving even a simple gestures of an appreciation. To think that I have done the work from my heart and did really well. However, there is still a hope in my heart that someday this little me will soon be recognized and might even be rewarded. Anyway have a happy day!

If it really hurts for not being recoganized for your hard work, then I think it's time to vocalize your feeling. Gender should not be reason for been overlooked or being looked down up on in this modern socity . In any relationship when conflicts occure , moral standards encourages people who are involved to be tolerant and forgiving but I think it's not only referring to the female gender group. Too much of anything isn't good, so I take that too much of tolerance is like the trigger of a vicious cycle. We should be gentle but firm in keeping out personality integrities. If you give chance for others to boss you around, then the rest your life may stay that way .